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Show THE DAILY HERALD, Provo, I Uh, Friday. April 5, Page D2 1 contract misses the point A marriage years, who have recently run into some communication difficulties: "The contract should be written after the wedding, after you have lived with each other a while." Here's a question I'd like to ask the New Mexico couple: "When problems arise, will you go to a marriage counselor or a lawyer?" Is it just me, or is something don't glaringly missing here? this of 'intend critical be to really . they are simply obv iously couple; trying to make the marriage work Lights are to go out at 1 1 :30 p.m. (no Leno or Letterman for them), and the two will get up promptly at 6:30 a.m. (Sunday paper in bed not allowed. Nothing may he left on the floor overnight. Shoes are to be left in the garage. They're to engage in healthy se three to five times per week (I wonder if this is written in their schedule planner you know, "business meeting, phone call, pick up dry cleaning, engage in healthy se"). In sharing this story with couhave seen recently. I've ples heard some interesting comments. All the couples gave me permission to share their reactions anony mously. Some details have been changed to protect confidentiality. horn a thrice divorced man: "I wish had thought of that'" A couple married for more than 35 years: No comment, just a wise grin that seemed to say. "Boy do they have a lot to learn." A couple married for just a few By JEFF HERRING r Knight-RiddeNewspapers A man and woman in New Mexico, unsuccessful in previous marriages, decided to make sure theirs worked. So they created a prenuptial agreement My first thought on hearing this item in the news recently was: Here are two ery rich people w ho want to protect themselves financially in case the marriage doesn't work out. We are accustomed to hearing about this kind of prenuptial agreement. To my surprise, the purpose was not to protect assets in the event of divorce. This couple wrote an agreement to govern their tvhav ior and feelings within the marriage' The single-spacelegal, court-fil- e J document is meant to guarantee "love, honor and respect." I wonder if there's a promise of their money hack! Here are just a few of the mandates for their marriage (my comments are in parentheses i: The gas tank in the car is not ajiowed to go Mow half-ful- l 16-pa- 1 and avoid pain. It just seems to me that they are trying to manage something that should come from deep within the heart, soul and mind. In my experience, that someI say heart thing is commitment. and soul because commitment dtes involve our feelings. I say mind because commitment is an ongoing decision, an act of the w ill. To me. commitment in marriage means is that, whatever happens. am promising to do everything in nv power to make the relationship dav by day, as well as work 1 -- W-da- y 1 over the long haul. In our and instant some when culture, people encounter the difficult aspects of marriage, they decide to throw the relationship out and go find another one. The problem with this approach is that, as the saying goes, "wherever you go, you take yourself w ith you." This means is that unless you fast-pace- d 1 ' vfy I I v? - tH work on what created the mess in the first place, it's likely you will just go out and find someone else w ith w horn to create the same mess. You may find someone who looks and acts differently, but even though the package may be different, the same dynamics are played out in the next relationship, even if you set up rules against it. Growth in marriage comes not only through commitment to another person; it also comes through commitment to working through the rough times and getting through to the other side. Weathering storms together strengthens vour marriace. 7 O Book can help people find lasting relationships parent. The natural responses may include anger, disappointment and dismay along with a lengthy lecture on the moral and physical reasons not to have premarital sex And while many parents may feel knowledgeable enough to handle such a lecture, a new book by a Utah County native will give them another tool to use. "This isn't a religious book It you want practical information on aspects of dating and the differences Mween men and women and the effects of casual sex. this is it." said Laurie L.angtord describing her new book Want Wh Settle Jut Se.' "This conies from a different Lt There's perspective your teenage Discovering