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Show mEGLER SePS It mgiirn. JJL II g By DONALD It. BRANN Pegler Released by WJRJ Features I Vets Get Snubbed I said to I the guy, I want a hamburger, re, on roll, and a slice of pickle." didnt say anything about any Joppy slaw or old kitchen garbage 0 now look at what you get the jread all soppy and the hamburger coked like a heel come off some-jod- ' SAID. ys I shoe. RARE, ER "HAMBURG- SAID, PLEASE," AND ALL I SAID. pulled up at a place on 87th and j said on the sign behind the coun-j- r, Two pork chops and French so I put a little bet on that nes, number and they must have been cleaning out back there the way it came back. They should have sent it to me in the bucket, not on a plate. i Dirty old dead lettuce combed out of fciv ie sink or somewheres, and scraps tching fotf cabbage and tomato and some little Sun-0u- r, yellow slop for mayonnaise o gay andimnung all over a couple of dumb ework. :ork chops like fishing something j, brighterowned 0ut of a pond. em 7200, What is the matter, anyway? 6 Inches eep throwing this mess at . people when you tell them abso-- hamburger maSutely yu want whether its rare, medium rare or hamburger well, but saili anythin5 about clean-1-R 2(al10 n send on nner be NAMEmf RN NUM- What are they trying to save, the ost of the guy to come around What am I a ,ith the collection? ab or something, scabbing the b on the boys in the department sanitation and garbage removal they can lay off 40 or 50 hardening American citizens. Are ey trying to get me to eat it up r them instead, by dumping all at old dead slaw on a mans ham-irgwhen you distinctly say, I ist want a hamburger, rare, with 11 pickle? LOOK AT THAT, WILL YOU, I uOOK AT THAT. It doesn.t make a Others of difference particle writw. a even if you tie a Are egister. f :hange Different string around yourfinger so you rememto say, and none of your ; ier g loppy old kitchen leavings, either, because I positively want just !rce,.1.8 sBi , like whether its a fried gg on white or a rye. Is there some kind of a -ew law you arent allowed to eat decent meal in the United States ipermtsndentf America any more? oapital. Hoi If you go into a department store you say, I want a suit of size 36, long in the pants, j ledium sleeves in a pin stripe, ral3 bag at3 they 60 back 'nto k U swings id haul out all the old rags and i frame, from the alteration departul re locked ncraps Wide, 6nent and old stockings and drawers ht 45 Poundi throw them at you and say, .equeat Here is your pin stripe suit, the ji.so eae.ay we always serve it? Well, yes, 1.00 ew Then do they say, maybe it is a 40 instead of a 36 1 like you asked for but that is our blue plate special for this Cltr 4. Ut week and if you dont like it well, where do you think you at the Park Lane or somewhere? Particular, arent you? Then does the owner say you .suited the dizzy little dope of a rampet probably got her mind a a date with some Bill of Rights iancing student because you take look at the waist and you say, Jadam, if you dont mind, this is size 40 pants and I asked for 36. ut with these bums a hamburger ire means whatever you get and 1 you dont like it, well, now, 'nend, just keep your nasty temper nder controL Or suppose you If Is Say you want a living room set f Couch, chair, anspecialty ERl How, other chair, china at homo t t of paia oset, rug and framed picture of r th? proVe r Longfellow like when you were mazed at ttci school. You say, I want this DRoctai'omt-- n I want that and I want red w label on this one and mixed a that, but they absolutely just ouldnt think of driving up a 'nk wagon and dumping a load f old rusty springs and horse-ai- r and busted old kitchen chairs ad tell you its the specialty of ie house and thats the way they ways serve living-roosuites their store. And if you dont it, well just the same, keep fke tempo, big boy, BECAUSE IS THE SPECIALTY, ou would suppose it would be the same about hamburgers WAY Dr Anything, but no wonder those Europeans and the Chinaman and them think we ought to feed Hli 'hem for nothing forever when very day of the world all over he United States we waste food Cold slaw. Scraps of dumb cabbage. Sink-watmayonnaise and downhearted old sloppy not even good for tlirow-- i , '?NalnS. dumped all over whatever it "as you ordered. And if you id -- rare it will look like a 1 jundcr and if you said well done" J will be still mooing for Us JHATS I . ice-bo- - er so-e- Studio-nd-so- se iLothes, i wvvJare ' elief i i m 1 er 21 tiff. COS New Method Simplifies Building Modern Yerslon of Old Fashioned Lawn Swing fi 11 'eat brook SAT IS ALL liuild It From A Pattern r best-like- nary young representative from Indiana, has now risen to the esteemed Job of house Republican majority leader and can give lessons on how to win enemies and alienate peo- f A s J V ple. Halleek recently kept three repre- sentatives pf veterans organizations cooling