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Show DAILY D6 Eating 101: Nixon Learn I DEAR noticed that many educated people use a kruie only to cut their food and use their fingers to nudge food onto their fork. They do it during the entire meal, not only to finish the last morsel on their plate. Is that ever proper? I realize that there are more important things to be concerned about, but it has been a concern of mine for a while. GENTLE READER What has puzzled Miss Manners for a good while is why anyone is astonished when bright, edu cated people don't eat properly. Have you never been in a college dining hall? DEAR MISS MANNERS In the family in which I was raised (my grandparents were immigrants to the United States), we were taught that it is impolite to speak in a foreign language in the presence of nonspeakers who are unable to understand what you are saying. In recent years, it has become commonplace for sales clerks, wait staff, bank tellers and other employees in service industries to converse in foreign languages in the presence of customers and other employees who do not understand what is being said. Similarly, one often hears customers speaking in foreign languages in front of sales clerks or other workers who are nonspeakers, as well as friends holding conversations with one another or family members in a foreign language in front of other nonspeakers. Is my understanding of this rule of etiquette incorrect? Would you please be so kind as to suggest a polite response that one could make when bewildered by, and left out of, a conversation in a foreign language taking place in one's presence? GENTLE READER The etiquette in this situation should not be foreign to anyone. Pointedly excluding someone who belongs in the conversation has always been recognized as rude, and so has pointedly intruding into conversations in which one doesn't belong. These are more commonly known as snubbing and nosi-nes- s. So Miss Manners agrees that relatives or friends should avoid speaking a foreign language in front of Friday, May 30, 2008 put it, "She had reached a point where we Kathy Nixon is also confident of her thought she was ready to meet the world." daughter's ability in the kitchea "She's And ready to move in with nine other completed culinary schooL She knows her stuff." (Nixon went to Kitchen Academy, people angling for the same big prize. in Hollywood, Calif., straight from BYU, Mixing elements of CBS reality staple "Survivor" and MTV's The Real World," and finished her trailing there earlier this The Next Food Network Star" requires year.) The biggest factor weighing against her participants to live together under the same roof and compete in a series of daughter, Kathy Nixon said, is probably lack of experience. "Some of the other contests "challenges," designed to test both their culinary ingepeople have been in the food industry," she said, "for longer than Kelsey has been pre-senuity and their potential Continued from DJ to use a knife MtSS MANNERS HERALD Robert Walz, an associate professor of broadcast journalism at BYU and reporter for Sidt Lake City's KTVX Channel 4, said that Nixon is one of the most ambitious and energetic students he's taught. "I used to tell her all the time," Walz said, " 'Kelsey, some day when I'm in the rest home, I'm going to be telling people Kelsey Nixon was my student.' ability. That will be like telling people Oprah The point of the challenges isnt neceswas my student." sarily for the contestants to produce a specific result. Instead, the judges want to see You have to really want that kind of success to achieve it, and Nixon's mother, how they respond in stressful situations, and what sort of creativity they can musKathy Nixon, said her daughter is nothter in response to a few broad guidelines. ing if not determined. "If she has a goal," "We try to make the challenges as Kathy Nixon said, "she finds a way to tough as we can," said Tuschman, "We Walz saw it the time that Nixon showed keep upping the bar, so that they have to show that they have a higher and higher up to a cooking demonstration at BYU after staying up all night to bake 500 level, each episode, of creativity and cookcookies. "She told me, T made one for ev ing skills." " Nixon said that it took all of her eryone, to hand out at their table,' Walz said. "That's just the kind of person she to keep pace. And she had is." no idea what to expect each time a new Kathy Nixon remembered her daughchallenge was revealed. "Before I went on ter's deciding to become an intern for the show, I honestly brainstormed what I style maven Martha Stewart. "There were thought the challenges would be," Nixon no postings for any kind of internship," said. "I had a list of 15 things, and I wasn't Kathy Nixon said. "She wanted to work right about any of them." for Martha Stewart, so she found a way And you cant overlook that tiny little to get herself an internship," Two sumdetail of putting up with nine strangers', mers in a row, actually. er, stuff. What's it like to move in with nine brand-nehousemates at the same time? "Absolutely crazy," Nixon said. "At 'Ready to meet the world' first it was really great, it was like a big That same relentless focus is what landsleepover every night." ed Nixon, a native of North Ogden and the And after that? "Things became more eldest of her parents' three children, in the difficult," Nixon said. fourth season of "The Next Food Network Star," after being turned down each of the Who's really that happy? previous three years. Nixon was surprised to finally be choshow on the has their own Everyone sen "I really wasn't expecting it," she set of skills. Kathy Nixon doesn't know said, "because I hadn't been chosen in the anything at all, she said, about how things she has past." but thinks it may have helped her turned out for her daughter e cause that she got a interview a gut instinct that Kelsey did well but audition process. thinks she was well prepared on a couple during the fourth-seaso- n Bob Tuschman, a Food Network senior of different fronts. vice president who's also a member of "She's very good in front of a camera," "The Next Food Network Star's" "AmeriKathy Nixon said, thanks in no small can Idol'-styl- e panel of judges, said that part to those 100 episodes of "Kelsey's the search committee had actually kept Kitchea" "I would say that's probably her track of Nixon since her first audition. strong point." You might even say that "We were always charmed by her poise comes naturally to Nixon, a lifelong energy and by her passion