Show THE IRISH WAKE OR THE LAWYERS BOTHERED W what hat bat it was that took me into the courtroom court room of T whether unpleasant business or ignoble curiosity need not be known even unto you dear reader the only fact I 1 wish len lin known own is that I 1 was there and while there it became my fortune to meet onca ones more with my old acquaintance peter mul when I 1 entered the courtroom court room liters was quite a mixture of oval Irl iri irish shand shana and round german faces of the round iron railing emch forms the barrier to encroachments encroach ments upon the dignity of the bar and judging from the broken heads and ani blackened eyes exhibited by many of the spectators it was difficult to surmise that the occasion which had brought them together was to obtain the he plaste plaster of the law for wounds which had lately baen been received by one of those spirited rows which warm up so delightfully the old celtic celile heart hearl but let ma me the scene seene within the railing and running from it at right angles were some seven or eight benches crowded with quite a respectable itzler number of witness witnesses ess esp consisting of a delicate sprinkling of all nations parallel to the tha benches bandies but on the opposite side of the courtroom on elevated seats sat the terrible jury the central space was occupied by a fair mahogany table covered with green cloth around which were seated quit a number of dainty dressed gentleman who styled themselves attorneys at law seated in the centre and rear ou on an elevated platform dominating domini ting the tho humbler desk of the clerk were a couple of grave elderly gentleman with keen eyes faces whose posts of honor indicated the tho judicial nature of their functions the tha case which was already up for hearing was ai I 1 expected one of assault and battery the facts ai as they were dimly elicited elicit edi edl appear to have been these those the irish who were defendants had some short time previous been invited to wake one mr mcshane at a short distance iu in the country while on the tha sama sima evening the tha germans had been out dancing at one of their customary festi festl 1 val balls those two parties returning homeward somewhere in la the small hours met and meeting fought but who began the affray seemed stone as difficult of discovery as the philosophers just as I 1 entered the tha counsel for the defence derence was inthe lathe in tha act of examining a slip of paper presently ha he said to the clerk call peter Malro onay if you please what do you expect to IV prove by him himy said the tho attorney forthe for the prosecution A good deal that kiy take you by surprise respond responded ad the tha other with a smile all ah I 1 dare say flay sald ead sad the tile prosecuting attorney whom wo we shall call mr air bibulous ai 1 I dare say thesa these irish always hang together j speak your more mora plainly pla pia pl tinly s lii ili the tiie other with a laugh perhaps you would rather they should hino hing hang together 1 I doat dont know said slid bibulous who being of the cosite opposite politics to the party in T I 1 regarded ad them with no little aversion peter cried the clerk poter pater exclaimed the stentorian crier there wis no answer beyond a quick shuffling of feet and an eager whispering in which a touch of the tha brogue predominated silence shouted the crier grier and thea than lie ho cal cai called 1 1 out again at the tha top of his voice peter Mal nal rooney 9 whist ye ya On orn ludin rudin said peter poter who had all this lime lima been standing quietly by the sll sil s lle tle le of the other sure as im not a little lost in a crowd theres no nade to bellow after afler llie ille me like a great bull calf why you answer then said the tha crier would I 1 be after disturbing their honors hollors in ILI that way wayt an ans I 1 a glut gh leman illeman of eta sta ngin and a lacher of the decencies you swear mr said the clerk proffering pro fiering the book do ye take me for a halthen hay then said wild peter indignantly dign antly sure its not respectable to swear in a court of justice but you must swear said paid the clerk sharply did yer honor iver hear tile the likes 0 that thai sald said pedrr ter pealing appealing rip to the betch bench A chrispian chri christ lan ian man matt un 1111 a decent looking man too burrin lie lias has lost his bis is crop of hair heir entirely an put nn rin a strange look lookin thatch the clerk wore a wig to make line me and feloniously feloniously y swear before the face of yer honors and the gittlemen gintle men of the binch bind oh oil but the vartue of me wont let me do that same said one of the judges striving to repress the qu vering about the muscles of his lips his associate was