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Show Thursday, March rm 14, 1985 THE HERALD, Provo, Utah, abuser Views Women as Threat what is important. His goal is the release of pressure on himself." Abusers are often unsteadily 82 peremployed men. Many cent live in neighborhoods in which they are at a lower economic status than neighbors. Some were abused themselves 64 39 percent, and others vViolence. witnessed percent Editor's Note: Part two of the three-pareport, on "Violence in Happy Valley" deals with the incidence, cause and help for battered rt women. RENEE C. NELSON Herald Today Editor There is nothing to prepare us for violence in marriage, panelist moderator swers are broad, "i don t care." "She deserved it." But, according to Smith, 73 pa cent said at the time they did it, they didn't even know they were doing it. "They just get into rages." What precipitates it? "If a husband has a bad day at work, he may take it out on his wife, using violence no matter Laura Boessenroth told the Algie Ballif Forum. The battered wife was one of the main topics of the forum. Ruth Smith, counselor at Utah Valley Youth Services Center in the Division of Family Services, addressed the dynamics of abuse, pointing out that 50 percent of marriages have had violence. "Some of these abusive relationships evolve during the marriage," she said. The wife abuser's feelings, survival and -- power are what is important. His goal is the release of pressure cn himself." 0fjl 8 Ruth Smith "A man perceives that he should be superior, and he has great expectations of perfection." The problem, as she sees it, is in the way he views life. If he feels his superiority waning, he may "You learn the abuser role and the victim role," she said. Some men will brainwash their wives into thinking that their abusive behavior is acceptable, when it isn't. Many abusers are very pleasing and dynamic people. "The issue at the time of abuse is loss of control and power." Asked why they abuse, the an- - take the offense. "Everything that comes along is a major chal- lenge to his survival, and he will perhaps view a woman as posing a threat to him." He may also see the woman as an extension of himself. "His feelings, survival and power' are what she does." Smith observes that there is a condition of helplessness for the like the Jews had going victim to the gas chambers. "And the more a woman has put into the marriage, the harder it is for her to get out." She pointed out that a full 20 percent of all middle class divorces are spouse abuse related. She suggests that everyone should be taught how a man should treat a woman. "This starts by treating everyone as human beings; it give? the woman the motivation she needs. "We should show good models and teach good models," she said, pointing out that TV Shows like "Dallas" aren't good models. When the situation is critical there are many resources for women who leave their husbands. The Utah State Government Department of Social Services offers them a place that is secure and safe at the Battered Women's Shelter. It has security measures that are tapped right into the police department. counseling is also available, and there is a weekly Out-patie- nt shotgun at her husband. Earlier in the evening her husband had threatened to kill: his entire family and himself. The family testified the killing followed years of severe beatings and sexual assaults on his wife and daughter. Hawthorne was acquitted. Such crimes are not rare. A 1979 study at the Women's Correctional Center in Chicago showed that 40 percent of the women serving time for murder or manslaughter had been battered. And, although women perpetrate less than 15 percent of all homicides and generally have a clean arrest record, FBI statistics show women receive harsher penalties than men for similar crimes. , "The syndrome is useful to tell the jury why, from the woman's perspective, she believed she was going to be hurt," said Ellen an attorney with the Center for Constitutional Rights in New York City. kills her A battered woman who spouse does it not for revenge but for according to the psychologists and lawyers who acare winning ground-breakin- g quittals. "She really perceives that she is going to die," said clinical psychologist Lenore E. Walker, who specializes in helping to prepare a defense based on the "battered woman's syndrome." Walker, of Denver, said such women do not always kill in the is heat of battle, so sometimes difficult to prove. "You have to demonstrate that it was reasonable for her to perceive that her life was in danger" to she said. prove In a Florida case, Joyce Hawthorne fired both barrels of a arreled shotgun, emptied each of three revolvers, and finally blasted a single-barrele- d - self-defen- e, double-b- er group therapy session to give them the opportunity to meet with one another in an atmosphere of sisterhood. There are also programs to get women off welfare and into the work force. The average abusive relationship lasts eight years, she said. "But now a woman has options." Tomorrow: Lynn Roundy will address the subject of incest, with a wrap-u- p by Rhonda Arnold on helping victims of family violence. PERSONS WITH ALLERGIES & ASTHMA L01E11R T. CEfiiSTiilSEIi, flD. HOMO CIHTIFIE9 ALLERGIST FROM ALLERGY ACID EOTElOyilTAIII ASTHMA CUOIC Fatal Car Crash Every 10 Minutes yet another hazard. They simply forget to buckle up. So, here is my message for