their heels two hours In his outer office, then gave them the - your -- hurry treatment His callers John Williamson of the Veterans of Foreign Wars, Francis Sullivan of the Disabled American Vets and Robert McLaughlin of AMVETS wanted to find out why the house leadership was blocking various vet measures, and brought with them a pamphlet, written by Gen. Bonner Fellers, former publicity adviser to General MacArthur and now veterans adviser to the Republican national committee. The pamphlet boasted what the G. O. P. congress had done for You could drive a team through some of the loopholes In this document, asserted Williamson. Actually, this congress so far has been noted for what it hasnt done for veterans. General Fellers apparently had such a tough time making up a list of accomplishments that he included the army-nav- y merger bill. That didnt help war vets, and theres a question that the merger has done the army and navy any good. In fact, when you get down to cases, continued the VFW spokesman, this congress has done absolutely nothing about even the most urgent kind of veterans legislation, such as bills for the relief of widows, orphans and disabled vets. Halleek grunted impatiently as he looked through the Fellers booklet: We cant do everything. Its 500 million dollars for this, and more millions for something else, and 1300 million dollars for federal aid to education He stopped suddenly and looked at Williamson, inquiring: I understand the vets want that, also." the VFW Yes, sir, replied le spokesman. is My organization tor the education bill. The G. O. P. leader promised to take up the vets question with the Republican steering committee, jumped up, opened his office door and invited his callers out. the United States has only a mild interest in the coming Olympic games to be held this summer in London. It has been taken for granted that the U. S. will mop up again as usuaL Even mora so this time, with our athletes well-fe- d and most other competitors reportedly underfed. So if we wnn, well, why not? The United States team should win in a romp. It shouldnt be even close. It should be no contest Thats the WORKING FATHER... Mrs. Doris early setup. No credit if you win-pr- etty to was her first Bigger congratulate awful if you lose. he was named hubby, George, after Worker Father of the Year by At the Berlin games in 1936, we the Ford Motor company. George had several talks with trainers and works in Ford plant at Edgewater, coaches and star athletes from other N. J., lives in Gloster, N. J. nations. Here was their verdict: The United States is a nation of acrobats not athletes. You cant win from 409 meters and on beyond this distance. You have no runners with any stamina-runn- ers who can travel a mile and longer. You are marvelous acrobats-li- ke circus performers. You can sprint and pole vault and hurdle. These are all acrobatics. They make no demand on stamina or courage." It still takes an athlete to run and jump. The answer is that we have won too seldom at testing distances. We have no runners from the mile to the marathon worth naming. ' Once again, well probably win I the pole vault rated a feat of acrobatics and not the work of an athBMbWic i.iAuiaa lUftUAc , lete by foreign nations. It is cerSHOPPING . . . She used to be ncn tainly on the easier side than it U rietta Boggs of Birmingham, Ala., to get ready for 1,500 or 5,000 or but now shes Mrs. Jose Figueres, 10,000 meters. wife of the president of Costa Rica. The U. S. has never been much In the U. S. on a shopping 6pree to in stamina whirh is interested outfit the presidential mansion In more important than speed. even San Jose, Mrs. Figueres sighed: Speed gives out quickly. Stamina Seven years ago when I went to carries you all the way through. visit my aunt and uncle in Costa When you sift all the angles, the Rica I didnt guess Id one day be the wife of the president. United States hasnt done nearly as well as our ballyhoo experts have figured out the case. Without our Negro stars, this country would have been something of a joke. In place of mopping up In London, we still can be something of joke despite the winning edge we have in food, the main basis of condition. j We have every advantage this way. It will be interesting to sea what we can do with it SO "4HARLIE HALLECK, who used to he one of the d members of congress when he was an ordi- ... ANOTHER CONSPICUOUS FIRST For the first time in history women, outside of the medical services, are a permanent part of U. S. armed forces. The heads of the womens service groups are shown at the Pentagon building following a conference with Defense Secretary James Forrestal. Left to right are: Capt. Joy Bright Hancock USNR, director of the Waves; Col. Mary A. Hallaren, director of the Wacs; Col. Geraldine P. May, director of the Wafs (Women in the Air Force) and MaJ. Julia E. Hamblet, director of marine corps women. f fli w nr: i 4 