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Show THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE, SUNDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER 14 . BALKS AT KNICKERS FOR WOMEN Lardner Asks Ladies to Emulate Men and Dress for Beauty, Ratter Than Comfort. a " ' - ip-tit s..eU..tsietee! - 3, 1922. 'i r jr jp ... By RENO W. LARDNER. IfJTO DEEP PIT Precipitous Fall of Mark Fear for What . Creates May Happen This Winter To the editor: I read a story in the papers the other day In regard to a woman that wa going to make a tour around the world In knickerbockers so a to ahow the independence of American womens and I thought to myself et the time that if she looked like the most of the fair sex who I have saw wadetng around In that costume this summer, why ahe won't half to go no such a distance to be Independent' because as far a, I am consented she to a free agent right now and I know of a whole lot of other gents that feels the same way. theory which seems to be held by the women folks of today in gen. namely that they are Justified In fixing themselfs up any wey they feel like as long ee its makes them more comfortable Irregard-lesof sbpearances. This Ja the theory that brought on the boubed hair epidemic which has probably done more towards breaking up America's grandest lnatitutlon the home then all the golf clubs end gin combined. The gals may try to kid themaelfs and ua that getting rid of their braids haa enhanced their beauty, but outaide of Mr. Zlegfeld'e chorus I aint seen more than 4 or 6 married women who bobbing their , Aimotuacement The T. W. & L. O. Naylor Co., distributors of Studebaker automobiles, was reincorporated September 1 as the T. W. NAYLOR CO, Mr. L. O. Naylor has sold out his interests and retired frbm the business. The official personnel of the company as now constituted is as follows: By SIR PHILIP GIBBS. 'Special table to" The Salt Lake Tribune. BERLIN. Sept. S. Germany la slipping rapidly Into the deep pit of International bankruptcy. In Berlin, where I write thle article, every German is panic atricken ?by the precipitous fall of the mark, and laska what will happen to hie country thle winter. That question Is answered not 'only by Germ ana but by Rrltiah and American bualnese men, with one sinister word revolution. By that they mean bread riots, social disorder and a tidal wave of anarchy Impelled by the hungry masse They see no way of escape from eoonomlo collapse and social upheaval, whatever happens, for Germany by ltd a own 'fault or not has fallen Inttv-uc- h rotten financial condition that her diseases can only be cured by a remedy which would cause an immense amount of suffering. That remedy the only one la to restrict the issue of paper money. For the last three years the German government has met all her financial troubles by speeding up the printing presses to make notea Her issue of these notes has reached figures beyond the imagination of ordinary mortal. They are astronomical figures, reckoned In milliards. For some time this Inflation of paper money created the illusion of prosperity and enabled German manufacturers to prices in world compete at markets. Cheap money prevented unstimulus feverish a and gave employment to industry. But every time new issues of notes flooded Germany, the value and purchasing power declInetPinside and outPrices rose, end to side the country. catch up with them wages had to be Increased. Then began the whirling of a New notes were issued j vicious circle. I to pay Increased wages and the coat of degovernment. Again paper moneyneedcreased In value. Again more waif ed to buy the same amount of goods or service. jL; . iSirtUUltiivllii til It rr - T. W. NAYLOR, President CHESTER N. WEAVER, Vice President. Also president of the Chester N. Weaver Co. of 8an Francisco, est distributor of Studebaker cars in the West. , larg- ' LEO P. GRUNBAUM, Treasurer ' Alao President of Merchants Security Co. of Ban Francisco. j . i JOHN B. BURNHAM, Secretary FRED TADJE, Assistant Secretary With the acquisition of new capital the company is now in a more secure financial condition than ever before in its history. It will hereafter handle its own paper and be in a position otherwise to meet the full requirements of its patrons.-- The Companys territory includes Utah, Idaho, Southeast Oregon, Eastern Nevada and Western Wyoming. cut-thro- at Note Issues Multiply. It beAgain note Issues multiplied came a mad dance, a financial Jass, round and round like a dog Chasing its talL Then the reality of economic law challenged sanity. Germany has had to buy 28 per cent of Its grain supplies from abroad. 