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Show U l i e it s . f M As ah old marvMark Twain visited his boyhood home in Hannibal, Mo., where he first saw the Mississippi steamboats he Fifty years ago, America lost its greatest humorist here. are countless wonderful quotations w in ine woncs or raare iwam, someuraes mis'. ... tt. i : serious, sumeumes iuhhv, uiuj . uncu x heavenly mixture of both. Everyone knows this, and everyone has his favorites. I have selected a number that have particularly refreshed me, or have made me pause and think; most of them have made me grin, and some have made me guffaw. It is remarkable what a store of wisdom-anhumor this one man had in him, and what a marvelously fresh sense of the English language he retained until the very day of his death 50 on April 21, 1910. years-ag. : bui'tumiimslvill endure the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon "a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training, and experience, it will always be an: opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the ; s1 d monkey." later piloted and wrote about preferably lying alwaysas you II see in this : sampling do. None of the other boys, could ever make On Himself "Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits." "To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble." "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example." V "If I had the remaking of man, he wouldn't have any conscience. It is one of the most disagreeable things connected -- with-a person; -- and although it certainly does a great deal of good, it cannot be said to pay, in the long run; it would be much better to.have less good and more comfort. Stilly this is only my opinion, and I am only one man; others, with less experience, may think differently. They have a right to their view. I only stand to this: I have noticed my conscience for many years, and I know it is more trouble and bother to me than anything else I started -- . "The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know . it because I have tested it." . . "In my early manhood and in middle life, I used to" vex myself, with reforms every now and then. And I never had occasion; to regret . these divergencies for, whether the resulting deprivations were long or short, the rewarding pleasure which I got out of the vice when I returned to it always paid me for all that it cost." with."- ; ' - naturally rJike On Politics and Government "An earthly despotism would be the absolutely perfect earthly government, if the conditions were the same, namely, the despot the perfectest individual of the human race, and his lease of life perpetual. But as a perishable" perfect man must die and leave his despotism in the hands" of .an imperfect successor, an earthly' despotism is not merely a bad. form of government, it is the worst form that is possible.". us of : the. otter. Some- "MarLJs.thei)nly, needs to." animal" that blushes: Or - On the Nature of Man - ' ' "I believe that our Heavenly ' Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even ; Family Weekly, April 17, 1960 On Vice and Virtue "Once there was a good little boy by the .name of Jacob Blivens. He always obeyed his parents, no matter., how .absurd, and unreasonable their demands were; and he always learned his book, and never was late at Sabbath school. He would not play hookey, even when his sober judgment told him it was the most profitable thing he could . - . . r . , "Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There .is no humor "in heaven. ' times it has seemed to me that I would give worlds if I could retain my facts; but it cannot be. The ..more l calk,.up.the .SQurces, and the tighter, I get, the more I leak wisdom." ... ........ . - ' . "Yes,; take it all around, there is quite a good rdeal of information in the book. I regret this very much'-bu- t really it could not be helped: informa--tio- n ottar of roses out i - "Adam was but humanthis explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent" them unwise, and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful If a man should challenge me now I would go to that man and take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot and ki him." appearstotewout-of-m- - principal- "I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider the-precio- - the world should throw away so many good things merely because they are unwholesome. I doubtitGod has given us any refreshment which,, taken in moderation, is unwholesome, except microbes. Yet" there"! are! people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is! It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry." . "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the -difference between a dog and a man." 1 e - . t " that . . - of boy out, he acted so strangely." . o, in bed. r "It is by the goodness of God that in our coun-tr- y we have those three "unspeakably Tprecious AmgsFfredoni of speech, freedom of conscience,, and the prudence never to practice either of them." .. , ' - "It could probably be. shown by figures that there is no distinctly natjyp Amnra" class except Congress." crir'"' "In statesmanship, get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities." ; , |