OCR Text |
Show 2, 192l7 The Merry Tale of the Thirty-si- x Adams, the King ofCursers, and His Waterloo v Hs u a bad mao. a bad but hs ACK 8AURIOL was not only man, bad reached that atato of iniquity whero ba gloried in bla badneaa . and took pride in bis Infamy.. For in i bla earlier days Black Sauniol had been a lumberjack and a river runner on the Ottawa, and there, having labori-oual- y established bia fame aa a blaspha-raateu- r, he bad come to be known aa the King of the Cursor Now, in the old day every crib or raft of timber that drifted down the Ottawa carried what waa known an ita professional curier. hen one crib overtook another a repreaantatva of eacV rival crew waa poated on some point at vantage, and there, as the two floating worlds of Umber raced toward a common destination, the duly appointed "cursera" engaged in a duel of vituperation. There, sometimes Tor an hour at a time, the startled river valley would echo with antiphonal volleya of execration and anathema, with barrage after barrage of abprofanity, ingenious and struse and humorous, un tram moled and diabolioal. Yet this, oddly enough. implied no 111 feeling between the two' sets of men. It was merely adventurous spirits, drunk with tbs joy of oxiatenco, giving vent to that animalism which3 work and rough life made raaUve rough in their bodies. So when Black Sauriol oame to' the little village of Sancerre be came with a sinister crown on bia swarthy brow and a torso. alight awagger to his Ho openly boasted that ba could outcurse In man Ha entertained Ontario. any groups about the doorway of hia "forgeron by his novel and offhanded vituperative feats. He loudly proclaimed himself, within bearing of the g ure, aa a brims and hell-be- nt of a saccatier. And later in he still more loudly and.abandor.edly aimed the cure's chime of "bells. But befdra, you can fully understand this chime of bells you rfust know a trifle more about both tna village of Sancarta and the cure who watched over its wel- trick-muscl- wide-mouth- J y V J' and of tbs alien faith of ths Plymouth brethren, who had been thrown Into the vasty deep and left la the valley of the shadow of death by their carefree and thoughtleaa pursuit ef a mud turtle! The little eura who translated Ovid In his idltmotnenta and had written a monograph on the Greek Meilo poets had overlooked the mixed metaphors and had forgiven the speech. And he had always been inordinately proud of that large and authoritative silver watch. In It he reposed a faith that seemed as Immovable as the broken vane at the top of his glided belfry, the sullenly optimistic vans that forever pointed due west for fair and settled weather. But a watch is a watch, and the wheels of this timepiece of silver, so ornately overscrolled, being only the fruit of human effort, progressed and tarried- - and progressed again, as spasmodically as tho eloquence of the good mayor who had delivered himself of that long since historlo speech. For, sometimes, alackaday, . these wheels lagged, and sometimes they hurried, fairhaste. It seemed, Indeed, with ly purring to have chills and fever, Ilka so many of the cure's own flock along, ths lower Llsotte. But It was a beautiful watch, with Its jewel mounting, fairly and plainly to tha naked eya, on tha pivot bearing where the Jiair spring turned. And it had never been known to stop! Not oncel And there lay a proof of Its constancy. It had lost and gained, it had secretly tarried and surreptitiously hurried, but it had never openly confounded the simple faith of its owner. You will have to taka still another look at - Sancerre, however, before you clearly see what this meant to the little parish. Tha first thing you will notice will be the big gray church, standing sentinel-lik- e above the rest of the village. not strictly the hour of And they went to bed sometimes rising. lata and sometimes aarly it all depended on the chimes But Black Sauriol, the "blasphemateur" from the Ottawa, never learned to lightly this free and easy Juggling with Father Time. Lay by day and Month by month ha anathematised tha bells of Per Phillips and hurled maledictions at the church, and wholeheartedly cursed the little cure himself. Pere Phillips, it Is true, went to reason with. Black Sauriol. went casually and quietly and commended the blacksmith's adeptnean in welding a "caretts" axle and admitted that as a forger of oaths he waa even more adept than aa a of iron. This led to much talk aa toforger the meaning and significance of most oaths, which the cure held to be but the fossils of a lost religion. There must bo holiness at tha of all blasphemy, Just as background whits paper must stand behind the printed word, otherwise it would be a thing of no weight, argued Father It was obvious, therefore, that Phlllipe. Black profanity merely curtained a spirit of much grace. Just aa his scarred and smoke-staine- d leather apron covered a body of much strength. But Black Raurtol would have none of this. Sacrebleu! he I am a blasphemateur and proclaimed. I am proud of It. On all the Ottawa there wa no man who could curse as I could. I am the king of tha cursera And I shall go on with It, Father Phlllipe. until your milksop parish can giv. birth to a better one!' It was excellent to excel, admitted the little cure, and Sauriol' attitude was not without