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Show 4 THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE, SUNDAY MORNING, JUNE 24, 16 1923. ADES FABLE OF THE STERN . ri PARENT WHO TURNED DOWN THREE DIFFERENT VARIETIES By GEOEGE ADE One there " 1 headed H hai,t been too busy 'Juket lat tTvtng t niitke the from one Saturday Night to another The only Time he got real cabby was when he told how he uiwd to work for J6 a W e k and plant lft0 a year m the Building and "J.oan Aneoclation ears unce they It had been inanv took hie Boiled Dinners awav from him and made him- - eat Sweetbreads, but he was still a farmer And when they threw him into the long lAili'tl legslii with the misfit Tie he had Yap ten lied all over him-- i bator Period Fa- ther who had taken the Junior into the Downtown Office and was trying ts eradicate the Greek and la- tin from bin Svetem. 8 on would hate preferred a position without Office Hour, aav Chairman of the Shipping Board or Member of the Interstate Commerce Commiaeion ami but Dad waa ery unreasonable -not eeem w peremptory andoundid aiid Boy rrnwins a aime that of U needs "a lot of Het4n M the Morning. ' iSB) ALL SIZES u If YEAR after year each Steason has brought a Buick cars. shortage Your aler ought to be able to sup-- , ply you. If not, we can. of & Present indications are that history will repeat itself. Cheap Grad of Wlfo who hasn't got the ; d Appearance : Strikingly Beautfiul Dependability : Unusual Non-Ski- d Efficiency: Close to Perfection Economy: Great of the Outfit tied to a Tree." 1 ou nmv take. nm of these self-mad- e Luminaries and wean him awav from his Pie and rub him with Silk Underwear for ear, but von cannot tically useless. waa a Ixtvely Chap Iron the Lines of Hugged Character The Junior wbofte Clothe came to about twice his from his Frontispiei e or sparat him the Ifomelv lo trines that were Salary. He resetnbled the smooth- from faced Hero of a Cuatom Taller Adver- called to his Attention hv means of a HUkorv hi Cad some forty ears arlier Hair glued tisement. By keeping down and wearing the "right shape of in the Game in tdr napping Consequently, the Cellar, likewise holding up hla endhad dale did not hit it off 'to anv large light-weigConversation, he into the Extent with Bertie Friends mot of managed to elbow his wayDivision of whom had their Name in the ni etv Front Row of that Select Hut the Humane Race known aa the Column 3o Daxs In the Year Landed Gentry, because they get not one of them could have figured a 2 per cent Discount unless he had Lknded so often, was the taken a Ditv off Thx did not care Bertrand Klapptngdale never Name of this partliular Confection for Business hut Business i known waa as he Our Set Bertie, seemed to Languish muh on their and among the Employees at the Shop Account One of the Hard Jobs that Fate h was known as a Goof Bert's Pathwav in Ufaex had been so hnd mapped out for Flappingdale had one Senior, was to prevent his blue-eye- d ery nicely Lubricated and and been so awfully Good to him that Offspring from being aluiuttcd heir felt reasonably Certain that snaked awav to the Altar J he Trouthe Earth and the Fullness thereof ble was that Bertie wanted to be AbAbout every hang of the had been dished up specially for his ducted Benefit and he eould cancel the Or- Moon he would htfrm to ait more or alless Dippv and cut out Ihe Offh der any time he saw Fit had never together and gn Girl Hunting in his Senior, Flapplngdate. cream-colored Then the Roadster smoked Egyptian Cigarettes and attended Junior Proms during his Incu- - head of the Works would have to call So A mighty good Saxophone player waa demoted to the rank of Employee and the Smoking Jacket became prac- hr Touring $1065 Roadster $1065 Coup $1475 Sedan $1495 Auto Co., Ltd. Randall-Dod- d lUJCK IMSTimUTORS. 47-5- 1 South Second East St. Phone Wasatch 4560. him in and put some Cracked Ic on him and get him cooled down The first one to lav him out and have him Fluttering was a about six weeks from the NurseN-Th- o d Guvnor begged him not to rob the Cradle, and wanted to know something about her KnowD edge of Housekeeping, which is inYoung variably a Miff Jolt for Dream lxvs Special Touring $1220 Special Coape $1625 Special Sedan $1695 Print a Diom. Tax Earn JHUiW SIE PAIGE BUILT Her Jewett Special a dream to drive Dependable care free and confident Away the goa In her Jewett Special. She say it a dream to drive- - so simple ahe didnt have to learn how. Never has she stalled the motor nor Jerked the car ao smooth the Paige type dutch. Neves hae her Jewett failed to do her bidding to certain its performance. Up most any hill on high thanks to Jewett's motor. Around corners in traffic at 2 miles an hour never a thought oi changing gears. Out of congestion in a ji3y. From 5 to 25 mik an hour in 7 ' seconds in high gear. Jewett is nimble, quick on its feet, obedient