Show I WOMANS ODD LITTLE WAYS 11 j BY TABITHA t IV lt shining ornament to society THAT and feminine Mrs Charles van Hebrides and her husband have a son C years ears old Yaw per van Hebrides sole male mille bud on the rosebush of or their th lr dome tlc bliss Is nn an infant phenomenon lvery act of oC the most trivial sort Is narrated to friends as 01 n a prophecy of future greatness When he kicks his mother It Is a sign he Is I going to be b president 3 Mrs van Hebrides Is an up to date mother strong on the scientific man management of oC children She has read papers time and again before the clubs club on the proper of chil children dren particularly the children of oC the poor Consequently we may expect no flaws nawl In Mn van an Hebrides family discipline Shi makes young go to bed every night at 1 This Is III the manner of It Mrs Irs van H Now r go to tobed tobed bed right straight this minute Dont you call me another time tonight I 1 wont answer If IC you OU do Two minutes pan pall Thi Th yell la II heard No answer Loud Louder er It come There Is Iii a Ii threat In It Mammal Shut up Again the cry cr louder clearer deadlier then than before Mrs Ir van nn up I say sa I tell you ou I ak to ta you ou again tonight The think Im abusing him Charles I 1 must go to him Maybe hes he really III Mrs Ir Van v n H II approaches cot of at th the Infant phe phenomenon phenomenon I 1 tell you OU Id spank you If It I 1 had to come In here tonight 7 What do you ou want 7 Phenomenon blubbers Its lote IDU some som I want my mr hobbyhorse In bed with me Mrs Mra van H lugs In that dilapidated animal him upon the bed and says saYI In commanding tones tonIs Dont Jont you ou call me again a aln or Ill knock the head ort orf you I cUt eat my m dinner for your our noise nolee Five minutes of oC silence and peace Then the same ume Infantile note I want some water No answer at first Again the cry and again no answer Then Mamma Iamma Im choking If It you ou dont bring m n drink of oC water Ill Jump out of oC the window i Mrs van In Hebrides runs rune In In terror The Infant phenomenon Is II laughing F defiantly In her face Cace She brings him the water then feeble slaps are heard followed by Ly howls f Now says 88 his hll mother very er firmly If IC you ou make one bit more noise tonight Ill lock you In the closet In the dark daik t Three minutes of peace then E i Mamma I forgot to kin you rood good goodnight night I mutt must kits kl you OU rood good night 1 I wont answer you Stay Sta where 1 you ou are areA l lA A leap a rush ru h and hurls Into his hili mothers arms like a I catapult spilling coffee upon her light rl dress and a d nearly knocking her over t At 10 clork 0 the Infant phenomenon i Is sti III I t capering around jike a young t monkey keeping It up with all the family and the guests It Is a sign he c cwill will be r |