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Show SaUy, April 21 1996 Slang popular among LDS missionaries Slang is often irreverent When the name of deity is taken in vain, we call it "profanity." In every lan- guage, profanity tends to stick around for a long time. Irreverent terms for such dungs as body parts and functions, marriage (including spouses), bosses and other cultural staples also abound and even find their way into dictionaries. One of my students has just completed a survey of Mormon missionary slang, usage that causes many mission presidents to sometimes lose sleep. Given the ups and downs and stresses of missionary work, and the ages of the missionaries, it's natural that they should invent some choice vocabulary of the type we call "slang." Presiding authorities dis-- Pltote tappy ti affteir Io)3 aflSv convince anyone that the safe return of the jets was nothing short of remarkable. Anderson's was missing its nose, its canopy and VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. Rugged jets the use of its right engine; Stubbs' lost parts helped them survive, the fliers said. So did divine intervention. "We had a couple of angels flying with us yesterday." of "Wa That's how Lt. Cmdr. William G. Stubbs with yesfigures he and fellow pilot Lt Cmdr. Greg S. cngcto flying Anderson managed to fly their crippled jets terday." home safely following the mid-a- ir collision Lt. Cmdr. William G. of their Hornets Tuesday afternoon during a training exercise over the Atlantic. Anderson didn't disagree. The two pilots, both Naval reservists and Persian Gulf War veterans, have been of its left wing and left rudder. 8 Daryl Stephenson, a spokesman for grounded, standard procedure while a series in St. manufacturer McDonnell Louis, Douglas of medical, psychological and technical is used to touting the airplane's "survivability." evaluations are completed, said their comBut upon hearing a description of the damage, mander. Cmdr. Roger Dadiomoff of Composite Fighter Squadron 12. No cause or even he said, "That's pretty amazing." The Navy made the fliers available for fault for the mid-acollision of the $28 million jets has yet been determined, a process interviews Wednesday at Oceana, their home base. Because an investigation is the Navy said could take months. But whatever the outcome of those findongoing, the fliers did not discuss details of look one at the ings, damaged jets the accident or why they thought it occurred, at Oceana Naval Air Station was enough to and were allowed only to address the events ted a coupte FA-I8- A FA-1- us 8s F-1- "medium-com- Stubbs plexity" side-by-si- FA-1- i ir up-clo- CH eollisi mid-ah- r following the impact, officials said. The two men had flown together for four years. Tuesday they were at 20.000 feet, about 35 miles off the North Carolina coast and 65 miles southeast of Norfolk, Va., with at one end of a two other training range. The jets, which had been airborne for about 45 minutes, flew northward, playing the role of enemy fightfrom ers for an undisclosed number of Fighter Squadron 41 flying on the range's opposite end. Dadiomoff called it a mission. The jets flown by Stubbs and Anderson w ere cruising at about 400 mph when, Anderson said. "We collided." "I saw it coming, and tried to maneuver to get out of the w ay." said Anderson, w ho was flying to the left of Stubbs. It was too late; lie braced himself for the impact. thought, 'Well, it's my time.'" he said. I was shocked to find out that it wasn't." Stubbs didn't see the impending collision. "It felt like a giant speed bump." he said. The jets separated after the impact Anderson careened into a left roll: he lost control for a few seconds, he said. He had lost his nose By WSLUAtt H. IScCSCHAEL Newport News DeJy Press THE DAILY HERALD, Ftova, I'taii cone, his canopy, his hydraulics, his instrumentation and power in one engine. "There! was a lot of air in the cockpit," he recalled: His wristwatch w as torn off his arm. "It certainly makes you jump." he said, "You just dunk. 'Settle down, evaluate what happened." Stubbs' jet. flying on the right, also begad section; to roll left; the impact tore a of the left wing off his jet, bent the wing's rear flap up against the fuselage and sheared 3 feet from the top of the left rudder. j Stubbs recalled a "momentary disorient tation." Then he got a grip on himself, and instinct kicked in. Stubbs slowed to about 230 mph and gave the jet "hard right stick; and right rudder" to right himself. Once the two jets were stabilized, each pilot did a quick damage assessment! Despite the wing damage, Stubbs wasn't id bad shape. He w as leaking fuel from a smal) storage tank in the w ing. Anderson, flying with a blunted front end. had to slow down below 200 mph and crouch behind his windscreen. "My feel were constantly working the rudders to keep the airplane flying, he said. 1 WordWise courage the use of slang to refer to more sacred objects and activities, but they can do little to suppress it otherwise. The Missionary Training Centers are probably the "slang centers" from which such terms extend. Most of the instructors are themselves returned missiona slang term aries. "RMs" itself, often used with an overtone of prurience. Thus slang both comes from and goes back to the mission field as a violated taboo. The most common missionary exclamations are "fetch." "fudge" and "flip"; and one would hope these are not euphemisms for another naughty word beginning with the letter f. Some slang has been around for decades: "greenie" for a new " missionary; "trunk) for a misabout to sionary go home, signaling that he or she is packing, sitting on or tucked in his or her homebound trunk (luggage). (We actually used to take trunks on missions.) Synonyms for "trunky" include "baggie, dead head." There's no need to explain the "Dear JohnJane." Rebellious and lazy missionaries have generated multiple labels: "tink, chuck, hoopty, sled, slacker, dead, spode. fly boy, partier. slough, kicker, bucket, leak, hooter, rebel and rebelder IlllEHBillHlIif in fc? in Aim bk In s Mlffflff imi H, mm iriLU ii ' i . : . .. r mm luiie I V (rebelelder). apostate, Laman and Lemuel. O P. (Off the Program)." and the Spanish "chevco, los flojos." Good missionaries also get labeled: "rocks, stalwarts, but these binders, big dogs" can also have a negative connota- tion. Missionaries in leadership Coitions are "D Ls" (district and zone leaders are Z.L.S, zonies or "zone gods" (oops, wt're crossing into the profane); A.P.S or "apes" (assistants to the president). Leaders who don't practice what they preach are called "pharisecs." Missionaries w ith no character are called "chameleons." Missionaries w ho can't take the rigors of missionary life arc "twinkies." Two common missionary ailments involve being attracted to local young women. In Scotland, missionaries so suffering are called "cornflakes"; on the Indian reservations, the disease is called "lamanitis." Local young women who pursue missionaries are called "snakes" an obvious Garden of Eden allusion. Missionaries who pursue local young ladies are "scorpions." See also "triffs." Missionaries who take to reserv ation life are called "rez dogs." Missions are typically divided into four time periods: six months bump, one year hump, eighteen months slump, and the end dump. Trainer missionaries are sometimes called "dads." Elders and sisters who hang out and sponge off favorite members are said to be "camping." Legitimate dinner appointments are simply "D.A.s." Preparation day eve y eve) is the time to relax and perhaps do other questionable things, like play cards, so in some missions it's called "pagan's eve." One's living quarters are the "pit, hole, pad. pinch, dive or cave." A detour on an otherwise legitimate trip is a "road trip." Missionaries vying for leadership are positions (heaven forbid!) said to be "bucking " The (bod staple of boxed macaroni and cheese is "yellow death." If you would like to add to our collection of missionary slang, please write WordWise. The P.O. Box 717. Prove, (P-da- v Fly on . ' --"V - -- v ':"CT nonstop flights at flill fare and take up to three people along for just $25 per person, each way based on roundtrip travel. Nonstops not offered to all destinations. m me aim eIfF Now It's easy for the whole family to get away Just buy a roundtnp ticket at our full unrestricted fare to a nonstop destination, and bnng along as many as three more people for only $25 per person, each way. 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