8h haa had, to buy from for-- J sign, countries raw material for cloth-jln- g her people. She la buying one mil, lion tone of eoal .weekly from England. She Is buying meat from America. She cannot pay for these things In false pamoney. Foreign exchangee reduce per nsr marks to their- - true value, now standing, as I write, at about fourteen hundred to the dollar, nearly six thousand to the English pound. This means disaster of great magnitude. . So far this may be seen at Berlin. There are few eigne of poverty apparent. there Is pleasure even In the resend public eafaa, theaters taurant The masse and middle class 'places. have this irolk paper money to epend, 'and epend it with prodigal hands. It j would be foolish to be thrifty, for what la the use of saving marks when from one day to another, even from one hour to another, their value drops like stones bumping down hill? It to better to epend quickly, to buy fast, before prices rtaa Mr. L. P. Grunbaum, President, and Mr. John S. Parker, Vice President, of the Merchants Security Co, have just completed a survey of the companys facilities, stocks and general opportunity; They authorized an aggressive selling policy and left for the Coast enthusiastic for the future. certain gals who yon can moan 100 per cent because of course they look at them in any kind of a get up and Now please don't get the ideal that 1 1 hair hasn't made them more laughable. Th earns is true in regards to knickgot arty moral scrapples vs. womens rhvmea with dressing themselfs up lik their masters ers which aptly enougn because that would be far from the truth nicker. They ain't no question that but what I got objections to to how they skirt hamper a person In walking or look after doing same and when I aay golfing or tennis or what not, but at lease they I dont .mean 100 per cent becauee ll of the ladles becomes comical when of course they' certain gala who you can look at them in any kind of a get up and still ksep looking at them. Further and more I am against the even If doubled or trebled they era at 111 ridiculous In foreign exchange. The other night I gave a dinner party at a good hotel to five friends We bad blip, fish, mat, Ice, eoffea And two bottles of Rhine wine. The little affair cost two dollar, wRh a handsome tip to the waiter. Taxi drivers multiply the figure on their docks fifty times in a few days. It wlU be eighty times but even then one can drive a mile for fifty cents. Railway traveling costa next to nothing for foreigners whose money Is good. I wont yesterday to Wanness beautiful lake eight miles from Berlin. It oust me, second class four oenta. Amarioan ladles in Berlin are buying fur coats, art treasures trinkets of all kinds at half and a third the pries In Now Heavily. .People Buy York, although they are charged three I reached Cologne one night when times aa much as Germans marks had fallen heavily in exchange Bread Roll Ten Marks. rates. The railway station was crowded with bumble folk who had come back from But what about these prices for the country markets laden with foodstuff They are enorwhich they had bought before prices rose. Germans themselves! Women, girls and young boys staggered mous. In spite of the rapid' printing of down the platforms under heavy burdens paper money. A email roll of bread, ten of potatoes, meat, cheese, pant mark,'- - A cheap utt of clothes eight wood, and atuff for frocks. In Berlin thousand or ten thousand marks The there was a wild rush to the big stores workingman gets now an average wage before prices were marked up again. of fifteen hundred to two thousand marks They were marked up quickly. Foreign- weekly. How to he going to buy milk for ers who swarm Berlin are International hia children, clothes for himself and vultures who prey on the diseased body family? It to not easy arithmetic, but of the European nations; rich tourist somehow or other he works it out and from America find Berlin a happy hunt- leave himself a margin for amusement. Middle-clas- s ing ground. Inoreased prices, which hit folk these summer Germans hard, mean nothing to them, for are out In a swarm in the pleasure days gar- - You1 re as old as is strain fatal to Eye nerves and that gives tired, drawn look that denotes approaching age. Then, too, it makes one irritable, forgetful prevents sleep, causes indigestion, to