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Show In summer time the livin' ain't so easy loanam Staff, Spring 2010 Editor: A queen's view Harry Cross Jr. Contributing Writer Put your cloths back on. He just got this look on his face that David Patterson Business Manager: Eric Nielsen with a Jedi-lik- e So I said to the guy, StaffWriters: Laurel McLane Krista Smith of the hottest days of the year Unfortunately I used the hand that had two VHS cassettes and gave myself a fantastic swat to the head with like strength. It hurt! And its that damn bugs fault, too! I made sure there werent any witnesses to vaporize and returned the cassettes to the library. If there is one thing about the summer I loath above all, it would be the chance the pretty people get to show themselves off. Oh yeah sure, wear revealing clothes. Thats right, you and your skinny ass, with abs I could wash my clothes on, a chest you could crack open walnuts with, thighs of a linebacker, arms of Atlas, a face as chiseled as Michelangelos David, and eyes... oh eyes... I could just melt like a Popsicle on the fourth of July. sigh Well, screw you! Do us a favor and die, you skinny little bitches. Seriously, Calista, I could sit on you and break you like a chicken. You turn sideways and disappear. I hope you erupt like Saint Helens when you hit 40. I plan to survive the summer indoors. Protected from G-for- read something like, Are you Jenni Stokes gay? GUILTY!!!, Yes. It is that time. Winter Contributing Writers: Harry Cross Jr. Jennifer Production Manager: Kendra Black Soto-Allr- Advisor: Kim Zarkin sanctuary comes to an end and life itself seems to awaken anew. Flowers begin to bloom, trees show signs of emerging from a season long hibernation, the grounds crew brings out the various flower pots decorating campus... it makes me want to puke. I hate this nice weather, and no, Im not crazy for saying so. Those who live for the great temperatures, clear skies, lying in the grass soaking up the sun all need a swift boot to the head. How thick-skullcan you be? Explain your enjoyment of this season to me as your eyes cry from the death of hay fever the botanical life provides from listening to too much James Brown. Its like revenge of the plants out there. Then theres the heat. The sweat runs down the crack ed Feli Anne Hipol Jeff Sparrow The Forum is published every other Tuesday. Its circulation is 1,000 newspapers. The first copy is free of charge; additional copies may be purchased for 50 cents. We encourage students, faculty, staff and other all letters to Krista readers to provide feedback. Smith at forumeditorwestminstercollege.edu. Only signed letters will be accepted. The Forum reserves the right to edit all submissions. Views expressed are those of the writers and are not to be considered those of The Forum, the faculty, staff or administration. ed ail The than anything Sigourney Weaver ever encountered. Damn, Box Elder bugs are everywhere. Im physically assaulted every time I try to cross the bridge. I made my way across the bridge to return some VHS tapes to Giovale Library (I know, who watches VHS anymore?) With the tapes in my right hand, I had a Box Elder bug decide to perform a kamikaze maneuver into my right ear. Instinctively I reacted cook-of- f proves my meatloaf isn't the best ce all the allergens, insects and pretty people, all assaulting my senses. You can bet there will be an arsenal of Ben and Jerrys in my freezer enough to cure hunger world wide. My Netflix will be full of every Julia Roberts movie three times over with Steel Magnolias listed as every fifth one. I plan to add Tina Turner dance parties to my Jewish Thursdays, and an extra bottle of Jonny Walker Green of your ass like Niagara. And how can you completely over look the dramatic growth in the insect population? Theyre building a nest on the bridge over Emigration Creek far worse The results are in reflex to retaliate the assault on the insect. Label to my Irish Catholic Fridays. Soon enough this miserable season will pass, and life will return to the decay of the cold heartless winter. Life will get as close as it can to death as we know it. The thought tickles me. God, I hope the next ice age comes soon. Q Krista Smith Editor T a Everyone deserves thank you for sharing their taste buds and cooking t talents at the meat and V I 1 ' potato cook-o- ff on Friday, April 23. The votes are in and the comfort foods tasted by approximately 30 staff, faculty and student at Westminster. Cristys new American meatloaf won first place. The secret ingredient is nutmeg. Boyfriends Italian American inspired meatloaf came in second. And my wonderful meatloaf took third. Everyone agreed all three were delicious and it would be a tough choice. Dee and Winter were land enough to add to the fun with their funeral potato match up. Winter won first with her cheese, potato and bacon mixture, while Dees gooey, cheesy potatoes came in second with just two votes less. I want to thank Diane, Paula and Clair for counting the votes, Bob for being the announcer, Erin for supplying the boxes, Roxanne for the Thank you, all, for photos and Harry for the set-u- p. making the meat and potato cook-o- ff a memorable experience. Q Letter to the Editor 1 VOLUME XLHI: ISSUE 16 Letters to the Editor Columnist "spouts hate speech" Polity It : : : : t is the policy of The Forum to only accept letters from members of the Westminster College community this includes faculty, staff, students and alumni. Letters must be 700 words or less in length and may be edited for length and grammar. Letters must be sent from a valid email address and must be signed and include the signees affiliation to Westminster College. All letters to the editor should be emailed to forumeditorwestminstercollege. edu. My first exposure to The Forum was reading Issue 15s article From straight to gay. I cant believe that was even published. Just because Mr. Cross feels like he has been discriminated against because of his lifestyle doesnt give him the right to spout hate speech and discrimination in the other direction. I assume the author at times was trying to be funny, and probably get a reaction. However such writing merely perpetuates animosity between straights and gays. My first impression of The Forum was abysmal, and I sure dont plan to read it again while garbage like that is being published. Very disappointing. ; Ryan Jones MBA Student ' H : , |