OCR Text |
Show 66 TT TT jf,& Fn cRcru a widow or widower remarry? become more and more apparent each day. example, I once again have a in every sense of the word. I love my children and I think I get along with them reasonably well. But I have no desire to live with them, even though I know they would take me probably gladly at first. But our lives are entirely different. I would find difficulty adjusting to theirs, and I would have no right to expect them to adjust to mine. So for some years I lived alone and didn't particularly like it. To someone who has been used to daily companionship, living alone can be extremely difficult. Now, neither Betty nor I needs to live alone; we've made a new home, and a happy one, together. Then, I've found peace of mind as far as my health is concerned. Since my first wife died, I've been constantly fearful of an illness so serious that I couldn't take care of myself. I know this same problem troubled Betty. Before we married, sickness might have caused severely taxing problems for the children at a time when they are trying to raise youngsters of their own. This is no longer a worry. Only the unlikely possibility that Betty and I would become ill at the same time could cause difficulty. Otherwise, we can care for each other and have, a number of times. This gives both of us a highly desirable sense of independence from our children. We have also discovered that as the fear of sickness disappeared, so. too, did the recurring physical difficulties we were experiencing. Now we not only enjoy freedom from fear, but much better health as well. which to me For home Anonymous Ijast year l wrote two ratner remarkable letters to my married son and daughter. In them, I asked their permission to get married! My first wife the mother of my two children died five years ago. I loved her very much, and so. too. did my son and daughter. I felt almost as if I were violating some sort of sacred trust by wanting to marry again. I think if there had been so much as a hint of displeasure in my children's attitude when they heard the news, I would have given up the idea. Thank goodness there wasn't. Their congratulations were sincere and en thusiastic. And I'm especially grateful now a year later because I've found peace and contentment in a new life with a new wife, something I wouldn't have thought possible a few years ago. I've learned to love again in a dif- 6 Family Werkly. Mar 24. 1957 ferent way, perhaps, but it has become very clear to me that capacity for love isn't necessarily restricted to a person, a place, or an age. Just as important, I've learned that this new feeling I know casts no discredit on the wonderful woman with whom I shared most of my life. My feeling toward her hasn't changed at all; I've simply quit limiting my capacity for affection and learned that this is a two-wa- y street that by giving of my time, possessions, attention, and affection I can find a new and important and enlarged fulfillment in later life. This was a very difficult tiling for me to see before I remarried, and even for a long time afterward. When I expressed these misgivings to my daughter one day, she said: "Look, Dad. the most important thing in the world to Mother was your hap piness, and I'm sure it still is. If this new life makes you happy especially by helping make someone else happy then I know Mom would be all for it. Think it over, and I'm sure you'll feel the same way." was really the turning point. Betty was an old friend I had known many years. She was a widow who had been very fond of her husband, a really fine man who also died about five years ago. Betty probably was experiencing the same misgivings I felt. Quite likely we worked out of them together. Now I can recommend falling in love again as a rewarding experience. I can also recommend it as an important source of vitality, renewed interest, and happiness in later life. And it has a great many practical advantages, too. My new wife 01 we orhadtheto most meet ticklish problems was finances. Yet we feel we have worked it out so everyone concerned will benefit. I'm not a pauper, nor is Betty. But even though both of us are reasonably we could ill afford individually the luxury of travel and other recreation that both of us enjoy. Together, it's a different story. Each of us had a house, a car, home furnishings, and similar possessions where duplication was unnecessary and often clumsy. We discussed these things well-fixe- d, |