a wonderful Paige-bui- lt six, at the price of a fourl 1 Youll never worry over your loved ones fa s Jewett, because Jewett is Paige built. Paige Timken axle front and rear. Paige-bui- lt motor. Paige-typ-e dutch and transmission. Jewett is the only moderate size car built by a maker of finest quality cara. Thousands o, families are enjoying the confidence Ibis brings. Women are always comfortable in the -- -- Wasatch384 thSaeMin Father hlNl brief ('hat with the Wren one evening and got a lot of rich dope onl Valentino, of whom he It never had heard up to that time occurred to him that the simplest wav out of the Situation was for him to go to a Department Store and buy k the cheap Gun. and kill one or ivoth of deHouaehold but Mother Pets, murred, and told him to wait a while and possibly the Debutante would die from smoking Cigarettes While Bertrand wax xvaiang for a Chance to elope with the Bud. a New Show cam 4o Town, and there sipped across the Horizon of his Fresh Young Life a Baby who wore Hobs In the Stage cverv Evening doing a refined South tea Inland very Number From the moment when he looked up at her and saw that she had taken notice of his Presence on Earth, he passed into a Sweet Trance and decided that it would he great Fun to have an actress for a Wife He cut a Picture from the Photogravure Section and wore it in his Card Case. Finally he met the had manv Divinity and the things to talk about, as she had met several of his Fraternity Brothers in a ( liege Town of which she had fortold her It was gotten the Name. a Sn all World and from that Toint the Conversation became more general in Its Scope The courtship xns canned on under difficulties, as there was alwavs an Orchestra- - playing about eight feet awav, but exerthmg looked favorable, as she was accepting Jewelr, with manv expressions of Delight Then the Troupe left town, just as Flappmgdale. Sr. was arranging to have a Commission of Lunacy sit on the Case Bert saw the Red Light disappear in the Railway Yards and realized that he had played his Violets on the Wrong Number, for she had whis- pered to him. on parting, that she was msrried to the Advance Agents The Busv trover always goes from one Extreme to another, so the next ('rack out of the Box what dot Brash Bertie do but get himself all worked up to a temperature of 104 oxer the kind that is known as Temblv Bright The on he was determined to Marrv. unless somebody got out an Injunction, sat around in an kind of Mother Hubbard and handed out Brilliant Prattle that was good enough to be taken down in Shorthand and put right into a Book She on Helpless threw her Search-Ligh- t Bertrand and daxaled him to a Flop She got him into a Corner and told him of the Yearnings of her Sou! and all about herFrr.ptv Life and how she had groped for an Affinity, and Although he muffed a good manv of her Out Curves, he realized that he was in the Presence of one who would take him hv the Hand and show him lot of Things that he had nevpr been wise to aa Yet So he wanted to marry her and ait around all Day with hi Head m hT Shoulder anti haxe her talk Copv. worth about b centa a Word. Father noticed that he waa off his Feed and looking wild out of the Eyes, so h called him in and wanted to know the name of the New une Cut it out said he. when he had Home learned the Horrible Truth ! I dont not a Lecture Bureau blame anv Man for marrying a Woman who has got the intellectual In these Davs of Bulge on him Thursday Afternoon Cluba and Reading Circle, it's a Cheap Grade of Wife who hasnt got the of the Outfit tied to a Try Nearly every Woman knows more than her Huband. but it helps some if he has enough Gray Matter to ename him to chip in now and then. If onlv to give her the right Cues But 30 years would he a long Time to ait at one end- of Room Table feeling about the aiae of a Roach ! have known several specimens of the Victim who marries the Woman who is going to lead him on aim on Rhe leads him on and on until he begins to Blow, and then she usually goes on and on with something wearing Ribbons on his If 1 j yo t nh'.uH marry aomron, .of I Of shout, mv own Mental falihar soft-sho- e Nimble Intermountain Distributor Smooth Complete heavy enough to ride smoothly over all roads 200 pounds heavier than any car of its size cradled on extra long springs. Seat cushions are soft; body positions just d right. Upholstery is Spanish leather, of special colors to match the car. Men point with pride to Jewett's motor, e, with its hollow crank-shaoiling system like the big Paige. It sends 2 gallons of oil a minute through all main and connecting-ro- d bearing. Makes smooth, quiet operation; assures long life and small upkeep. Jewett Special is complete. Nickeled spring bumpers from and rear. Nickehplated radiator and motometer. All nickel, barrel-typ- e headlights and side lamps. Extra cord tire, tube, rim and