say nothing of frequent headaches. as o com- Stop Paper Money. CONSULTATION IS FREE AT EITHER STORE X- - I saw what happened In Austria. The Germans ar going the same way If she goes all th way. It Is not only Germany ruined, but th greater part of Europe. What can. she do to save herself! Only on thing, and that She must stop printing money and gradually deflate her currency. Other .nations a, which hav dons so, like Switzerland, Holland, Italy and Enhav gland, steadily Improved their rat of exchange. By reducing the circulation of note br 0 per cent, Improved her exchange value by 89 per cent. That Is a tremendous lesson to Germany. But the risks ere also t remend oua Directly Germany cuts down her not Issuea her peopi will find It hard to get enough paper money. Wages will bar to go down before prices go down. Industrial activity will be restricted for lack of capital. There will be suffering. But though the remedy to severe and full of peril for th social state of Germany, It to better than certain ruin wMola otherwise will overtake her. A dangerous adventure Is better than Inevitable death to the nation as well as Individual. That Is Germany e Csecho-Slo-vak- ' 276 Main St. - 118 South State. Salt Lake City Distributors of Studebaker Cars. Successors to T. W. & L 0, Naylor Co. as s they loom up in garments which was Intended by Nature for the bass cleft. I dont expect to get away with this statement without a, few squawks from th other sld and they will probably ay that wlls knickers and pruned hair and etc. Is comfortable why they are also becoming and they certainly wouldn't wear them If they wasnt and no woman would sacrifice their looks for the sake of ease. Well if they wouldn't, what about the female rideing habit which I trust they ain't nobody so brasen as to clam that it le wore aa a ornament. But maybe the women folk will say, why of course they have got a right to look any way they d m please so long ka they feelG.K, becauee th men folks goes along on the same system. Well the answer to that Is that the men folks dont do no such a thing. If the men folks was not anxious to always look their best In spite of discomforts you wouldnt never hear of one of them shaveing until their beards triped them up In the t- - and they eertalnlv wouldn't ba no such a thing In the world a t a high collar. No indeed ladles the male sex suffer the torture of the damn d in order to look handsome and to prove this to your-seltatl as yoli half toUo Ts try on one of, the uniforms which to wore by our soldier boys and ask yourselfs how would you live to live In them things all the yr. around. Another thing that goes a long ways towards provelng my contention to the custumes wore by th boy that referee prize fight and I don't know what the styles to out west and down south but here In 9f. Y. and New Jersey why you dont never see a referee step Into the ring without he to got up In a white silk shirt, white flannel pants snd white shoes. no physical tornot be Now they may ments broughten op by that garb but how about th mental anguish which know from experience that the boy must go through becaue .even when I et dreseed up In those kind of drapery cant help from thinking to myself all the wile what If I should spill a drop of chocolate Ice cream and even If I am nothing, Just lucky enough to not plll thinking about It I he 11 In every sens of th wd. The shoe and shirt dont make so much difference but the pant 1 fatal at leas her on Long Island wher the cleaner fixes them In euch a way that when they oam beck you can use them only for book mark. Now then can anybody question th referee make martyr of themself for the sake of art when they aint a chance In the world of them getting through a whole bo fight without being plashed from head to ft. with blood, perspiration and other knick knack Men also carrvs their heroism to the golf course by discarding th long, loose trouser which they r use to wearing and going around In short brech which bind you et th knee beside makelng you keep changetng from sox to tock-ln- g nd vice versa all day long and all in order so a to not hid their ealfs from admlrelng feminity. Long pant on the links now days a rara avia as the French have It and In fact they' onlv great golfer I knew of that still sticks to them, namely Percy Hammond. Jim Berne and myself. I havent no defense to offer for Berov, and dim. but pereonly will attest that aint deprlvelng th world of no pleasure by keeping mv teg under cover