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Show 2 - November 16, 1999 The Forum 'fit t' I Lf f 7 S i (,i Well, trusty reader, I'm going to keep it short this week. My esteemed advisor, Fred Togo, suggested I write a "real" article this issue. Just to prove to him and to myself that I could actually take an objective stance on for it something and be a journalist again, I did so. Look I a are there But the things in couple elsewhere paper. feel the need to talk about in my allotted space. First and foremost, I have to talk about you, the two people who make this paper possible. In the lastme about have or number a weeks, good approached you this article. From Mark Merkley, Carolyn Perkins, and Mao to my friends in the weight room, Todd, Carrie, and much Jorge, many readers have not only told me how in articles written they like this column, but the other are very important these pages as well. These responses for two reasons. us Primarily, if you like what we're writing and tell to harder much to that so, it makes us want work you produce an even better paper next week. Do credit actually think we write this paper for college alone? No no no no no, that's like saying Britney Spears writes music for the money alone. We all know what a talented musician she is. Seriously though, we write these articles to feed our journalistic spirits. Any feedback we get from our readers, goou or bad, gets our motors running even hotter. So keep it coming, please. It's a good way to get your name in the paper. Secondly, your letting me know what you think about this article tells me that you are starting to care about what's going on in your world. Think about it, that's the only reason you pick The Forum up in the first which is hopefully place. You feel a need for knowledge, in the first Westminster at here reason the why you're doldrums of the out are breaking place. Terhaps people that seem to have captivated the nation for the last four or five years. We can only hope. In any case, keep something. There is one spot being wasted at a Westminster. When the demand for space is at this spot wasted. I premium, it seems ridiculous to have think most of you know what I'm talking about. In the upper level of the Jewett parking structure, in the northwest comer, lies parked a blue van. The tires are flat and the condition of this van is shaky at best. But that is not what concerns me about this tribute to American engineering. What concerns me is that this van has been parked in that exact same spot for months. It has not moved. I have no idea what it's doing there, parked for every hour of every day. But it has a valid parking sticker, so this fine somebody going to Westminster obviously owns Uncle Primo it So thinking, got your piece of technology. what in the name of Stone Cold Steve Austin could this van be there for? Here's a quick list of the top five reasons for this van to exist. The Top Five Reasons For This Van To Exist But let me get to the meat of the column this week. I was driving around Westminster's parking lots the other all apt to do. day, looking for a parking spot, as we are has always Westminster Now the parking situation at administration and for students been a touchy subject alike at Westminster. Students want more, but administration is unable to paint a couple more lines in the concrete. But it seems as though I was the only one looking for a spot at that particular moment. I only needed one spot in which to park the classically restored 1988 Mazda 626. Then I discovered Dhe iDITOR atrick C. Kibbie Production Manager Willie T. Hobdy one-bedroo- Staff Writers Michael DAsto Heather Cook James Heiskell Lucas Hill Cynthia Kirkham Audrey Maynard Jonathan Massimino Gia Throndsen Copy Editor Emily Murphy Photo Editor Amy Young Business Manager Heather Bodrero Staff Photographers Penny Echols Paul Gallegos Maritza I. Herrera-Dia- z Jeff Rassmusson Faculty Advisor Fred Fogo The Forum is published every Tuesday Letters are encouraged from students, faculty, staff and other renders Address all letters to: the Forum, Westminster College, 1840 So 1300 L , Salt Lake to edit all City, UT 84105 Only signed letters will be accepted and The Forum reserves the right submissions Views expressed are those of the writers, and are not to be considered those of The forum, ASWC, the faculty, staff or administration. This van has staying power. It is an enduring symbol of the modem world. Just by looking at it, you get the feeling that this van is headed for big things. Hence, this van will undoubtedly be the sight of the Y2K hits beginning of the apocalypse when the year the fan. It's a part of the new weight room. When you get so big and so juiced that the weights in the gym seem like paper clips to you, the answer is the van. Uecontent. underneath and bench press to your heart's Rip of pieces of the steel body to work your bulging of body. See if you can leg press that van right out for a its spot of permanence. Drink the refresher. Don't try this at home brisk anti-free- post-worko- In Westminster's continuing attempts to increase profit margins in an unyielding attempt to pay dividends to their stock holders, I, Primo, the financial wizard, believe I can help. Rent the van out as a apartment. With rent prices going through the roof, you could probably get $700 month out of this bad boy. Just tnink of the amenities. Showers and a weight room within walking distance. Fine arts await you just up the path at the Jewett Center. Forum two-speak- er ze ut kids. For those of you who have roommates, especially in the dorms, you know how hard it is to find a second of a moment. You privacy. Let's just think about it forfor yourself and have an intimate evening planned from the dollar back your honey. You just got full best Wendy's with the movies, your stomach is Gabriel's Peter has to offer, and you've got greatest hits softly coming out of the stereo. You're just about to get your groove on your future wife, when all of a sudden, your roommate busts open the door with his rowdy friends who not only insist on starts to staying, but one of your roommate's friendsis This situation on move in your girlfriend. unacceptable. So what do you do? I say spend the it could break into night in the van. It looks like you than more there's and enough room for fairly easily, When you and your girl to put your swerve down. that van's a rockin', don't come a knockin'. reading. stereo system. A A state of the art time close college athletics at by. Big college campus free parking. Payne Gymnasium. And of course, Don't let this opportunity pass you by. m of their Finally, I'm just waiting for someone to take one paint job Saturday afternoons and do some gnarly on this van. Then tow it down to a local auto shop and the job will be done. Ladies and gentlemen, I Doo give you the new Mystery Mobile from Scooby near Westminster a to fame. Coming soon activity you. There it is kids. Isn't parking at Westminster at such a premium that we should move this van if only to open how else is the up one extra space? Seriously,Forum writers the personal administration going to give were we promised? But on top of all that, parking spaces this van boggles the mind. Why is it here? Why hasn't it left yet? Why isn't someone proudly driving this automobile around? If somebody has any idea, please let me know. It's been driving me crazy for months now. I'm sure there is a good reason; I just have no idea what it could be. It was real fun this week kids, and keep looking to the about that. skies. That's all I have to say |