reason. Even Holy Writ recorded how Black, the son of Zipper, sent messengers for Balaam that the lattor might come and purse the who were advancing to rob themIsraelite!, of their - aa-ce- Sau-rlo- ... tone-eatin- l's of before, with ' Latin name moat of them, aa long aa tha arm of Black Sauriol hlmaelf. Ths man in tho forgeron" noted these ha mads his anthings and patterned, as vil ring, haw and mors complicated anathema Ha patterned them, like the no Immeartist ha was, proudly, yet for new oaths Ha evolved diate purpose. with with all the patience and precision n wrought-trowhich he evolved tha hinges of scroll work . for , the rehabilitated oaken door of the vestry. He airily fashioned them and tossed them aside. Utile dreaming that the day for unearthing them was so close at hand. For, being what might be called a newcomer to Sancerre, ha had not learned that there waa one day of the year, and one day only, when the honest husband men of the aurroundli country overrode his village and the children of the seemed to get the better of Pere Phlllipe. Annually this occasion arrived on what was known In the vaguer hinterland as Orangemen's day, when tha valiant youth of the county put en their yellow badges, and flaunting silk aprons, dragged out their banner of King William , out-land- i la little more than a stanza of old French lost on a page of ' workaday English prose, a little parish where It appears to be always afternoon, where the dusty gold of uncounted yesterdays seems tft tint and tarnish the quiet fields, where even the cottage eaves hang low. and heavy over the quiet windows. Ilka tired lids over contented eyes. For nothing is ever done in a burry in this little town that curls like a gray and whits kitten among a sheltering elbow of the river Llsotte. Everything is calm and leisured, from the springiest charette that brings the mall, to the small-bodiNormandy geese that feed on the terrain vague behind ita double row of Lombardy poplars. For nearly three generations the busier hewers and sowers of the surrounding country have called Sancerre and unprogreeslve. The little whitewashed village In turn has held Itself placidly aloof from the newer raoe which hems It. in closer and ' closer as the years go by.-Invaded The rattlw-o-f --the the land; but the harvesters of Sancerre still swung the cradle and scythe, and girls still followed them with rakes. The clatter of tractors echoed from lordlier demesnes, but blocky teams whose progenitors one carried mailed knights at Agtnoourt still pulled the plows of Sancerre. And ths newer race pretended to have no love for its mongrel "patois,"-- for- - its herbs and fruits and flowers, unlike any other horb and fruit and flower In. aU Ontario. They laughed at SancSrrea dicattle and scoffed at minutive hia stunted perennials whose parent roots came up the St. Lawrence over three centuries ago, and at its whitewash, and at its craiy chime of bells. Yes, above all, the chimes! For It was ths chimes that first set not qnly Black Sauriol, but also the surrounding countryside, against the cure. Yet the actual root of the evil did not lay In the euro, who wished no man for his enemy. Ho was a kindly and tolerant man. and, above all things, he desired peace in his parish. But the cure of Sancerre was not unlike 'the saints, who, it is recorded, are not without their trivial weaknesses. Ho was accused of being overfrugal In his habits of life, a certain surtout" which he affected having been followed down the seasons during Its transmu-- tation from black to bottle green and from , bottle green to a sooty "verd ds Gris.. He "waa also addicted to the use of snuff. And he was known to cherish certain bottles in his cellar, well cobwebbed capped with resin and reputed, to bold fabulously antiquated wines but 4n the dispensation of these he was, as Michel Laroqua, the boisselier,' put It, no tonneau pereer. Ha was further reputed to be sadly out of touch with the modern world, although he could claim a brother who lived In Lea Etats Unis' where, as old Mere Baroque often enough explained, da cow ' milk, de well water, de lamp, da fire, everyt'ing, come on de 'ousa t'rough de lettle Iron 'pipe.1 iWhat was more, however, he was given to worldly pride In mere worldly possessions It was a warping and unreasoning pride, as you will very quickly see, now that wa find ourselves back at the chimes again. For the root of all the evil In connection with these chimes lay in a timepiece of heavily chased silver, a large and authoritative timepiece, carried about under the faded green surtout of the little priest, who never dreamed of the viper, aa It were, b waa nursing in his breast. , He would have resented the use of the word "viper,1 in fact, in the same breath that spoke of that unparalleled silver timepiece, with his full name running like a cucumber vine across the back of tha case. For had not the mayor of Yhe county seat, with the council of Cham-bor- o in state assembled, presented it to the cure, together with an address in which he dilated on the heroism of a mere simple-minde- d priest, a priest who had risked his life so thundered- the rotund and oratorical mayor to rescue these little onee he pointed dramatically to the nine d and uncomfortable children ranged like so many ninepins on the platform behind him