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Show Page C2 THt DAILY HFRALD. Prifta. Utah. Saturday, January 2. GENEALOGY Tapss PUZZLE PIECES mmh tag sifc mm7z teftlft) ?ilT By GAYLE ASSAR MELVIN Knight Ridder Newspapers I WALNUT CREEK, Calif mother tells us many things, from the mundane (eat your vegetables) to the sublime (you were the most wonderful baby in the world). She can be a A Pai'l Tripp Family history result of lifetime of puzzle pieces , I've always enjoyed putting together puzzles. That's probably why I'm attracted to family history research. Today I have upwards of 80 volumes of collected materials on clients' and my ancestors. It is formidable; intimidating to others. Many find it a mountain too tall. Hut it was really easy. It was line upon line. And, it started with my own family history. Leiloni, my wife, started it. She filled in family group sheets and pedigree charts for me. She did a picture pedigree which is still the best I have. That was the summer of 19(52, when 1 worked at Ford Motor Company in Detroit. One of the relatives told us Perry Tripp in Cleveland had family records. We called him and he invited us to his place. He looked like Hollywood actor Harry Fitzgerald. I was 23, he was 73. He gave me irreplaceable family bible information on Thomas Tripp and Nancy Stevenson. Not long after our visit, Perry died. ; ; ' ' THEN, BY some sleuthing, I came upon Georgia Underwood. She was a descendent of James William Tripp. She gave me a cake dish of James', told about their life in Deerfield, Mich., and named the children. That's how I learned James died in a fire in his cabin loft. And, I figure he was heartbroken and maybe drunk, because he had been alone 13 years since his beloved Emily died from tuberculosis just after the last child was born. I don't think James was ever the same. Georgia gave me marriage certifi-- ! cates and photos. "Nobody in my family wants them," she explained her generosity. They're sitting.in my base-- ,' ment, in one of the volumes, right now. HOW ABOUT the time I walked up the porch of Fred Schmid, dying from emphysema, in Saline. Mich.? I introduced myself. He reluctantly let me in. There on the coffee table was the family bible. "Say, do you have a family bible or something like that?" "Nope." Nuthin' like that, huh?" "Nope." Bible at my knee, I squirm, look around the living room, eyes rest anew on the bible, "Say, what's that?" I act surprised. "You won't find nuthin' in that!" "Mind if look?" My hands move toward the bible. "I,ook if you want, but it has nuthin' in it!" Not hi n'. right. Only the entire civil war veteran family record of his on ; 1 grandfather, with names, birthdates, marriage dates and everything. write it all down, and say thanks. "Didn't think anything was in there," he monotones and ends the conversa-.- . tion. Fred was dead in less than a " year. I've never been back. Where is ' the family bible now? Never mind, the real stuff is in my volume 13. I ', s ,'" THEN THERE was that New in the Bedford, Mass., day Library when Mr. Cyr handed me a manila envelope from their restricted circulation room, and I read the "Relation (meaning 'to relate' or to Mell) of John Tripp." I learned he was born in Horkstow, Lincoln, England, ..and thereafter found him and 70 relatives in the Horkstow Parish Register. .;I was touched to learn John and his ..master were driven out of Boston to Portsmouth, R.I., because they were un welcome Quakers. I then visited Portsmouth, R.I., fV and stomped around the same soil as mar-'velou- 'did John the founder. I saw the Bristol Ferry site where his son Abiel and grandson Abiel operated the Ferry. vo- It's been a major work. Eighty lumes. The work of a lifetime. I have gloved it. I still find working through ;(he records is a high. of finding. And, now, we j A lifetime all into the temple. broom them iiiust Putting together this puzzle has "been fun. - Tripp is a profess ional genealogist J,ithPaul You can contact 40 veurs experience. "ftim at 221-922- 6. Scheherazade, spinning tales of days gone by, or a moral compass, teaching right from wrong. When a mother's voice is stilled by death, all that is lost. For Linda Blachman, it is a loss that should be mitigated. When her own mother died in her 80s, it left an aching void. "Part of my grief was that I didn't have her stories," says Blachman. As she dealt with that grief, she began to think about ways to capture mothers' stories, and decided to combine her own experience as a along with her studies on death and dying. The result is the Mother's Living Stories project, which matches women with breast cancer with trained volunteer listeners who help them record their life stories and anything else they want to tell their children on audiotapes. Breast cancer takes a particular toll on mothers. In this country alone, the disease kills one woman every 12 minutes, many of them mothers with young children. Often, the patient's role as a mother is overlooked by the medical community, says Blachman, who worked as a maternal and child health specialist for 20 years. I :!f A H 11 , d oil w Jf si! oA writer-research- Worse than dying When she began her research, she was stunned to learn how little support there was for mothers with cancer. And she was haunted by the mothers who told her that the thought of leaving their children was the most WTenching aspect of their disease. bond is 'The mother-chilthe most painful, primal issue there is," says Blachman. 