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Show THE SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, October 1, 2003 - Any clever parent will easily recognize this as, Im sorry for Page 20 Marking time by eating Eating is central to our lives and is a good way to mark time as you grow older. The stages vary drastically. When young, you eat strained baby food. As teen- a three h a m their mouth. Stage Six: My favorite stage, the child is now a teenager. First note that the teenager is flying through the door with as much subtlety as a tank knocking over a wall. The first words out of their mouth are, Thanks for waiting for me. -- burger s be hungry an hour later. - again - I was talking with my friends. thrown, but never do they actually put the vegetable in never actually at dinner. They almost always come ager, you can eat and being late The second words from the teenagers mouth are along the line of, Ughhhh. This stuff stinks. I hate this stuff. Are those onions? You know I hate onions. I'll just eat cereal. Did anyone call? I need to call my friend that I just finished talking to that made me late again so I can find out when OK? we will chat Stage Seven: This stage is now marked by what you on-lin- e, DONT get to eat. Your wife helps you, because she loves you, by trying to feed you lettuce that has been dried out to remove the water, and even nothing remotely enjoyable like Pork Rinds, or beef sticks, or ranch dressing on French fries. Your life is over. The best you can hope for is escaping with your friends and eating like pigs in a buffet line. When you go to the restaurant and order, ribs, dont eat the strained beef potatoes with extra gravy, some stuffing, and moose steak. broth or strained The strained applesauce is still tracks your loving wife will Of course, as you age you will find yourself turning food down because, I cant have any of those: they give me gas. There are several stages. Stage One: The first stage of eating is when you have nice candle lit dinners and you t spouses plate. Often your wife crinkles her nose at you. 2000 Ford Supercab 4WD 2001 Ford Ranger 4WD Supercab F-2- 50 $19,993 XLT 4-D- I Pkg, 7.3 Powerstroke Diesel, Manual A Cruise, Power Locks, Windows, Alum Wheels, Sliding Rear Window, Tow Pkg, Nerf Bars Keyless Entry 2002 Dodge Dakota Quad Cab 4WD 18,893 AC, AMFM AC, Cassette f Power Locks, Power 5.9 V8, Auto, SLT Pkg, & CD, Tilt, Cruise, Power Locks, Windows, Power Seat, Power Windows, Alum Wheels, Nerf Bars Alum Wheels, Tow Pkg, Keyless Entry experience, she is quick to respond to the smallest squeak from the child. Stage Three: The child is one year old and learning to eat food. What makes this stage unique is the fact that everyone has to clap and make noise whenever the kid actually eats any food. The second distinguishing feature is CD, Tilt, Wheels, Off Road Pkg, 6 Disc CD, Tilt, Cruise, I Cassette & Power Locks, Power Auto, restaurant AC, Pkg, Auto, Power Windows, Alum 2002 Ford Explorer Sport Trac 4WD - R Tilt, Cruise, Cassette, i XLT 03P0171 f Transmission, AMFM n others okav. I Sometimes, you even feed each other and frequently you save the last bite for your spouse. This is so cute. You will the T-bo- ne U Uith&air! affectionately share your remember this stage fondly. Stage Two: Your next stage is when you have a baby. You are excited at first, but after the rirst couple of months of no sleep and feeding the baby every 30 minutes, the excitement turns to whose idea was this anyway? blame game. You can usually see stains on the parents shoulders where the baby burped. This stage is distinguished by mother and child covered with a small blanket. The mother never actually gets to eat her food warm, as the child has a built-itimer so that as food soon as her arrives, the is baby starving. Because the mother does not want to ruin correct you and say, What he really wants is a salad, with dressing on the side, some water, and do you have any low fat plain yogurt with fresh fruit. Then she crinkles her nose at you and says as she pats your bulbous stomach, We gotta watch our figures these days, dont we?" Stage Eight: You are now old and back to eating baby food. Even though desperate, still 1996 Chevrolet 4WD Tahoe LT 1996 Ford Explorer 4WD XLT 4-D- 4.0. Auto, AC, AMFM Cassette, 6 Disc that the mother usually makes a game out of eating. She has to make noise such as an airplane or car and the food goes from the bowl in a very R 5.7 V8, Auto, AC, AMFM CD, Tilt, Cassette, Tilt, Cruise, Power Locks, Cruise, Power Locks, Power Windows, Power Power Windows, Power Seat, Alum Wheels, i - .. Seat, , Alum Wheels, Tow Luggage Rack, Running Pkg, Luggage Rack, Boards Leather circular path to the childs mouth. The food is often baby that comes in jars. Dont eat the strained beef broth or strained steak. The strained applesauce is okay. food Stage Four: This is when the child is two years old. This stage is distinguished by food being everywhere except in the childs mouth. Often, food is used in the hair similar to a styling gel. Because the child is exerting independence, most likely there is a fight at every meal. It is good to own a dog at this point in life so he can lick the floor and child clean. I hear dog saliva cures an assortment of ailments. Stage Five: The child is now elementary school m4WD 5.3, Auto, 4.0, 5 Speed, AC, AMFM Cassette, Tilt, Cruise, Alum AMFM Tilt, Wheels, F&R AC, Cassette & CD, Cruise, Power Locks, Power Windows, Power Hard Top Seats, Alum Wheels, Onstar, Tow Pkg, Luggage Rack, Nerf Bars, Power Sunroof. Leather and only 17K Miles D& Certified USED VEHICLES TNf RIGHT WAT TWf RiGH CAR age. Vegetables are to be avoided or put in their milk carton or 2002 Chevrolet Tahoe 2001 Jeep Wrangler Sport 4WD T-bo- ne Plus tax. title fee A $67 50 dealer handling 127 KEEYEH RflOYORS.gW. N. Broadway, Corlez 970-565-34- 21 n Th( OiGMT Certified USED VEHICLES wat Tw Right CAR |