from an overturned picnic boat and a watery grave la the Llsotte! These Innocent children, be It remembered, of the alien town of Chamboro es self-bind- er ed ld ( 5 i f wide-eye- Tha littlo cars ftroJm katwoon Me tM gitmta and with At men hand anttgh at tha uprmtood tanging ttmeh Samriot cwms fe a peon. ' rT 1 High above the clustering whitewashed of waving top and Jjlgh above theand the Lombardy poplars maples willow of crow the glimmered great gold, catching (ha first light of tha morneveand ing reflecting ths last glow of ning. Under ths glimmering cross ths habitants of Sancerre sought their religion and abiding beauty in life, found their music and poetry and dreams. From the voice that echoed down ita aisles they drank In their schooling and their aspiration. And from the chimes that sounded from ths belfry they took their time. The bells broke the morning stillness, clear and sweet and silvery, and the pigeons wheeled about Ihe lighting cross and all Sancerre awakened. The angelus drifted out across tha evening fields, and all Sancerre knew that ita day of toll waa one more oyer and don It roe and ate, and went to its trim little gardens, and sought Its riverside and labored in Its fields, and vineyard remembered its prayer and trooped down ths narrow, dusty roads to vespers, and turned homeward, and went to bed again, and grew old and Sled all to the ringing of the chimes it loved so well. But thew chimes were controlled by the little cure, and the cure was controlled, In turn, by that beautiful silver watch with tha full name running like a cucumber vine across Its case. And it was A watch Is a useless to expostulate. watch. And the church was a church, and must be obeyed. So the good people of 6ancerre rose at times when it wa . lands., But that waa in the days of fare. And the people of Sancerre were a gentle people, and. when confronted by conditions which they could not comprehend. perhaps unjustly given to hasty conclusions. What do I careY contended Black Baurlol. SaprlBti! I am the emperor of all oathmake-s- . It is the one world where I reign. And It makes pleasure for md to know that none can stand beside me. My oaths are to me what your bees ary to you. You have hives and hives of them, and are proud of them. They give you much honey, and you say they do not harm. luvarm But, tonnere, how in other folks' orchards and theythe little ones who would drive themsting out of their ye gardens!" Ss nothing much came of the little cure's conferences m the forgeron," and Black Sauriol would turn to the ribald songs of 'the crib drivers while Father would proceed Phlllipe disconsolately down to the Llsotte and sigh heavily under the polled window and then search furtively among the bulrushes for ths jointed bamboo pole which ha kept hidden there, for he had spent his childhood on the lower 3t- - Lawrence, and that love of casting a line into rippling grsen water was bred in his bones. So many a day, early In the morning and late in th evening, he Went stealing down to tha LIzotte like a guilty schoolboy. This 'might have been overlooked, it Is true, but It was common talk throughout the countryside that he treated bia bait with divers secret medications, since year in and year out he carried home strings of fish when the efforts of honest laymen were rewarded by little more than a . scrawny parch or an Indifferent These laymen, ot course, knew little as to how so many of those (ish, along with dishes of honey and diminutive bottle, of home-mamu-lcat- SYRUP PEPSIN IN OLD AGE Mach used by elderly V people for constipation, biliousness, headaches, etc. " T ANY men and women, ss ' they grow older, suffer constantly from little ills. The cause is the poisons produced by chronic constipation, result--. lag in headaches, depression, bloating, sour stomach, bad breath, etc. A single bottle of Dr. Caldwells Syrup Pepsin win prove to yon that you can so regulate yourself that elimi- nation will occur promptly every day. Increased doses are not necessary. It is a combination of Egyptian Senna and other simple laxative herbs with pepsin. The cost is only about a cent a dose. fn spite of the fact that Dr. -Caldwells Syrup Pepsin hat been on the market 30 years -- sweat-staine- -- pro-pos- -- . Sauriol and that irresponsible army ot merrymakers once cam together. And a change took place In th little cure. Th timorotis figure which had retreated to the grape arbor suddenly emerged from Its shelter. He came forth at th precis moment that the challenged Butcher Brannigan, sniffing th aroma ot battle, sought to divest himself of hls baas. drum d and bis carrying harness. He strode between the two giants snd with his own hand caught at the upraised Just what words he flanging hammer. said to that maddened and menacing child ot Vulcan, the wearers of the orange never knew, aa they .ngver quit knew the Imminence of the danger from which he was delivering them. But as his words tang clear and warning above the cheers of the crowd amt the Inflammatory belof Butcher Brannigan, Black lowing Sauriol came to a pause, surrendered hia weapon, and even tell back a step or two. But there he stopped, arrested by a not unfamiliar cadence or two ot provocative blasphemy from bia opponent. And that waa the spark which set fire to th tinder. That was th touch which loosed Fha