stuffing a white handkerchief into inlo his mouth you must be ti aware that it is always necessary for a witness to take an oath before lie ile can bo be permitted to give evidence at the bar sure sir tir I 1 know said peter innocently that is what the clerk requires of you continued the judge who added sith with a faint attempt at gravity you will also recollect that it is our duly duty to commit any one to prison for foe contemptuous beli bell alvior in court long we life to yer honor lionor said peter sorra bit ill disgrace by hurtin the feelings of any respectable grey haired old gentleman like herself or yer ilon lion ra rs brother yonder who wiio is atlay atin his white handkerchief to stop the thel hunger pain deed sir id ba be taking great shame to me s self sif if if ir I 1 did swear hlin said the judge nodding hastily lias iras tily lily to the clerk and sinking flaking back in his well cushioned seat now mr said the counsel for h hs s friends tell us what you know about this adf aff tir peters story ia is a perfect rigmarole lie ile had bad been to his friend Mc lianes llanes wake he had llad returned from it hie hi friends got into trouble with the germans but as to how the llie affray commenced iila liis liia memory clear cleor enough before became sudden suddenly iv very hazy all lie could recollect was that su sundry adry of the irish trish being sou son soundly adly d by the germans pummelled pummel ted led quite suite as soundly their antagonists the te cross examination now commenced and as peter caught up and repelled every move of the keen witted wilted attorney the lle lie contest between cultivated sharpness and n shrewdness became gradual gradually iv very exciting well mr mul Mal rooney baid said he ilia attorney you aay say you left home in tile the evening to assist in it observing this national custom of yours about what time in ill the evening deed fir sir 1 replied peter with the utmost simplicity city hut but that bates me to say bay betwixt and sundown sun down and ind moonrise moon rise you are sure ot of that I 1 said the ilia attorney quickly och by the powers that I 1 am arn said peter with a keen heen een twinkle of his llis little eye have you an almanac mr air clerk pray see bee at what time the sun fun set and end tile the moon rose on the eighth of of april Aprill 1 st 1 suli sun set oil on tile the eighth day of or april drawled the clerk in his usual nasal tone at twenty four minutes past six moon rose reseat at thirty seven minutes past eleven there was veas a sudden throughout though out the court like the surge of waves upon the beach ilia tile fuce face of the prosecuting attorney u ey flushed crimson while peter looked the very picture of innocence yon you must speak to the polut witness said the judge with all the sli sll sharpness lie could command your answer is impertinent 1 troth er honor lionor 2 said peter respectfully its sorry I 1 am for that sure the truth I 1 am tellin by vartue virtue of me oath what in the evening was it sir ra fa d tha prosecuting bt torney attorney whose red nose was now bettio getting fiery sorra a bit I 1 know said peter think fix upon some daily occurrence occur ence for your guide and tell the jury was it before or cr after oh isaid said sald peter art ant r apparently reflecting a little sure and it was after lay ah now we shall get at it said eaid Mr bibulous triumphantly it was after tea lea you say well sir at tit what hour do you usually take tea lee that depends upon convenience said peter wili wil an air of most profound thought sometimes we have dinner for tay lay 1 the attorney looked vexed 11 1 I evant want to know your usual hour of taking your eveni evenings evening nga meal we call tea fea ea Is it four five or six yes the truth trutha said sald stid s iid ild peter nodding his lits head which of these hours said the tile aitor attorney nev sharply if it ud be blasing ye not to bother a poor boy id be thankful said peter its little I 1 know about one hour or the tiie other we drive the lay time down the night so the attorney bit his lips arb are you yon married sir siri r mid said he oh but that does be bothering ma me entirely sure I 1 think so what dont you know whether you are married or not alsy aisy taisy aisy if you plase plasa sure its a some question to answer any way an theres no III mistress biddy connoly courted coor ted and married me once bulit but bul it strikes io me I 1 must be a widdy now A widower you yo amean mean I 1 suppose your wite wife is dead then who gho ho biddy connoly troth sir its my sarious opinion the fat fait woman is pre sarvin herself lier ller self seif for another husband twenty years fore nent ule tie you are divorced are you said the attorney looking significantly at the jury as