p- - ... ENTERTAINMENT WITII STRINGS ATTACHED For reasons of morale and entertainment, American soldiers In Japan are taking up six-fobows like experts archery. Some of them already are twanging under the guidance of one of the worlds leading archers, Toshisuke Nasu, whose school in Tokyo the army has taken over. To lend the authentic sporting touch the GIs line up for a picture clad in what the Japanese archer is supposed to wear, and any resemblance to Robin Rood is strictly from hunger. The gent with his back turned is Nasu. the Instructor. .Uii r ot r $ Stars Miss Big Shoio . HI rt P. FRIENDS of the lobby tried a smart, maneuver to try to block the real-esta- 'Wy - te . . . William T. Far-icpresident of the Association of American Railroads, emphatically denied an assertion by Robert Young, chairman of the board of the Chesapeake and Ohio railroad and stormy petrel of the industry, that those who run the railroads are withholding steel from their own roads because of their interests in other industries. RAILROADER last-minu- te housing bilL Noticing that only four or five Democratic members of the house banking and currency committee were present, G. O. P. Congressman Clarence Kilburn of Malone, N. Y, quickly moved to report out the Wolcott bill minus public housing, slum clearance and other humanitarian features of the original bill. Representative Boggs of Louisiana and Mike Monroney of Oklahoma jumped into action, rounded up Democratic colleagues and all were on hand to help defeat the Kilburn motion. 14 to 13, with the support of three Republicans Hull of Wisconsin, Stratton of Illinois and Scott of Pennsylvania. G. O. P. Congressman Frank Sund-stroof East Orange, N. J, then moved that loans to farm housing be deleted. This put Scott, a city man from Philadelphia, on the spot. But Scott fooled his G. O. P. colpresent, thus leagues by voting defeating the motion by a tie vote. Again, Republicans Hull and Stratton, both with many farm voters, voted with the Democrats. However the desperate Republicans didnt give up. Representative John Kunkel of Harrisburg, Pa., demanded a reconsideration of the vote, Rank Has Its Privileges NOW THAT THE DRAFT and a big army are on the way back, the Doolittle report and the caste system should be taken out and dusted off. What officers dont always realize is that enlisted men resent ths special privilege system sometimes y, - nn-- tfTV post-seaso- all-tim- h A ,A Cooperslown. Rube Waddell, f ik I 1 h 1 fK O I ... The philosophy of TIIEIR FIRST FULL MEAL IN FIVE WEEKS es most soldiers Is not to volunteer for anything and eat all you can. men, however, broke both those cardinal rules when they volunteered life-ra- ft to take part in a five week survival ration test conducted under ration conditions which allowed them only 900 calories a day.to Here their looking, as they sat down they are shown, gaunt and hungry man weight first full meal at the conclusion of the experiment One 158 to 133 and dropped from 183 to 154 pounds, another skidded from a third went from 140 to 113 pounds. U - Itt 4 is. &UyiA DIET . . . Doctors have combpd their beards and brains over the strange case of this healthy looking Yang Mci. She girl, claims she hasnt eaten in nine years. Yang Mel was piaeed under medical observation In Chungking for 19 days and she still didnt eat. ytJ SfSsS , ' a world series natural, had his lone chance in 1905 when he suffered an Injured shoulSo the der in a train scuffle. Mathewson - Waddell duel never came off. That would have been up in the super class, the motion picture colossal stuff. Still many stars have made the world series grade Mathewson, Alexander, Cobb, Ruth, Collins, Jack-son, Hornsby, Grove, Wagner, Brown, Kling, Plank, Coombs, Bender, Johnson, Wood, Fox, Fritsch, Dizzy Dean, Cochrane, Dickey, too many more to mention. It would be nice to see Feller and a few more stars, who have never made the big show, slip under the tent and mmgle with the elephants. In the middleweight boxing dimy nomination for the top man Is Bob Fitzsimmons. Fitz was middleweight champion, champion and heavyweight champion. He was a brilliant boxer, lie was also a terrific puncher. Fit broke seven bones In both hands pumhlng Jeffries in their second fight. He almost ripped Jeffs face away from bis head. But he couldnt knock out the Jeffries of that period. No one else could. And tills Inrludes Jack Johnson who whipped a half-bal- Most officers in the Pentagon, 'e Missing Eye Provides C!ua In Arresting Purse Stealer Mrs. Dora PHILADELPHIA. Baker, 49, was arrested on a charge of purse stealing, Frank Grube, a railroad detective, had no trouble recognizing her. The owner of the purse, Mrs. Bessie Ehmann, a nurse, of Alden, had provided the necessary clue. Mrs. Baker has only one eye. Her right eye, blind since biith, was removed three weeks previously. Appearing before Magistrate Benjamin Schwartz, Mrs Baker testified that her