floodgates of his pent-u- p anger. That was th spur which goaded him Into a of h knew to be ths power which parade peculiarly his own. They might stop him from fighting, but they could not stop him from talking; They might hold back hia hand, but they could not hold back hia tongue. And he stood there, in hia d apron, calling down strange and unheard-o- f malediction on the head of the slightly bewildered Butcher Brannigan, flaying him with intricate and incredibly Involved Imprecation cursing him and hls progenitors and hls unborn progeny with a passion snd an unbroken flow of sulphurous Invective which left the invaders at first startled and then spellbound. Especially it seemed to daae th colossal drummer, who as a sailor of old prided himself on sums alight knowledge of th art of lnvectlv He first stared, snd then wiped hls dusty forehead, and then retreated round-eye- d into the ranks of hls follower And Black Sauriol, seeing that they were on the move again, sent after them one final and Incomparable volley of execration, watched them as they psssijAwondertngly bnvond the reach of hls voitm; and then strode back to his smithy with a light of triumph on hia cindered face. The tumult died down;, th pigeons circled once more about the quiet beltry; and Mere Frechette proceeded to put her trampled donryard in order again. Th little cure himself, as was his frequent 'habit after any such hour of diswent off for th quieting experience afternoon fishing along th banks of the Llxotte. There, In the cool shadow amid th whisper of the willow leaves and ths wagentle lapping of the breeze-stirre- d ter, he regained hls serenity of body and peace of mind, forgetting the world snd Its tangled ways, forgetting even the ineluctable passing of the hour until the approach of evening warned him that It was high time to taco horn snd his official duties. And homeward the placid little cure would have gone, only the arrival of the steamer Emmllln at ths landing warned him that he might sttll again be thrown In with hls anemle returning from Chamboro and now sending the notes of their fife snd drum echoing across the Bo quiet river to Point aux Trembles. he tarried along th upper river bank, sheltering himself discreetly behind s little clump of elderberry bushes, until, as he hoped, they would marchon unseeing and unheeded. But this the revelers showed no disposition toreturning do. were heated and footand They dusty sore. The evening was sultry, and the water on the pebbly gentle lapping of the shore waa ss seductive as the song of a thousand sirens. A hat was flung into the water, followed by a scuffle along th shallows. And It was then and there that they all go In for a swim. Five minutes later they had made their way up stream, and had taken possession of old Pierre Flscet'a squat little' tile scow. They wrenched open th padlocked door of the cabin and promptly disrobed, leaving the good Pierres mesa table more like an untidy clothiers counter than a place of refection. And five minutes after that again they reappeared In the gathering dusk, taking to th soothing waters with calls and shouts of laughter, swimming and wading snd paddling out to Egg Island, where the tranquil Llsotte was soon threshed and churned and splattered into the assembiance of many miniature maelstroms. r And all might hay gone well had not old Pierre Placet, himself drawn forth by the uproar, come dpwn to the river bank to reconnolter. There he quietly, but indignantly, released hls Invaded tne scow, snd ss quietly and all unpercelved let It. float down th stream until it was lost beyond th bend gnd'twlstg of that sinuous little river. In vain the cure waved and called after in vain he scramthat drifting shadow; bled along the- - bank, over fences and through bushes, until he had lost both hia of fish and hls breath. Night had string come on by this time, and a crisp coolness had crept into the air. Ha saw that the only thing to do was to turn back. With s heavy and troubled heart, the kindly little cure retraced hls steps to the scene of that riverside misadventure. The sight that met hls eyes as he peered apprehensively through the tangled underbrush was a strange one. It wpa that of six and thirty pals and adamic figure huddled together In th dim starlight One further fact also forced Itself on ths attention of the silent onlooker. The great golden fringed banner of William of Orange had been carefully torn into- , strips, some three dozen of them, each piece serving ss an attenuated girdle for that band which, earlier in ths day, had marched so blithely behind the rampant white charger between its tainted poles. The little cur even imagined that he heard th chattering of teeth. Ha was sur that one of the fife boy the youngest member of that dejected gathering, -was weeping aloud. , Now, much Indeed, would I like to be able to relate in this narrative, which flows no mors briskly than the LIzotte itself, that th good curs of Sancerre like the Samaritan of old rushed to the relief of that chilled snd suffering band, without so much as on moment of hesitation, without one Jot of commiseration for his enemie But Father Phillips was not without hls sad enough sense of humor, and it must be regretfully recorded that for an absent-minde- d second or two he down peered appreciatively through