every driver. It is YOUR responsibility to buckle your seat belt and announce to your passengers, "Buckle up, everybody .v This car doesn't move Dear Ann Landers: My husband crash. and I survived a three-ca- r Our car was totaled. If we hadn't been wearing seat belts we would have been seriously injured or killed. With so much being written about seat belts, why do people refuse to buckle up? Please devote some space to this problem. The D's In Stockton, Calif. DEAR CAL.: A recent issue of Science Digest ran an excellent article on this subject. According to Elizabeth Horton, the writer, a fatal car accident occurs every 10 minntes in the United States, ' ; Ann Landers V- - soning discounts the fact that careful drivers are often victimized by terrible drivers. Some excellent drivers end up in hospitals, whee- lchairs and cemeteries because they were hit by drivers who were careless or drunk. Many people don't use seat belts because they are "only going a few blocks." Eighty percent of accidents happen at speeds of less than 25 miles per hour, and 75 percent belt use for six years, says, "WRONG." Geller claims being .thrown from a car is 25 times more dangerous than being strapped in. Another reason for refusing to buckle up: "I'm a careful driver; I won't have an accident." This rea- - happen within 25 miles of home. Even for individuals who are aware of all of the above, there is i Kfitill IffEfflBlSAgf r' ica fir mmmmmmwmmwwfiAHMBaBaM8rjr saaaaaaaaa v m 1 ill!"' as Sitae 1 I i ft a g ".r"J i1iiSS rL. : Alt ;Bmmm e- BBi. Sl SI - SI9: MAY VARY 166 CAST 6I00SOU1H fSUQARHCUSI 1033 CAST 7 100 SOUTH FINEST A MOST COMPLETE HEALTH SPAS FEATURING... Hoggan's Health Equipment 484-876- 6 3364 HARBISON i am li'ff apw a la Reg. $42 Classic Leather Pumps X Choose from mid-hig- h or low heel styling with leather Mid-hein upperi. black, red, low heel in black, blue. '.X X 'vxTiJ T ai.. VV ma Handbags $1.90 to$14.90 In a world where the word phenomenal is irequcntly misused, it's no exoneration in this context. The widespread popularity enjoyed by the Precious Moments figurines is unparalleled in collectibles, let alone niitware. In fact, there's speculation that the sculpture will one day be as revered as Hummelsare today. The figurines' appeal is universal. That's why they've become popular zift items for so many special occasions. The collection of Precious Moments figurines is available atB&HPharmacy, along with dozens of other gift ideas. Because B&lI Pharmacy is more than a drugstore. 225-775- 0 'More than Just Bank caret Hours wolcom. t-- 7, Am BlVD WEST VALLEY 3S. 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Dear Ann Landers: If a woman shaves her legs will the hair grow Individual Lockers Nutritional Guidance Indoor Jogging Track Relaxing Whirlpool Soothing Sauna Steam Room BmBWSe BBBBBBHi- For 84&G4 families. I cannot recall a single complaint from a reader who feels as FACILITIES FOR MEN 4 WOMEN!! Heated Indoor Swimming Pool Private Dressing Booths & - Prove, Utah .a iiiaaaaiaaaa ; 2230 Hsrth University parkway 134 mM F BBfllBBrs?- - Si SHS K He see patients at: v& vRu ij I CI Mont h mmmsm&& ajpswtasteffi'i'": f ft r J " rs 1 1 " . Plans for family and holidays invariably call for a "battle plan." So many problems must be avoided between the two bets of parents, the grandparents on both sides, stepsisters and brothers, aunts, uncles and godparents. If parenting is a hard and thankless job, stepparenting is 100 times more difficult. Why do you refuse to give stepparents a break? Do you have some personal grievance because of your daughter's remarriage? San Diego Complaint Dear San Diego: Yen couldn't be more off base. My own grandchildren adore their stepfather. He has been a healing influence on both J I1 W1 I pna t Jf Comes to Provo, Utah on a regular basis for the diagnosis & treatment of allergic diseases. Precious Moments at B& Pharmacy mm rm I J ill - !!SII"'t' ' I ; , m. " fit III lit ; A eaaeewi ' I ff 6 1 ar 'C J I1 i tMr. Jfa aaai,TM it s.tf until you do. No one is going to get killed while I'm driving." Congratulations to New York state, the first to fine drivers and front-sepassengers who fail to buckle up. The fine could cost $50. Illinois and New Jersey followed the Empire State by a few weeks. Now how about the other 47? Dear Ann Landers: Usually you try to be evenhanded but in one area I find you grossly unfair. It is on the subject of stepparents Don't you realize that stepparents want their family life to be loving and happy? They care for their stepchildren when they are sick, take them to the orthodontist, coach their Little League games and try to do everything a natural parent would do. Yet they are rejected on all sides. School officials say things such as, "Yes, but who is the child's REAL mother?" The children often say, "You can't make me do that you're not my REAL father." at adding np to 22,576 occupant deaths a year. According to the National Safety Council,' seat belts could have prevented 9,900 of those deaths. Yet 80 percent of the people refse to use them. Why? Because many believe it is safer to be thrown from a car than trapped inside. E. Scott Geller, a behavioral psychologist at Virginia Tech who has been studying seat - 11 Battered Women May Kill Out of Fear By PATH BOND OKLAHOMA CITY tUPI) By - Page AMMALLI 621-635- 0 066"1 388 m M- A J H21t a drugstore." 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