'They would tell me 'I can face my own death, but I can't face " leaving my kids.' It's a possibility Natalie Compagni Portis, 38, has had to face. Although she is now in remission, the Montclair resident had a mastectomy two years ago, just five days before her son Julian's third birthday. "For me, the most challenging part of having breast cancer was being a mom," she says. "I had to consider how to be a good mother, how to help him, and still take care of ; L.M. OTERO Knighi Ridder Newspaper, s Mother's dilemma: Dallas city councilwoman Laura Miller, a mother, is prepared for radiation therapy by Marian at Baylor Medical Center in Dallas in December. Miller is undergoing daily radiation therapy for breast cancer. There is now a group called Mother's Living Stories, which trains volunteer listeners to record life stories of women suffering from breast cancer. Beck-Edward- heard about the Mother's Living Stories project, she felt a glimmer of recognition. "It immediately intrigued me. I thought 'Count me in.'" She volunteered to help Blachman, and spearheaded the project's Parenting Through The slender woman with the cloud of black curls is no stranger to parental loss. Her father died when she was 18, and she still yearns to hear his voice or see him in moving pictures, but no such records exist. When Compagni Portis Cancer resource guide, available on its Web site. Recently, she recorded her own story. "It was healing and wonderful," she says. Preserving Mom's stories d myself." ' Blachman agrees that there therapeutic element to the project. 'There is a healing power that happens as the mother tells her story. She starts to remember life before cancer, to remember pieces of herself that she may have forgotten as the illness took over." The stories can be more than biography, however. They are a way to pass on traditions and values, much as the medieval Jews did with their ethical will, a letter to their children instilling their legacy of spiritual values. For Portis, Compagni recording her story was an opportunity to think about the values she wanted to convey to Those beliefs are simple, yet profound. Watching Julian color at the wooden kitchen table, Compagni Portis lists them: Being kind and gentle to others. Not hurting people with your words or your body Paying attention to becoming the kind of person you want to be in the world. 'These are the things we believe in, aren't they Julian?" she asks her young son. "And doing crafts," he adds as he carefully draws with a purple marker. "And doing crafts," echoes his mother. is a Julian. "I thought about what I believe in, what I want to pass on. Not just the heirlooms or diamond ring, but my beliefs and spirituality," she says. Don't stop at one So far, Blachman has completed 24 narratives. That may seem like a small number, she says, but each of the stories has a ripple effect, from the mothers to their children, spouses, partners, friends and volunteer listeners. "Even the transcribers are affected, telling me they've learned the importance of recording their own stories and those of their parents." Volunteer listener Virginia Jouris of Danville, Calif., has helped one mother with her story and expects to work with one more during her yearlong commitment to the project. It took six meetings to complete "her" mother's life story. They'd meet at the woman's home at 9 p.m., after the children were in bed. one woman talking, the other silently listening. During those visits, Jouris came to admire the mother's courage and her commitment to her children, ages 6 and 8. "She was intent on telling her story so her children would know her," says Jouris. "Many girls want to grow up and be a mother, but she had had the dream since childhood of motherhood with a capital M. It was heartbreaking for her to face the possibility that she might not be there when they were grown up." Blachman trains the listeners and provides them with several plans for easing the mother through her story. Usually, Jouris' mother knew exactly what she wanted to talk about, but if not, Jouris was prepared to gently guide her. "You have an idea of what kinds of things would be important for children to know," she says. "What was her life like? What was her childhood like? All children are interested in knowing what their parents were like when they were children." Helping with history Being a listener is different than being a friend, says Jouris. With a friend, conversations are a As a listener, Jouris said little about herself and refrained from offering advice. Still, a bond ' developed, and Jouris expects they will stay in touch. The Danville, Calif., woman believes her age may have helped as well. At 81, she's experienced much of life. "Age gives you a different perspective, and that may