th nig?it at that huddled and ghostlike circle. For Father Phillip was fond of hia rose and proud of his garden, snd ss attached to the dignity of his IttUs parish as he was to the Integrity of his own Indifferently youthful bones. And his kneecap was still painful to th touch and hit two finest Com teas de Murinais rose bushes were no mors. Bo the little cure, being compounded of human clay, being, after all, only made up of the frail and wayward stuff of mortality, fought a brier but silent duel with himself there among the whispering elBut in th end his betderberry bushes. ter nature won. .Although he knew hia moment of hesitation, although h experienced a period of Inward and Irrepressible mirth, ha saw tha grim path of followed lt. duty andwas no touch of mockery In hls There vote as he confronted that silent and abashed circle of shivering outcasts. There was no trace of laughter about hia Ups as he ax plained that- the scow Jiad been ferried sway and that H was only In Sancerr that clothing might b found i for them. It was not a time for speechmaking from either aide. So th little cur led them homeward In silence, making his circuitous way toward ths side gats of hls garden, through dark"orchards and silent fields snd deserted lane Across each brook, over every stile, through every hedge, he was followed by that long and silent line of six and thirty figure in the gleaming whit snd spectral-lik- e dim starlight. And once he had them-at- l safely huddled in that very grape arbor where earlier In the dny he had himself sought refuge, he dispatched tothe amazed Mere Frechette from cellar garret for currant wine and blanket and sheets and comforter for table covers and carriage smoke-staine- i fare. v The village itself stlfl By Arthur Stringer wine, went to the sick and feeble from one end of that tiny parish to the other. And even it no, this Father Phlllipe was still a For, mark yon, what can be said tor a cure. In the, days, who gave almost of his morning to the growing of roses? Nor was that all! Many a day be even forgot hia dinner. In the silent contemplation of some new blossom that had corrfe to him from a place called Prevents or In the rapt of some new pink monstrosity that study had once been grown by the Japanese, a and pagan nation, fhuch given to the drinking of tea., A man who would forget his dinner just to watch a rose bush! Then old Mere Frechette, who patched his one and only faded green suit, snd kept his house In order for him. would pound the plowshare swung from th wellpole for th twentieth l dtmndethebees But still the little cure would stand angry." there between hls parterres of color and peras stand there haTiad taken fume, though root, nodding snd sighing pvar hls roses while th rest of th country sweated In the wheat fields end teamed grain, grain for th bread ot life, down th narrow, dusty roads to th market town of Cham-borone-ha- lf light-heart- and is today the largest celling liquid laxative in the world, the formula hat never heen improved upon. It is safer and better for you than calomel, coal purgatives. salts, minerals, tar snd such x drastic . Half Ounce Bottle Free -- - Fn okopt emripodm, m im tfmiooot niub a ioxoiwi ot cki, morawic In aw wad ESS palfounct Trial Boult of Sirup aiUw! FREE OF CHARGE handy when needed. Simply lend your n onto and oddrtts to Dr. W. B Caldwell, Waihmttt a Sc., Mondctlb, IS. Write aw today. tit time,--unti- . On hls placid and sunburned old face, now pebbled with the finest of little wrin. g!e crossing and recrojslng on another, you might see the sere heel of smiles, aa though hia studious eyes between their network of erowsfeet wore sizing up a dosen barrow loads of turnips and carrots to go Into hls cellar for the winter. Instead of spraying and picking, end fussing over rose bushes no on ever beard seated on a white charger, and behind drum and fife marched - through tile streets of Santerre to ths steamboat landing on the Llsotte, where they embarked for Chamboro and a holiday of throbbing drums and parading bands vand fluttering ensign But, ala on the day of which I speak they did not march straight through the streets of Santerre. The shrill of the fifes and tha beat of the drum, as intoxicating as any currant wine aver made by the cure, seemed to get In th blood ot those rugged young giants of tbs hayfleld oft for their holiday. It began by the younger spirits flinging stones at the belfry the belfry from which issued those erratic and haterul chimes. It ended in a volley being discharged at the cure himself aa he gased out on the roistering pnradera with mild and wondering eye Th green apples and the earth clods he could have forgiven and as easily ignored. But when a stone caught him a sharp rap on tha kneebone, h beat a prompt and undignified retreat to th shelter o( bis grape arbor. From there he peered about a shielding post, and beheld, to hia amazement, hls tormentors turned into an invading army, swarming ruthlessly in across hls whitewashed paling What would have been tha outcome ot that invasion Is useless to conjecture But one unthinking youth, having kicked over a beehive, and another having caught sight of the enraged Mere Frechette in the doorway with a kettle of hot water, the advancing tide hesitated and then fall bark. They fell back with the exception