cover, mounted at sid& Trunk rack and trunk. Body guardrails. Automatic stop-ligh- t. Automatic windshield wiper. Rear vision mirror. Sun visor. Jewett Special is truly a dream to drive. Let "her" decide after a demonstration. You'll find no equal to Jewett Special 'round $4200. Jewett. Ic is hand-crushe- high-pressur- ft course, you may have to hunt for a long time, but when you locate her xou can tell that she is the Right Kind Any one who will agree to u is in vour Class, and you Marrv can gamble on that. haxe tried the Innocent Young Thing. The Sophisticated Trouper, and Cultured Club Girl, and you kick on all of them, said Bertrand. are Nice all They said Mr Girls, Let's wait until we FTapplngdal spot one who needs the chastening influence of a Great Somr and then we will put up a Good Joke on her MORAL It Is a Wise Father who can diagnose his own Mistakes 1 (Copyright. bx the 12. cate. Inc ) d SUPERIOR MOtOR COMPANY ig Distributor. 52 WEST FOURTH SOUTH STREET. tvO , fA OF MR CONOCO most contented motorist in six states ! Bell Syndi- Dairy Special Schedule tor Idaho Is Complete to The Tribune. IOCATELIM), Idaho, June 23 The Idaho schedule for the Wlaconsin-M.nnesot- a dairy special has been and the train will leave Butte the morning of July 1.' The train will be composed of a car of fine dairy cattle of various breeds, a Pullman car, Special and attendants (ontainmg speaker the brooders association representing of Wisconsin and Minnesota and other states, and a Wo accompanying cars of representatives of Idaho and the Union Pacific railroad. The list of leading dairy authorities the special includes J. accompanying C Robinson, fweskient of the Wisconsin livestock Breeders' association, Reid Murray, secretary of the association. Karl Musser, secretary of the American Guernsey club; C. L. secretary of the Ayrshire Breeders association. I. L Oldham, secretary of the Holstein Friesian sodation. and J. C. McDowell of the dairy division of the United States department of agriculture. Governor U C. Moore will likely accompany the tram during the tour of this state. The dairv special will visit cities In Idaho on the following dates July 1, Dubois Roberts and Idaho Falls: July 2 Rigby, Rexburg and 8L Anthonv; Julv 3. Ahton, Victor and Driggs; Jdly 4. Blackfoot. Arco and Mackay; July Rupert, Burley. Twin Falls and Buhl July , Jerome, Wendell. Blii and Mountain Home; July 7, Welter, Fayette, Ontario. Parma. Jolv I. Nampa. Caldwell and Boise; July 9 Gooding Shoshone and Halley; July 10 Montpelier. Grace, Pocatello, Mc- Cammon and Ikwney. On July 11 the will tram visit Brigham CUv, Wells-Mil- e. Richmond and Logan, Utah, and on Julv 12. Ogden, Farmington, Mur rax (TrVl Provo. Utah. -- Ero-rr.- Many Attend Johnson Reunion at Springvlle -- , REVELATIONS to The THbose. SPRLNGVTLLE, Jpoe 23. A reunion of the Johnson family was held in Ma Special ton yesterday afternoon and evening about ! persons attending The following program was given In the chapel, under the direction of D. Howard Johnson of alt Lake, toastmaster Selection, Mapleton band, solo. Mi Jessie Johnson, genealogy. Mrs. Floyd Miner: Spanish dance. Miss Teas Hiss reminiscences, Moses Johnson: selection. Map! ton male quartet; original poem Aaron Johnson. Following the program the guests repaired to the amusement halt, where a picnic and general visiting were pi ,, CH$e f ACTORY Triton. g pec 11 to The ENCAROSD. a The H RUPRRT. Idaho. June F. Lnabs Cheese company has pur chased the local cheese factory. The company has ordered a new vat with a capacity of fM0ft pounds, giving the factory a capacity of 14, Oh pounds of milk. This factory Is a splendid success and the patrons are making frum their milk. profit Far be it from me about the quick ajid mileage TO boast getting these days. Naturally, I think pretty pick-u- p well of my car but candor compels me to hand a fair 9 share of credit to the gas Im using. If you havent tried Conoco well, your car hasnt had the chance to show itself, thats all! Conoco has a constant horsepower equivalent that you can rely on. It gets the full power your motor was designed to give. Whats more, it does all the other things you expect of a good gasoline instant and the full quota of miles per start, 'quick pick-u- p gallon., "No fancy frills about Conoco, either just clean, de- - y pendable, nicely balanced fuel that keeps the carbu-- retor happy even on a thin mixture. One .point, particularly, that I appreciate afiout Conoco is that its available in practically every town and city in these mountain states. THE CONTINENTAL OIL COMPANY Colorado A Corporstjoo ) line of high-gra- Mtrkttifig a complete petroleum products in Colorado, Wyoming, Hew Mexico, Utah, Idaho and Montana Car Censes Ceicpon Boot. "They are concenienl and loot yoa time and making change. Good at all Continental Service Siaitone and accepted by dealert generally |