have it less difficult for me. Yes, it was sad, for her and for me, but sadness was only a part of what was going. on. So much was fun and interesting and heartwarming. You had all those dimensions." Compagni Portis admits she was a bit nervous when she first met with her listener, but soon relaxed. "Here was this person with an open, beautiful face, saving Tell me more.' It was like looking into a clear mirror." She acknowledges that some women may hesitate to record their life stories, seeing it as an acceptance of death. Sadly, some wait until it is too late. Blachman suggests her mothers approach the stories as a work in progress, rather than a summary of a life near-in- g completion. "I tell them to think of it as a story they can add chapters to for a long time to come," she says. But if they should die, their children will still have their voices. "It is an incredible thing for them," says Blachman. "It connects them with their mother for their lifetime with messages of love." Most mail order family tree books have shallow roots By LORETTO DENNIS SZLCS Are genealogy books about my family that are offered through the mail worth buying? If you have a mailing address, you've probably received one: a postcard or a letter announcing, "A remarkable new book is about to be and best of all, you are published in it!" Even if you haven't been a lucky recipient, it's a good bet that you know someone whose curiosity has been piqued by one of these creative marketing pieces. Not too long ago, my husband opened the mail to find a "personalized looking" letter announcing that "What might be the most amazing facts about the Szucs have been discovered. The New World Book of Szucs is about to be published for you!" While my husband was touched that someone would go to all the trouble of digging up amazing facts and publishing a book for him, he found these facts questionable. WE WERE amused to see that in their "research through over 170 million individual households" searching for the "very rare Szucs ASK ANCESTRY name" they looked in the U.S.A., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and eight other countries, yet failed to look in Hungary or Slovakia where the Szucs name originates and is most common. After making their research claims, they offered to let us "see how family crests were developed using ancient symbols and what they family crests mean." This offer discussed family crests in such a way that at first glance the unsuspecting would think the Szucs family crest was a part of this published treasure. Should we spend our money on these books? Here are some things to consider before pulling out your credit card: If you simply want a list of names and addresses of individuals who share your surname, a brief overview of how to trace your real family, and an undocumented Coat of Arms that was once granted to someone who had a name like yours, it may be worthwhile. (Remember, there is no such thing as a family surname Coat of Arms. Armorial bearings were granted to a certain individual, and only his descendants in the male line are entitled to them; collateral branches of the same family cannot use them.) However, some people I know who have truly rare surnames have found lost or unknown relatives with these kinds of books. THE HALBERTS case is one example of the public's reaction to promotions by companies who publish this literature. Halbert's Web page claims they have "over 170 million household records compiled from electoral rolls, telephone directories, automobile registrations and directories from 14 countries." On 23 March 1995, the National Genealogical Society, with the support of the Federation of Genealogical Societies, submitted to the United States Postal Service Chief Counsel, Consumer Protection, a report on Halbert's marketing practices with the request that these practices be investigated. On 21 November 1995, the USPS issued a supplemental cease and desist order prohibiting Halbert's from further use of certain misleading marketing practices, which cross-stre- 120-pag- e included a consent agreement signed by Halbert's. Previous cease and desist orders against Halbert's which were brought by other parties in 1985 and 1988 remain in effect. The Postal Service contended the company's solicitations, which advertised books such as The World Book of (surname) and The (surname) , Since the Civil War, violated the 1988 consent agreement because , they appeared to be letters from relatives of the addresses. Halbert's , was ordered to prominently display the following disclaimer on any pubadvertising for surname-relatelications: "No direct genealogical connection to your family or ancestry is implied or intended." Because of the increasing populari- of ty family history research, no doubt you will be seeing more of these offers in your mailbox. So remember to be cautious, read all the material carefully, and thoroughly investigate the company making the offer. -- d . Loretto Dennis Szucs is the of The Source, a guide book of American '." genealogy and the author of They Became Americans. She is also Executive Editor of Ancestry Magazine. . |