ot Butcher Brannigan, tha Goliath of ths band, who had once been a wheelsman on the Great lakes snd could swing a barrel of salt to hls shoulder or bulldog th biggest steer In all the county. So proud ot hls prowess was Butcher Brannigan that he annually and airily paraded hls strength bv carrying both th canopied ensign of William ot Orange and the bast drum, as big ss a well curbing, whereon As the weaklings about he .performed. him hesitated, therefore, he detached himself from their ranks and, amid, shouts of laughter, tore up by the roots two Comtes s de Murinals rose bush already vivid with their white and flesh-tintbud These he promptly snd trifastened to th tasseled banumphantly ner of William of Orange, and th panders wont on their way down the village street, singing, and laughing, and shouting, as oareless youth will. But a strange thing took place that day within - the village of Sancerre, During that brief outbreak the ringing anvil of - ed Black Sauriol had fallen suddenly silent. And ths man of ths forgeron, who had no lovo for th church snd no respect- fpr Its little curs, stepped to hts door- with thunder In his glance. Tl stood six teet three inches of indignant manhood, witassault on ths parochial garnessing the den and th rape of tha parochial rose bushes; Than, with a tightening of th law musflancle h caught up hia ging hammer In hia massive right hand and confronted the enemy that bore down on him to tha shrill of fifes and the lordly pulse of the bass drum, so imperially belabored by Butcher Brannigan. The little cur beheld that Impending collision, and bis blood ran celd. H knew only too well the devils e( blind rage that could take possession of Black Sauriol. He knew what would happen, if long-handl- - ' robe and even for empty bag and an antimacassar or two,grain until the house was stripped a bare as a bon. The kindly old cure have had them all duly covered andmight headed homeward, and the village of Sanaerre might never have known of the misfortune wtiich had befallen its enemies, had not Black Sauriol smoking before his smithy, caught sight, over the garden paling of certain pallid shapes moving furtively about in the sutrlighL He sauntered forth, to investigate. An&iu doing so he cam face to face with the disgruntled Goliath who had earlier In the day both affronted and defied bint.' Now man, when he with apparel, also parts with muchparts of hia authority. He becomes tittle more than ths forked radish of the philosopher, and prefers quietude to conflict. Bo the rotund and gigantic drummer, when he found the mordant and not altogether mirthless eyes of hls enemy upon him In hls nakednes preferred to retire discreetly into th background. It was humiliating to him, aa a man of position and power, to do so, but he seemed to have small choice In the matter. He had already drunk deep of the cup-ohumiliation and he hungered for peace and something more than a potato sack about hls hip bones. And all might still have been well had he chosen that tine of retreat with discretion. But in hls precipitate retirement into th background he earns into violent collision with that beehive which earlier in the day had already been subjected to Unprecedented indigntiie Now the bee, as the cur might have told him, could lay claim to a singular sensitiveness of nature, a mysteriously Inflammatory temper, and a more than human tendency to retaliate for past Th result was that th transgression of the Ureat lakes, aa he giant went earthward with that beehive, found h mseif surrounded by what seemed a tingling aura of indignation, a mist of with unlhumming anger shot through ooked-for barbs of agony. The potato sack which had been given to him merely as a slight fortification against the cold afforded him scant protection from this pertinacious cloud which hung about his large, white body. Then he conceived the idea, in his frenxy, of rolling about to fight off his assailants, ss burning men have been known to fight sff a fire. It was a thrice luckless movement.' A second hire, snd then a third and a fourth were quickly overturned. The gvrating nymph-lik- e figure was enveloped In swarming bee was drenched snd blanketed In them, a A mountain-climbla sometimes overtaken and shut In by clouds. Blindly snd bitterly he fought against them, but the indignities already heaped upon that winged and splrit-lik- e enemy waa great and equally great was his wrath. And It was then that Black -- .. f er from Prseeding Bag Donnelly as a traveling salesman ar th best members tif the supporting company. Th worst performance of tha evening Is that of Mary Shaw In one of her favorite Mr Warren roles. Miss Shaw is a cinema of all tbs things that acting should not be. Another sour affair, already departed thie mundan zphcre.was Personality," by Philip Bartholomae and Jasper E, Brady. -- Written with a club, the play waa without a single merit. It rehashed th old dime-novstory of a starving man who turns burglar and who subsequently turns honest, makes several millions of dollars and ends up by marrying the rich blonde. The language was that of the moving Ths company that presented pictures. this peart waa headed by a bad actor named Bennlson, whose vogue la on of the many things in the world that I cannot comprehend. - Henry E. Dixie overacted the role of a second