much as to say ha ilia ha ila heres a pretty witness for you divorced 7 not a ali abl lit uit tofit sad peter quietly separated S then th ils its it said peter peler and then bursting out into a rich low laugh he fie added oh gol it by y the mor tai tal but it was glad I 1 was when what michael michuel connoly came brick back from hil hi hll and alsed nie nio shoulder of matrimonial delaver de des dver saver 1 when you reached readied the house louse of tit the hafe fate mr air mcshane ac shane what did you and your party do whit wint in sir said peter with utmost simplicity what vital next gave dinnis dian is mcshane us 09 decent a wake as ever ever was sen seii s en bri out of ireland now mr air you have hare told us up you were there when the riot commenced 1 I 1 wish you to state distinctly who begali began it id like to know if it ud plase ye said peter reter hurn hum humbly ily ity vly lly as he lie smoothed the crown of his hat ilat I 1 id like to know if a wise all an a understanding gentleman like your yourself seir if ir ye can tell me when two dirk clouds come to gither and strike light I 1 nill mill which of the tiie two struck first I 1 this tins is no answer clouds cannot be compared 1 to two parties of drunken men 11 1 I think the he answer quite pertinent said the attorney for the hie defence with a smile for botti clouds and men appear to have luve been charged with tila the fluid ah ali ha said mr air bibulous nodding significantly at peter reter pc ter the man is no fool I 1 see beel seel id be sorry to contradict your experience said peter pter smoothly and land sure cure id like to return your our compliment but for the vartue of me oath what lehat kind of a piece of road was it where this affray fook took place said tle the attorney angrily alvas lives was it straight strai glit or crooked Nathe rally it was fis ss straight strai glit and aa as a p ece ee of or rond road as like to look at but cirou m it was as crooked as a gintle dintleman man that had lost his liis temper tamper ilow liow now how do you make that out sure Sur etwas the liquor talat made the differ dlf dif ller oh then you ou confess to your 5 our party having been drunk its my sarious opinion that it was them ihm germans that was batine about like a wrack at say an that my friends behaved bell beli aved themselves like decant decent people bur but it its s not aisy to s siy say siy ty 1 when you beret deraat at Mc Ale did you eat and alid drink sure sir fir what did we go there for lor would ye ve iuva luva us sta stai vin ivin wid the huri hurl hunger ger on au an occasion i of the likes of that certainly not of course certainly not now please lease to tell the jury what hat refreshments consisted of Lash lashins ins iua of atin an drLik drin kiu klu iu said peter boldly never mind the tho eating what kind of drink had you 1 said peter iii uli ull hid id tile the feivor of the plate about it 9 V said the lawyer as if affecting igi rance Tance of the liquor pray mr air will you oblige me by explaining what is A arrah rr h said peter slyly casting lils liis eyes at the rubicund nose of his questioner as if ye didn dian t know the tile prose prosecuting cuiling attorney with his obnoxious nasal organ orgin growing redder and redder turned to the bench and violently what whal he said could not be heard amid the storm of iau idu laughter g 11 t silence shouted the crier witness so 1 said sald the tile judge absolutely snorting ili in the effort to maintain maint mallit din a coming cuming gravity witness this cannot be allowed any loit longer ger what is the reason you evade a direct reply to liis his question answer him highe be must be answered I 1 troth sir ill do that same thing tiling sure I 1 suppose it was making full fun he be was why should you suppose that said the attorney fiercely bekasi as I 1 looked at yer red nose I 1 thought yon must bo be well acquainted the carature cra ture 1 the judges fell back and exploded the ilia prosecuting attorney sunk into his chair as if a ten pound shot had fallen suddenly upon his head the auditors were almost purple in the face and there stood peter looking about him with a sort fort of inquiring wonder upon tipon his Ms face as if it utterly unconscious of any cause for such a noisy outbreak nave have you done with the wit witness inquired the counsel for the defence let him go bald baid said sald the attorney sharply I 1 can call do nothing at all with such a fellow peters eye now fairly alris twinkled twing led fed As he left the box lie he drew down the corners of his mouth with the most sovereign contempt augh lie he muttered it ud take a dozen little red nosed men meu to late peter byth er with nith the tongue longue or tha shil shii lulah iviah I 1 does be thinking |