handicap had led her to steal. I cant get work with only one eye," she said. I had to steal to live. The $10 taken from Mrs. purse, she told the court, went to pay overdue room rent. Mrs. Ehmann asked that the charges be dropped. Magistrate Schwartz turned Mrs. Baker over to municipal court. Perhaps they can provide an artificial eye," he said, sympathetand straighten out your ically, troubles." ns I SUNBURN?, QUICK RELIEF WITH M E NTH G LATUM COOLS. SOOTHES., EASES BURNING PAIN HEOTTHQLATUM Cap Brvih Applicator HACK IMF 40 MUCH NEV AWHINGS Patio Covers the nun's beat and glarn out of your Kfp honit Make your outl'xr area colorful iblel lop qualcool, nmtlrn, and mou' pnj ity custom imule Awnmj,, fallo and Tr r ira Cov m rfireft to you . . at low coat, frailly InnlHltn). We alao furnish irovtra i r iwn furniture, etc , and Hamboj, and Wnte for full woven wood port h ihad information and free h irnpie.,. stale color choice. O it Dept WN Infjtilrita Invited CALIFOJt n I A Ifr vi A AWNING CO bunnyvale, California liiu wti O Thousands that makes folks sleep all night! now sleep undisturbed because of the news that their being awakened night alter ch Diplit might he from bl mdr irrtlahon, kulnev l t s hope sol i hat s a condition frolry er blad-dPills unuaily allay within 24 hours hince irritation is so prevalent and fr oley Pills so potent, frolev Pills must benefit you within 24 tours or DuUBLL YOU It MOM Y PACK, Make 24 hour teat Get frolev I ills from drug- hull sattsiaoUon or DOlbUu 10NLY BACK. ,r& vision ht who was In fat, fading no shape to fight anybody. I saw Jcffncs training for the Johnson fight in 1910. He was pitiful lie was a long way from the Jeffries I knew in 1903. old-lim- Frank Calx, who Is taking lessons In the art of rutting hair at the Salvation Army family servlre bureau in the Bronx, N. Y., did his homework on his daughter Margaret, 8, But to her its shear torture. n AIRCCT Uiese cattle A FLYING ARK . . . Destined for farms In Italy, DC-- 4 at La airlines Western and Seaboard a aboard driven are being that to replenish to help flown were Y. Italy N. Guardia field, They P Ia wrthe during countrys livestock, dangerously depleted iekens ment were seven bulls, two heifer., 50 pigs, 16 white leghorn atch valued and five dogs. The shipment, one of many such. LOADING . . . J moL.s J a jusr GO PARTHft f DASH IM ff ATHfRS ORaSPRSADnONUROOSTS Fitzsimmons Is Tops bitterly. for instance, dont realize that G.I.s are griped over the $03,000 underground officers club which Is open to officers for play during duty hours. What was once underground storage space has been converted Into a sports palace, equipped with modem lavishly facilities for bowling, basketball, badminton, volley ball, handball Devices for exerand ping-poncising flagging muscles and a heat room for sweat baths also have bren installed. Those who prefer less strenuous sport can sip cocktails In the "pink room in a setting of soft lights and pastel hues. Like any cocktail lounge, it is furnchH vuth a television set, stieambncd bm nd enjoining kitchen. Pattern Simplifies Building The Lawn Swing is easy to build. No special tools or skill are required. The Full Size pattern offered below provides all the Information needed to buv the materials, cut and assemble the swing. All materials specified are stock size and are now readily available at most lumber yards. Trace, Saw and Assemhie Its as easy as that. The pattern provides a full size, painted paper outline of each component part of the swing. Trace each piece on the lumber specified, saw and assemble. Wherever two pieces are Joined, their exact location is shown on the pattern. All holts and screw holes are also shown. Youll have fun building this swing and lots more fun using it. Send 50c for Lawn Swing Fattem No. 155 to Fasl-BiPattern Company, Dept. W, rieasantllle, N. Y. too many P ifi G. O. One world series weakness is that stars had no chance to show at the big show. Napoleon Lajoie, one of the greatest, never was seen in this classic. And he was something to see, the most graceful ballplayer that ever lived. And one of the games greatest natural hitters. Waller Johnson came to his first world series when he was on his way over the mystic hilL The earlier Walter Johnson would have joined Mathewson with three shutouts. Bob Feller has never bad a world scries appearance, and Feller also Is Just about over the top. Feller came to Cleveland 12 years ago and he has been pouring that fast ball through for a long time. The navy also took three or four of his best years. The navy caught him at his peak and held him a long time. Also after returning to baseball, Feller has given a good part of his time to outside , Interests, which hasnt helped his baseball But ht still would bv a shining spot in any n championship. Feller ii e one of the greats. He won't have to bother about his spot at well-dresse- d Politics Infra-Committ- FAR :n :fJ |