burglar aa la hia invariable custom. No one else in the aggregation was worth noticing. box-offi- el Attempted Cross Fails. In The Triumph of X, by Carlos Wupperman, we engage an attempt to cross W. Chambers and Eugene Bobqrt Brleux. A treatise on heredity, it relates the manner In which a young girl inherits an overpowering taste for schnapps and then, true to th traditions of the twenty-cemagazines and th stage, goes to the dogs until Love comes around at II o'clock apd redeem her. I seem to aee this play about one a year. It is always ths same. In the present css, the one interesting not is contributed by Miss Helen Menken as the dipsomaniac. This is a telling performance. The chief male role Is in th Imnds of Frank Morga.i, who plays It the way he imagines Lav'd Warfield would play tr. The result is jocose. And yet another tilt. This one Is called "Two It is by Aaron Hoffman and offers th admirable comedian, Bai'nev Bernard, in the star role. The play contains a number of amusing lines and, despit its rote cut, la made diverting by Bernard whenever he is on th stags. Without Bernard It would be nothing; its Ilfs depends upon him. Miss Itarlj Carroll Is attractive In the Ingenue role. The great majority of these plays, as I have already pointed out In these columns, suffer from Imltatlveners. You cc on and you ses a dozen. They are occasionally original m minor details, but the main texture is th old pattern. The theatrical managers curruntjv bewail the badness of the season. It isnt tha season tliat'la bad; It la the plays. nt box-offi- Blocks-Away- ke -- -- bell-beari- little attention to them. Yes. . gentle reader, all cinema folk ar not alike; not any more so than are the neighbors on yotir own particular block. Fortunately fpr all concerned - this swaggering class has been the first to AMUSEMENTS Oaatiassd Sauriol, puffing hia black pip id the pal starlight, gave vsnt to deep and Jove-lllaughter. Th reverberations of it, before th kindly little cura could bring It to a stop, reached even the distracted giant flailing hls huge body with what was left of ths tattered potato sack. It released the dormant volcanoes of indignation, p h'th- erto speechless rebellion against fats which seemed without reason, and with- out justice. And h sat up and cursed as no man. In ail the valley of Lixott had ever cursed before. He hurled impassioned Imprecation upon th cure and hi hives, upon Sanoerr and its bee and Its blacksmith. He anathematized hls friends and hls enemie his forebear and th unborn ' issue of his line, the church, the country, the universe, and his own burning and swollen body. Then he went back to th bees again, and without stint and without hesitation, execrated and banned and proscribed and comminated everything that bore wings and everything that walked and crawled upon the earth. Black Sauriol. as h leaned across the whitewashed palings, side by side with the abashed little cure, listened with wonder in his heart snd bewilderment on hia face. Un artist! he raptly ejaculated, when It waa all over. Sacrebleu, what superb 'blaspheme'! It la matchless, m'steu. And I have been outdone, I am dethroned. I know, now, the second fiddle I all that I might play. And the second fiddle is never enough for Sauriol!'' In the early gray of llie morning the disconsolate cure surveyed the ruins snd that Sancerr ruefully acknowledged would have little honey that season. But down soul in he his knew that a deep kindly aot, freely performed, was sweeter to the memory than any syrup from th Attlo comb ot Hymettus Itself. And before th moon changed Black Sauriol became a meek and attentive listener to the .cube's sermons. He repaired the weather-van- e snd rebolted a loose and publicly proclaimed that Sancerr had the finest chimes in all Ontario. Ar.d morning by placid morning these chimes awakened snd the pigeon fluttered about the glrtded belfry, and th litt'e parish rose and ate snd went to th fields. And again they rang out, and the pigeons stirred snd fluttered about the old tower, snd th Innabitants bent In prayer. And still again the brazen tongues spoke through th gathering dusk, and Sancerre slept. The star glittered above the great golden cross, th cure lovingly wound hls watch of chased silver, the forge-f- ir of the died down, and the quietness of th imlthy, summer night, knowing neither ereed nor rac enfolded ths llttl valley of the LIzotte. (Copyright, 1921, by Arthur Stringer ) .' ly box-offi- SCREEN GOSSIP MAC DONALD is being th "discoverer" of two beauty recipe One of them. says th fair Katherln by the way ot her Is a flvs-cepres agent's typewriter, n cake of carbolic soap rubbed in a finger nail brush. I believe the akin pore should has union hour The other la long walkaw People nowadays don't get enough exercise and walking Is the best I know.' KATHERINE nt worn-dow- feel the effects ot the studio reorganisation plana. A great many of them never again will scintillate on th silver sheet. Scores ot them are now wandering about Hollywood and the beach resort wondering why they are not receiving employment calls from the studios as ot yore. To their dulled intellects there has come no warning that their daya of screen usefulness are over gone never to return unless they reorganise themselves into decent, sane, publicity shunning personages. For