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Show THE SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, JVly view , my cave communication with Torres my by Gary Multi-Taskin- It is not uncommon to see a woman bouncing a baby on her hip, talking on the phone, loading the dishwasher, cooking g a bottle, lunch, the dog out, answering letting the door, writing a grocery list, helping with a merit badge, teaching her toddler to color in the lines, and talking to the Schwann Man all at the same micro-wavin- time. It is also the norm to see them do this all day (which, by the way, really makes us men tired). So why is it that women and men cant? Well, for starters, if women could only do one thing at a time, they would never get their work done. They have more things to do than time to do it in. I have seen their work list, and frankly, it is longer than a mans list. They have more things to hold than arms to hold them with. How are they expected to bring in the baby, hold their multi-tas- k toddlers hand, carry three bags of groceries, hold the mail in between their teeth, open the door, kick the dog out of the way, and get to the ringing phone? If evolution really worked, women would have at least four arms. Sometimes, when I am sitting in my lawn chair, waiting for the car to break down, a pipe to get a leak, or the roof shingles to blow away (all of which are on my list of jobs), I have often thought they need some help. I think that is why women can multi-tasbecause they have to. Men dont multi-tas- k very well, so instead we switch channels. We like to do one thing at a time and then move on. You will note that I did not say we do one thing at a time, finish it, then move on. Often we start out well enough, but somewhere along the line, we get bored and want to switch channels. Most of you have probably experienced this when watching TV with us. The most common complaint heard around our house is, Cant we just watch one program until it is finished? The answer to this is, No! We cant. I dont know why. The last relationship book k, I read suggested that be- tween the sexes. So here goes. My wife leaves me to baby g Switching Channels that July 28, 1999 - Page 8 No problem... I can do this... until I get bored, then I want to switch channels. So, I go do something else. sit. Of course, she always seems to drive up at the worst possible time. She gets out of the car, asks, What are you doing? is going? I think that he might have a general idea; like he wants to visit a few of his favorite fire hydrants, but other than that, it is kinda open. I mean, if he finds an old dead carcass, he might stop to roll around in it for a bit. If he runs into a buddy he might play tag or just brag some about how many fire hydrants he has just visited. Well, the same goes for a man, he generally knows where he is going, but he might stop at a few places I mean really. It seems along the way until he gets pretty obvious. I want to say, bored, then he wants to What the heck does it look switch channels and move like Im doing? Im trying to on. Women sometimes think bum ants with a match and an that we are more complicated aerosol hairspray can. At the than that, but we are not. time, it seemed like a good use One last example: Computof both my time and her hair ers used to be really big and spray.. really boring, but then Bill Instead... since I know Im in Gates got an idea to put a retrouble, I say, Nuuthhingg. mote control on the computer, Then she asks, Wheres the and poof, he is a Zillion-airbaby? I respond with, Whose Let me explain, with Winbaby? But I think to myself dows you can have many difthat she should know. After ferent programs running at all, she is the one that left him one time. This, of course, is esin the tub - bathing - an hour sentially like a remote control e. ago. Another example: My wife says, Weed this garden. Seems simple: pull a few weeds; leave the corn and tomatoes for the deer; put the tools away when finished. But then I get bored and want to switch channels and so the male instinct to go somewhere kicks in. I get in the truck and drive off. My wife looks out the window and wonders, Where is he going? Of course, I dont tell her where I am going. I dont know where I am going. Her next thought is, When will he be back? but that depends on where I am going. Which, we have already established... I dont have a clue. Ive tried to explain this to my wife. She should think of this as the equivalent of letting our dog out in the morning. He is happy to be out, it is sunny, and the world looks so invit- for your computer.. .so you can switch channels. If you get bored with this program, you simply switch to another, work on that for a minute... get bored with that, switch and play a game for a few minutes, get bored with that... work on your family history for a minute, get bored with that... check your get bored with that... surf the Internet- for a minute, get bored with that... get back to writing this column. I gotta go... Im - Uh-O- h, switching channels. Weather 33 O O cr to o C 3 CL o o rr m CD PAUL R. 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