daughter has become sexually active isn't an easy thing for any tr I wish my me." told mother had Langford said. The "everything" l.angtord puts in her hok includes the ten most common mistakes women make, why men act certain ways after sleeping with a woman, rebuilding deciding when to have sex. how to end a sexual relationship and how to aw aken feelings of love before getting physical. l.angtord also includes a chapter on how to "re-- irgiiute" or reestablishing personal standards or beliefs that have been lost through a sexual relationship. "Being a v irgin isn't just a phy matter. It has to do with our hearts and our desires." Langford writes in her rok. "If we have a pure heart and an honest desire to establish a higher standard for ourselves, then we are essentially renewing ourselves from within. We are making a new hecinninc." plenty of practical things to convince you to wait until marriage. I talk about more of the emotional aspects." added the author. l.angtord. whose book is subtiRelatle on r unl Dead-Entionship and Find l ove that Lists, was horn in Pay son in ll'r4 and lived in Spanish Fork for two years. In her family was involved in a train accident that claimed the life of her pregnant mother, brother and sister. Lang-for- d and her father. Tony Lang-forthen moved around L'tah and other states Having her mother die and missing out on a motherdaughter relationship talk is part of the reason Lang lord decided to write her book. "I felt we really needed a hook like this learned all of this the hard By JANET HART Daily Hera'd Lifestyle Editor wav d self-estee- v d, )u 1 cathv 6 IT? by Cathy Guisewite f EXCEPT HOW FCR ...THE THE ROll-Of-f- j It's everything UMTONED- THE - ARMS THIiO. . GlJRiMO- - WHITE -- THE LOVE TRUE WITH THi0 ITS PERFECT ?! THE a repentance process because of my religious beliefs. And once I started looking at my past and understanding why I made certain decisions. I wanted to share it w ith others." she said. While Langford's book is not a religious one. she dives encourage parents to talk about their religious beliefs with their children. Langford's kok is available at Deseie; Book and all other major bookstores She will be signing copies of her book at The Book-shein Ogden today from 5 to 7 and Saturday from 2 to 4 p.m. p.m. at the Sucarhouse Barnes & Noble Bookstore. 2236 S. 1300 Fast. SLC. lf Hare scare Tiffany Baker, 2, of Neon, Kentucky, cries for Mommy and Daddy while sitting in the Easter Bunny's lap Tuesday at McFariand Mall, in Tuscaloosa. Ala. The family was visiting Tiffany's grandmother, Elizabeth Mullins, of Cottondale. Life is good for Newspapers Middle-clas- s Americans settling into retirement after careers with big employers agree on one Knight-Ridd- er thing: Life is good A Cornell University survey of retirees in I'pstate New York found that these folks are surprisingly satisfied with their lot in life. f or instance: About SO percent said they are happy. Neatly half are keeping busy with volunteer work. Cancer caregivers: If someone in vour family has cancer, vou suf the retired fer, too. Cancer patients are being released from hospitals quicker and sicker, which increases the burden on family members, the University of Pennsylvania School of Nursing say s Asthmatic children: Strong emotions can stimulate asthma symptoms m your children. So say researchers at the State University of New York at Buffalo who believe they have identified one of the neural pathways involved, the vaeus nerve. CAM Ai.uJAN'S CRESS OllERlOCX CONTIN UES' SABLE NAILS o through AP PftOtO AFFAIR . ASJu'iD-TH- 0 The author said she went through this process after a series of unsuccessful relationships which included "playing house basically" with an older man at age 19. But by age 20. Langford knew her lifestyle wasn't what she wanted and realized she was having trouble breaking out of it because she was already sexually involved. I went "I had to DYSTROPHY ASSOCIATION FEW VI mL J FlA$. i I Twice The Service "Carl & Dottie" Thornhitl $18.00 Fills MUSCULAR A CMwdllialur WatlMltytfNM MiniWorld t. ?xf .' SPECIAL taster Packaae 16 - Wallets 2-8- 3 x10 6 - 5x7 ' Poses $39.95 SPRING All SorincDn W! AAi)nKIJD VJJ ff OFF SUGG RETAIL m THRU EASTER ONLY m mm m Hats J SUGG RETAIL MiniWorld 1460 North Riverside Plaza, Provo 375-155- 5 J Instant video proof ingl Portraits ready to pick up next day! Pictures the way yoci want them. At the price yod want to pay Store Hours: Mon-S- at 10-- 6 South Entrance I |