only a few there is some Those few are th possessors ot hope. talents which will Incur a return if they have sens enough left to seo th handwriting on ths wall. -- A SWANSON, now In New York, p LORI will return to the Famovi Ptaysrs-Lask- y etudls In Hollywood in rim to be ready for th call ot her director on September I. o the SOPHIE WACHNER, head says sleeves are going to be long and full this winter and that hostesses will have to provide parking pieces for them while their femlnui guests din CHADWICK, HELENEand goldwya beauty, paints pretty llttl colors In addition to her acting. Dorothy davenport to announce not contemplating divorce water has found it that she Is proceedings against her famous husband, Wallie Reid. Wife, BUSTER KEATON and hls assert that seriously tor book a musical have the written they comedy which they hop to hav produced on the stag h' now been ALTHOUGH May Allison month her fan mall ia heavier now than aver before in her screen career. Bhe is sending out photographs in bales in response to requests from admirers in the four cornets of the earth. Many of these same admirers are demanding her return to the screen, but May continues to keep her own counsel as to her future plant. One thing is considered certain by her Hollywood friends, and that Is sh will experience no trouble in getting into th game again la when she ready for the undertaking. pOLLY FREDERICK and her lawyer, George Edwin Joseph, hav suffered an estrangement because of the latter's demand by suit or a large amount ot money for services alleged to have been-, conrendered In getting a Robertaon-Col- e tract for her. ' Polly has retaliated by publishing a in which Joseph series of telegrams shows that be has an unrequited passion for her. , GALLERY la in a challenging The other day It waa golf, ii and now it seems that he and Bert have been occupying th Hollywood hotel tennis courts every Sunday morning for over a year and are ready to challenge the world. They bar pons except love" game TOM Ly-te- NEWS, Los Angsle says: W.LL ROGERS, th lariat star of recent SCREEN'considered screen fame, is now without a foregone conclusion In this particular neck of th woods a press agent, and for that reason very la little being printed shout him In ths that soma day a free lance writer will But Will is of the take hls pen in hand and write th real truth and nothing but the truth about photoplayera of prominence. Out her where people know cinema stars as they know their neighborhood street readeka of newspapers are tiring of th accounts given of their domestic snd professional doing 'With but cinema folks are nd very few exception better or no worse than their neighbor who have no more pep In their dally lives than tha receipt of a weekly pay envelope or a visit to a theater now and then. Like their prosaic neighbors ths cinema folk ar struggling for recognition, and, country. newspapers not worrying. On th contrarj he is the fie Is buav in man filmland, happiest producing pictures according to bis own methods and Is said to be as good a director as he Is an actor in hi particular field. Irene Rich, whom he one ''branded the most beautiful woman on ths screen, is hia leading woman. d LESTER, grand of th screen, spent her vacaIn studios tion from the Goldwyn this year. She came back with taken all the in many cases, for the means which wM pictures showing she had In th valley and on her own feet! hikes enable them to exist as human beings Miss Lester, who Is well Into the slxtte should.' They do not car for th gay this Is on reason for her still bloomlife, except up to a certain point where says and general good health. it means tho injecting of just a little ing complexion t change into a domestic program that dix h&a nw would otherwise hav more sorrows thaw ttx haa been In joy A'great many sis regular churchgoers; a great many own their own only one picture in which he did not homes and ail blessed with children are propose maaiage to the leading lady Helen Chadwick has been th object ot striving night and day to giv those children an education and a start In a world his avowal three times; Lea trice Joy, May each. Yet that constantly is showing its teeth to Collins and Colleen Moorg once with all these proposals to hls credit, the unprepared and the unfortpnat The few exceptions ar at once the Richard remains a bachelor, bane and th disgrace of the profession. films equal to ths They are the night owls; the swaggering bunch that try to excel In the loudness ENOLrsH need not be expected for of their dross and In the gaudiness of some years, says Paul Powell, noted ditheir cars; th kind that soon would rector, who has Just returned from a fad into oblivion if press agents did not year's at the Paramount labor night snd day In their behalf chron- studio In London. European scenery Is that hav no foiWidatlon wonderfift In historical significance and icling facta and "giving them an intellectuality that natural beauty, but wilt not photograph .even a university professor would envy. well because of the light, he says, .and The sane, decent element engaged In the the greatest handicap to the British procinema game never meet with them ex- ducer, the fogs, will be partly overcome machine cept on studio lots and there the$ pay by the use of RATE white-haire- Richard . If ' |