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Show r- - f i t Woman upset by her sister's behavior " Dear Ann Landers: My sister, 'Lydia," age 38, divorced her husband almost immediately after their son, "Alex," was boni. Lydia has been spoiling this boy rotten ever since. He is now 17 and attends a prep school in the East, A recent development has me , , stunned. Alex was very anxious to get into a certain club at school. Yesterday, he was voted in and is so thrilled he can't see straight. As part of the initiation, the boys gave Alex a video camera and told him fie has to make a video of his mother getting undressed. The club members show these "initiation" videos at parties and charge ssA'lf the American approach. Nina Thai, a Vietnamese-Ar4-- f ican dentist from Minneapolis, ; surprised when Vietnamese tgc- tors refused to study a newtgti- - 1 nique for molding prosthews.-r.- e that took minutes instead oTJwirs.' But a Vietnamese doctuw&ti&l By RICHARD HERZFELDER Associated Press Writer 1 ' M THE DAILY HERALD, Provo, Utah, Thursday, January 25, 1996 Page B2 f ri THAI NGUYEN, Vietnam Duong Dinh Huong had just one wish before going into the operating room. "Please tell the doctor to do a told good job," the shy teen-aghis Vietnamese-America- n nurse, Be Ho. "I would love to have handsome lips." Huong spent the first 14 years of his life with his upper lip disfigured by a harelip and his speech deformed by a cleft palate. His parents were rice farmers from the San Tri ethnic minority, among the poorest people in Vietnam. Even if we worked hard, some times we didn t have enough to eat, said Huong s father, Duong Van Cao. "We couldn't afford any thing. We didn't think we would ever be able to help him." d That s where Opera- '";tion Smile came in. In just 90 min- -' utes, a team of visiting American 'surgeons repaired Huong's deformities a routine operation in the industrial world but one that passes' for nothing less than a miracle in a poor province in one of the poorest countries in Asia. ft?!,, I . A - I j er Thai's Landers Advice Columnist to see them. .. When Lydia told me this, I was J too upset to respond. The fact that her son would consider asking his mother to do such a thing shows L how little respect he has for her. What is worse is that Lydia is .actually considering it. I should lull you that she is very proud of her youthful figure and wears clothes that show it off. - ' ' In my opinion, Alex's request is inappropriate, and I am '"confused and troubled by my reaction. I don't know what i"to say without alienating her com- -. " fletely. Any ideas? Stymied in New York sis-""(e- r's Dear New York: Has Lydia your opinion? If you told ,her that being taped in this would cheapen her in the .eyes of her son's friends, would it make any difference? I have a , Reeling the answer to both these .questions is NO, but it's worth a try. On the outside chance that , ,ypu can get through to this vain , woman, tell her how you feel, and let's hope she listens. Dear Ann Landers: While I man-l':ja- cr -- . , ; i ! j i ; - was away on business, my fiance trashed my finances and then lied to me about where the money went. He was supposed to pay my bills, but he didn't do it. I left him the cash, like a fool, and he spent it gambling. When "Al" didn't pay the bills, we were evicted from our apartment. I'm now living with relatives, and he is with his father. . We have been kicked out of two other apartments because of .our loud arguing. I would get so angry when Al came home drunk that I'd scream at him, and he'd " ".scream back. Then, the pots and - .pans would fly, but he never did hit me. We have had many ar U.S.-Vietna- m Minneapolis chapter, thought a purely humanitarian mission would improve the bitter atmosphere that relahad dominated tions since the Vietnam War. "You are healing wounds in children's lips while healing the wounds between our two peoples," Health Minister Do Nguyen Phuong told Magee this past fall, noting the two countries normalized relations in August. "You came to our country healing the wounds of war." U.S.