OCR Text |
Show p 6 'peS'uuvuf , 2006 , lliliM to play a full rock concert. I cant even walk from Shaw to the parking lot without stopping for a quick nap. Directly following a Last Sunday, I found the the old men coolest show ever. It had retired for the evening and intense drama, high flying more terrible football infomeraction, funny missteps and cials were on. This part was new records. Its the the worst piece of the sweaty-dud- e television event in pie, though. There was America. no action to be seen. All I saw Im talking about the was video game guy John Super Bowl Super Bowl 40, Madden and some other dude to be exact. talking about how great the The events first highteams were. Wow, if anybody light was when two guys was buying this, I feel sorry (Im not very good with for them. names) juked the other team with a secret play, a play so devious and sneaky it could only be pulled out on Super Bowl Sunday. There was a secret fridge in this guys apartment. Thats right, a secret refrigerator that led into some corporate cavemen that, according to the program, shouldve used FedEx. The best and worst part of the evening was the long, drawn-ou- t commercials. The weird thing is that all of them were about football. The Super Bowl was like one long, segmented football infomercial complete with interviews, statistics and even testimonials by old guys who used the product back in the three-song-super-s- most-watch- et, ed When that terribly long commercial ended, I was treated to a slightly nutty piece that featured a giant lizard and robot meeting, falling in love and subsequently giving birth to a American automobile. Some of the stuff they think of these days just baffles me. gas-guzzli- ng Throughout the night televiof sion, there were also a few redundancies. One of the more prominent was a short with large men talking about visiting some theme park. award-winnin- g I dont know if I really got that one. And apparently theres a Code Black in some hospital. Someone should check on that. In my interest in this show, I looked up Greys Anatomy on Yahoo!, but all I got were medical books. What is a Code Black anyway? I hav e some exciting news: McGuyver is back! Yes, thats right. I saw it with my own two eyes. He untied himself with a car shimmied down a rope with a tube-soc- k and hotwired a car with air-freshen- a turkey-baste- r and some other cool junk. That guys pretty sweet. He really likes MasterCard too. Even though the football got in the way and the skits were extremely short (most were only about 30 seconds), the Super Bowl totally rocked. Ill definitely do this again next year. I only hope they get rid of that stupid football thing. It really gets in the way and I dont think anybody really cares for it. I really feel like buying stuff now. day. Even that big, white-haire- d guy from the video games tried hawking this football thing all night. He sure does like to draw on the screen a lot. i I couldve sworn that this huge infomercial was longer than the actual variety show. When the action returned, the Sprint cell phone with crime deterrent had me Hi I falling-off-my-couch-laughi- The bit with the mooning sheep was kind of cute, too. An office full of monkeys found a small gimmick to keep the bit slightly fresh. They introduced a similarly fated woman in an office full of jackasses (don- LrnmJf linimilninU' LJ hHHil Lj CMTli THE HCLENCE STOPS ZOO, keys). ! The Rolling Stones took the stage after what seemed like an eternity of more football presentation. Mick Jagger could really stand to eat a cheeseburger. I could see his ribs deteriorating in front of my eyes. His tube-to- p looked like it was purchased at Baby Gap. Keith Richards is looking great, too. I only wish that I could chain-smok- e for about 50 years and have the energy ebruary 16, 17, 18 at 7:30 pm t A. fjs& l! u. ' c r Dumke Student Theatre, in the Emma Eccles Jones Conservatory Tickets: $8 for students, $10 for general public For Tickets Call 801- - 832-245All Proceeds Benefit the Rape Recovery Center 5. ! J |