for food," Tus- dancer who somehow found time to star chman said. It was only a matter of time. with the Cougarettes, BYlFs precision When Nixon came up for consideration dance team, amid all of her other college commitments. again at the end of 2007, as Tuschman nt Judith Martin Miss Manners nonspeakers if they can, and if they cannot, they should at least apologize and get someone to translate what they are saying. The recourse for someone who is left out is to say pleasantly, "I'm sorry, I donl understand, and I would very much like to. Could someone help me, please?" (And if she is a new daughter-in-law, against whom this technique is not uncommon, she should take secret language lessons and suddenly shock them into worrying what they might have been saying that she had quietly understood.) But you are lumping this sort of thing with nonsocial situations among people who seem to be minding their own business. What difference is it what language they are speaking when they are not addressing you? DEAR MISS MANNERS When you receive an invitation to an adult birthday party, should you RSVP if you cannot attend? GENTLE READER Or leave the hosts wondering if you received the invitation, dismissed it as unworthy of attention, or plan to drop by with six of your own friends? "Rsvp" is a French abbreviation for "Respond, please." And never mind that the French always say "if you Miss Manners asplease" sures you that the "if" does not make it optionaL Readers may write to Miss Manners at MissManners unitedmedia.com, or via postal mail at United Media, 200 Madison Ave., 4th Floor, New York, NY 10016. Miss Manners's newest book is "No Vulgar Hotel: The Desire and Pursuit of Venice," written under her real name, Judith Martin. face-to-fac- 'Sex' that "Sex and the City" has forged with its largely female audience. Ardent devotees do, Continued from Dl indeed, think of Carrie and "I expect it to be like getcharcompany as their BFFs acters in which they see pieces ting together with people you of themselves andor someone haven't seen in a long time. You want to know what close to them. "Over time, you get to know they've been up to," says Donna Lynn Rhodes of Walnut exactly how they're going to Creek, Calif . "At first it might react in certain situations," be a little awkward. But then says Rhodes, who admits she it will be like just old times and has watched the film trailer "at least 25 times." you'll wonder why you didn't It's a relationship that began get together sooner." in 1998, when "Sex and the Her words speak to the City" debuted on HBO in all its remarkably intense bond brazen glory. Based on the titillating musings of relationship columnist Candace Bushnell, it featured glamorously dressed (and often undressed), women chatting ever so frankly about their sexual escapades. "I remember watching it potty-mouth- alive." While admitting that the show "on every level" was much harder than she'd thought it would be, Nixon said her experience with "Kelsey's Kitchen" was definitely a saving grace. "I spent four years in front of a camera," she said, "so that was very comfortable for me." One thing she'd expected to be a big asset, however, ended up being something of a roadblock. "I am a genuinely happy person 99 percent of the time," Nixon said "I dont get frustrated, I dont get flustered." And other people dont, or didn't, completely believe it. On a fairly consistent basis, Nixon said, the other contestants and judges were at least a little bit suspicious of her always happy, always cheerful, always upbeat attitude. "I went in there thinking that my personality would be my greatest strength," Nixon said, "and it was definitely my biggest hurdle." While the TV world waits to find out whether Kelsey Nixon will be "The Next Food Network Star," Nixon herself is busy with other things. She's engaged to be married "We met as freshmen at BYU," she said. "It's, like, the classic Couand cheerfully (of course) gar story." busy keeping her career on track. (She spoke with the Daily Herald by cell phone from Los Angeles.) And, wherever she is, she's probably hungry for some frozen yogurt. She ate it all the time in college and said that the kind you can buy at Maverik gas stations is her favorite. There might also be a vintage Julia Childs cooking show in her DVD player Nixon considers the legendary TV chef a role model and recently purchased DVDs of all of her shows. Someday, another rising star of the culinary world just might be thinking about Kelsey Nixon the same way. "I think Kelsey is an extremely talented young woman," Tuschman said. "I think she's going to do really incredible things with her life." with my boyfriend, and he was stunned to learn that I had conversations about sex just like that with my girlfriend," says Sarah Boland of Concord, Calif. "It was great to finally see that kind of female perspective on TV." "When I first saw it, I was a little shocked," says Elise Wang of Danville. "But it was a good shock." "I just thought it was fun and gutsy," adds Celeste Ramos, a fan from Oakland. Over time, millions became attached to lovelorn Carrie, hedonistic Samantha, acerbic Miranda and prim Charlotte. They followed them through "toxic bachelors" and "model-izers,- " and through countless sessions of saucy banter devoted to topics ranging from whether size matters to the art of faking an orgasm. Much of the naughtiness was embodied in Cattrall's Samantha, who, as one writer pointed out, "sampled men like finger food." "1 loved how she could do what I could not," says Wang. "She was a strong, confident, independent woman who had sex like a man. I said, 'Good for her. Go for it!' " Then again, "Sex and the City" ultimately was about so much more than sex. "It was the first show I ever saw that truly delved into our natural fear of men and how scary it is for us to deal with them," says Chris Marx of American Canyon, Calif .. "Things like: 'Is my butt too big? Does my hair look OK? Will his friends like me? Will I break a heel?" By the time you walk out the door, you're lugging a suitcase full of insecurities and the show just nailed that." Do you feel like you're hearing in a fish bowl? t m INTUiS" Er Li its a ru I Experience the open-fi- t The INTUIS integrates select key technologies in reliability and quality. With proprietary technologies to protect from ear wax, sweat, and moisture, as well as manufacturing innovations to ensure long-terperformance, no other comparable solution offers as much as INTUIS. 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