-Vietna- m In the latest visit, Operation Smile brought teams of surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses and speech therapists to Da Nang, a port in central Vietnam, and Thai Nguyen, the gritty capital of Bac Thai province 50 miles north of Hanoi. weeks the teams treated more than 200 patients, removing In two jj'tf'' M five weeks and wants us to get another apartment together. I'm afraid he w ill slip back into his old bad habits and then MY behavior would be unacceptable. (I have a short fuse.) Should I move back in with Al and give our relationship another chance, or should I just move on and look for somebody else? I love this man, but he really did disappoint me. I am terribly confused and could use a fresh opinion, Ann. Coogie in Milwaukee Dear Milwaukee: Don't move back with Al. Tell him if he is serious about cleaning up his act, he can prove it by going with you for joint counseling. It sounds as if alcohol has a lot to do with Al's problems. A competent counselor will probably send him to Alcoholics Anonymous. And also check into Gamblers Anonymous (see your phone book). Good luck to! both of you. You're going to need it. 3 Free with 1 - n't treat, ifcwd AP Photo scar tissue from burns as well as repairing cleft lips and palates. But, Magee said, "It's just a drop in the bucket." Doctors estimate 4,000 babies are born with cleft lips, palates or both every year in Vietnam, and few are treated. Vietnamese doctors lack equipment, training and exposure to the latest techniques. The government focuses on fundamental public health problems like malnutrition, sanitation, rickets, polio and malaria. Some victims, such as Huong, who tends water buffalo and helps with rice crops in a nearby village, adjust to their deformities and win acceptance from their neighbors in Vietnam's close-kn- it rural society. Others don't. At one bed at the Op Smile clinic, Nguyen Thi Bang wept over her daughter, Vu Thi Hung. The face was unmarked, but her cleft palate had made it hard to eat or form sounds to make speech. "She didn't have friends. She was isolated and lonely being at home all the time. The other kids were teasing her a lot, and she had to leave school," said Bang, who works in a factory that makes fishing poles. Helping patients like Hung and Huong is just one of Operation Smile's goals. Training local doctors is the only way to reach everyone in need, and the project plans repeat visits to Thai Nguyen Polyclinic Hospital. Two surgeons are being flown to the United States for more training. "The idea is not just to sew up somebody's lips and have people say, 'Gee, they did a nice job on " said your harelip,' Dr. Mike . MIL LIRE r 'J"" and families, then fly back to their big houses and fancy cars, the Vietnamese complain. Jealousy and pride sometimes get in the way of communication, Magee said. "The young doctors are right in there," he said. "The older doctors it's rare you get one who's Freedland, a surgeon from Detroit. "The idea is to do such a good job that people say, 'What is that scar on your lip?' " Still, some Vietnamese doctors and nurses resent the Americans who descend on their hospital and complain about the lack of air conditioning, the bad light and the ancient equipment. The Americans spend a few days as local heroes winning adoration from patients open-minded- Editor's note: OperationSjnik headquarters, 717 Boush St., Nor- ." Va., folk, But the Vietnamese said there are also practical problems with 23510. Telephone$04-625-0375- . i Cathy by Cathy Guisejwjite Wat writ. 6000 M0RNIN&, STAFf, AND WELCflfflE TO WUfc HAPPV, Win 20 ffllNUTES ii'imii'h,ih i ' 111 &R0UPS OF 30 MINUTES WITH irr 8V Of THE DAV ! tO'.OOAm! iihiiiiiiiihi,hii inn 1. REDONE JOKE A fi ha HAS TO BE START US OFF SPECIAL SHARIN&. JrmiM.nr BAILED CINE, PERHAPS S0T!E0NE CAN BREAK INTO SfflALL FOR 'UlUMHKfaSep- THE BEST MEDI A FAT-FR- SCONE SNACK... AND WILL 'HA THE 8UT FIRST, SINCE LAUGHTER IS OXWENflTlMfr TEA AND CHAfflOmiE THEM I OF STRETCHES... F0LL0WEO 8V STRESS-FRE- E hyibu ruinpiMMCiaT START TCDfiV WITH Either they re cheering the discount 