and I may as well take tht opportunity of denying that It wa on their sect, that I wa signed up by th Zlegfsld Follle. In feet th only time I ever ventured th. In knickers my legs, we all bit up file- - who evidently thought I by hors was a hors. However w ar getting far away from th subject which to that I wlehed th women folk weuld think twice before they go any further towards independence snd that at leas a few of them would emulate that noble piece of work called Man and continue to beautify the world at th expert of comfort. RING W. LARDNER. V i Great Neck. Long leland. Sept. 4 (Copyright, IMJ, by- - the Bell Syndi- , cat Inc.) during the month of August than any other intermountaiu dealer has ever sold in any August since, the Ford has been on the market! A significant record! Covev-Ballar- d 75 New Ford Cars and 46 Used Ford Cars v Sold and Delivered by tht in August Covey-Balla- rd The highest record for any previous month of August was 52 Fords sold and delivered, and this mark was made during the peak of war times,. The fig- ures speak for themselves. They speak this language: It pays to deal with - Covey-Ballar- d. . Five Distinct Advantages Are Yours . When You Become a hely la Fill Term Starts, Fall term at Henager'l BuslneeW CoUeg College office Tuesday, Sept. by the McClure N ews-- open all dv fiaturdav and (Monday for (Copyright, enrollment of student. paper Syndicate) (Advt.) alternative More Ford cars sold and delivered by Customer ' Covey-Ballar-d i 1 Caecho-Slova-kl- SCHUBACH OPTICAL CO, Dr. Landmesser. ruinous price. which will be Vastly Increased, because workmen will demand a new scale to meet new prices during the next few weeks without another vast Issue of paper money which Instantly fling th mark further to' the depths. We will fit your eyes perfectly, and save you money. If you do not need glasses we will frankly tell you so. 105 Main St. : at Intellectually eh to already shut up a cage. Her professor, writers and students cannot buy foreign book Even newspaper cannot afford to pay for news If It means keeping foreign ents abroad. It Is Impossible correspondfor her to pay the reparations unlees the mark rises In International value. It to Impossible for her to pay her wage bill In If You Need Glasses TWO STORES dens, like the Tier garden In Berlin or the wood and lakes at Potsdam and Grunewald and Wannsee. The women are pretty and neatly dreseed, the children ar beautiful to eee: they are certainly well fed and happy. There Is aTso visible "wealth In Germany. The streets are crowded with splendid automobiles. Th new rich are yachting, as I aaw them yesterday, In a chain of lakes upon whose hank thev have -- oral villas and lovely flower gardens. "What in hidden. poverty exist Germany People living on dividends and small fortune before the war are now ruined because of the downfall of the mark. and Young professional, Intellectuals writers of all kinds have to stmt and crape. I went home with one yesterday; he told me hts class Is stricken. That Is no doubt true. but. broadly speaking. I believe there to less distress at the moment In Germany than In Enruin stares Gergland. Nevertheless, many in the eyes and draw close. The ground is slipping beneath the highly organised and complicated Industrial state. When the crash comes It will be colossal. For Germany to not nor cannot be. She must import raw material in order to export m an u factored good a and the time has already coma when she oannot buy these Imports with She must buy great nuan-tltlpaper money. of food and fueL She can only do Lt Dr. Landmesser or Dr. Keller (at either Schhbaeh Optical Store) examine your eyes as only experts can test out the muscles and advise you how to secure fortable, easy vision. In fact th only time I ever ventured 4th in knickers my legs was all bit up by horse fliea, who evidently thought I was a horse. Ruin"Draws Close. MUSCLE TESTS - Lss 1 Your Eyes Dr. Heller. T. W. Naylor Go. dont start I We handle our own deferred payment contracts. 2. We handle all our ijwn trade-ins- . 1. We are now building a new $250,000 home for your-- convenience. 4. We have the ONLY factory reboring, rebabbitting and reburaishing machin' , ery between Denver and the Coast. 5.Ask ns about this pain.' You can start to own a Ford by paying $5 down. 3. " Place your order NOW if you want prompt delivery. Main Office 001 Bor State. ' Was. 384- - Used Car Division: 551 So. State. Was. 2765. Lincoln Branch 502 So. Main. ' f Was. 5773. |