15 at our SuperBolt Sale, or thev were orn per1c 7- Jr A !3 i s deciae. i! e Stirling As Low At Full Line of had my translato I explain that perhaps on "anpthe mission we mient oe aDie .to neir them, but on this particular's sion we couian t, saia rreeamna "And the family started asking lot of questions, and we started whole discussion. It was just terrible I got real emotional because !' jus couldn t do anything tor the lamny. Magee agrees. "It's horrible to say no, lit painful, and yet that pain is what brings people back. It's what,Caus es us to go to business leaders ,anc politicians and granting agencie and say: You gotta neipus Because this child doesn't have chance unless you help.' " u 9 Villi! $9900 ' working for the organization Operation Smile, came to Vietnam for two weeks, treating more than 200 patients in that time. Duong Dinh Huong is prepared for cleft lip and palate surgery in a hospital in Thai Nguyen, Vietnam, Nov. 16. A team of visiting U.S. specialists, You're Gonna Wish You'd Bought Your Serta At. eye-openi- I I Serfa Mattresses Wf makf tmf WnniDf BESTMAT1MSS '' ' il 200 East State Road: Pleasant Grove 785-222- 1 CHILDREN'S OUTLET t All types of peop r i enioy decorating at Calico Uorners. from nose lit. can sew th eirown slipcovers, XI lo those whove never held h Ihi 1 Monday, January 22nd through Saturday, February 3rd All size All the regular price 40 the Infant & Toddler All off 40 Petite Cookie Bouquet $99 size 0-- off 30 wlio i ble. let alone a pom-poI M I do it all yourself, or we do it for von. tutvtt liirf ll hetherjrou Big inrougn Udiiuaiy 291 i. lUh. SAVE 15 Girl II i ON ALL HOME FABRICS AT THE SUPERBOLT SALE. off Irregular fraiws'; Playwear 40 the off regular price 4 PolyCotton All size Coats Fall Dresses Reg. 9.47 iii )Ie periect peop regular price the regular price All v I Playwear Blanket Sleepers Latex Balloons Boy & size Velvet Dresses 50 off the regular price 0-- & 40 the Boy & Girl Snowsuits labries. furniture ancl inspiruti i off regular price 561 8 So. Redwood Rd. Salt Lake City Cottonwood Moll 4835 So. Highland Dr. 77 West Center St. Provo 75 Harrisville Rd. Ogden SALT LAKE CITY 6150 b. State Street 1 EJUZILollipops 07C MOO OlDmQC Edgemont 3137N Pisa Ctnyl Road 'Provo Otter Eplre Flbrutry 14, 1096 Valid only with coupon. No other oflan apply. J lW (801) HOURS !l l J pl You discussions since he gambled away the rent and food money, and we have worked through a lot of problems. Al hasn't had a drink for uselH-- unfamiliar conditions, fruMratii says miracles still do occur. They just occur through the gifts that we've been fortunate enough to be given," said Dr. Bill Magee, a plastic surgeon who founded Oper- ation Smile in Norfolk, Va. Magee and his wife, Kathy, started "Op Smile" after a trip to the Philippines in 1982. Planning to do about 25 operations and get in a little touring, they were stunned when hundreds of disfigured people appeared seeking help. Many of them were unknown to local health authorities. Some of the adults had spent their whole lives hidden in shame. Op Smile has grown into a $4 million-a-yeproject financed by grants and corporate donations. In 1995 its surgical teams visited 12 from Russia to countries, Nicaragua. It first came to Vietnam in 1989 at the request of Gen. John Vessey, who was guiding policy under President Bush. Vessey, a member of Op Smile's was by lack of communication or'aSer.: over some side-issu- e, Magee his colleagues to visit post-q; and look at the patients. "By keeping that tocus, yo keep your objectives really punl3 And in the end everyooay those pure objectives and thai' how communication builds," h said at a team breakfast. to No matter how hard the teai 9 works, there are far more patjent than resources, and the hardest is saying no. "The first patient that we could "We're an organization that ; technique because it required costly rrjaterife L I that the hospital can't afford. When they get depresseU!iJ U.S.-base- VC fc? f fm JfS 0k i MON. 10-- 6 TITS. 10-- 6 WED. 10-- 6 265-942- 3 TliURS. 10-- 8 FR1. 10-- 6 SAT. 10-- 6 SUN. 12-- 4 C 2 - |
