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Show Lifeless 'Body' Rick Bentley THE FRESNO BEE a poor choice for Longoria Parker Review (FRESNO. CAUF.) producers of the new romantic comedy Her Dead Body" have made it far too easy to talk about how painfully bad their movie is. At least they could have tried to make reviewing it a challenge. In the biggest waste of time in the "ghost comedy" genre since Bill Cosby's "Ghost Dad" it's been 18 years! Eva Longoria Parker plays Kate, a desperate spirit who was rudely evicted from her body in a comical wedding-da- y mishap. So it's off to the sweet hereafter, except that Kate can't cross over until she takes care of unfinished business. Those dead person rule makers they're sticklers for prop- The . erly finished business! Let's hope nothing happens to Longoria Parker. She might have to walk the Earth until she apologizes to everyone who has the misfortune of seeing this film. Getting back to the movie: No one can understand why Kate's fiance, Henry (Paul Rudd), is still moping around a year later. Whatever the time frame is for forgetting that got crushed your bride-to-b- e by a giant ice sculpture, Henry's family and friends are convinced he's exceeded it. -- Over Her Dead Body "V Director: ieff Lowell Cast Ifva Longoria Parker, Lake Bell, Paul Rudd, Lindsay Sloane Running time: 1 hr.,41 jnin. 3 for sexual content Rating: and language PG-1- Location: Opens Friday at theaters everywhere X V 4k ? v i If'" ; His sister Chloe (Lindsay v Sloane) pushes Henry into a meeting with Ashley (Lake Bell), a psychic caterer. Ehloe wants tne psyenic to tell Henry that he should move on wift i his life. Only, much to Ashlev's aui yi lac, one ai.iuuijr nuuvca contact with Kate. And, not at all to anyone's surprise, Kate is Kate Eva Longoria Parker, left ticked that Ashley and Henry have struck a couple of romantic sparks. This means war, or gloves sounds like fun, then it's at least a series of supposedly your funeraL "Over Her Dead Body" isn't comedic mangled hauntings that are intended to "save" even good enough to be a bad TV comedy. The jokes have Henry from Ashley. If you think listening to been done before. The casting Longoria Parker recite a list of is all wrong. Longoria Parker her favorite colors, seeing Bell should have opted to play the act like a raving idiot when she psychic role. It would have runs naked from the showers been more of a stretch than into a busy gym, or watching's just playing a dearly departed Sloane's character steal plastic knockof f of her "Desperate - ' f i t DALE - U ROBINETTEGold Circle Films and Henry Paul Rudd in "Over Her Dead Body. " Housewives" persona. Rudd turns in a decidedly comalike performance. You'd scarcely be able to tell whether Henry is grieving or falling in love, if one of the other characters didn't helpfully announce whatever emotion Rudd is attempting to communicate. Sloane is likeable, but with no real purpose to her presence in the movie. Bell, on the other hand, has both a knack for handling comedy and plenty of opportunities to demonstrate it. It isn't her fault that the script is generally as lifeless as Casper the Friendly Ghost. If anyone suggests "Hey, we should go see the new Eva Longoria Parker film," just say "Over her dead body." And mine. And yours. Oh! The After 4 movies in 12 months, Jessica Alba eyes motherhood tion to work all the time have made her an easy target of the resentful And critics. Many of her recent films haven't earned Alba learned a little the best reviews, prompting Jessica about acting the Golden Raspberry Foundawhen she did tion to nominate her for three the TV show that made her a "Razzies" this year. star, James Cameron's "Dark But they we won't have Angel." r, Alba to kick around as much, g workouts, very soon. She's pregnant, and every day, for two years," if nothing else that will cut back sci-f- i recent pictures "Awake," she says of the 200O-200on her productivity. . "Good Luck Chuck" and "Fanseries that had her playing a t "I don't know if I'll want to tastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfsuper-buf- f super warrior, all JOSEPH LEDERERLionsgate er" with a horror movie. curves and spandex. go straight back to work after "I'm a fan of the genre," she having the baby, or not," she Tough? Sure. But that was Sydney Wells Jessica Alba in says of the child she is expectsays. "But not those movies nothing compared to what she "The Eye." where women are just victims, ing with Cash Warrea "We rehad to put herself through for "Then, I visited the New Mexico School for the Blind her latest, "The Eye," which ally are just winging it. I have you know. Tortured or whatis a no This ever. and the in and blind She hard a this just plan, no idea how I'm going good Impaired Alba, life," Visually opens Friday. says my plays to work the career around Braille Institute's Los Angeles's violinist who has her sight 26. "Every orchestra musician ghost story, with a this motherhood thing. I do new twist. Scary!" I talked with told me, 'Oh, it's sight center to learn about restored, only to find that she know this, though. Whatever Alba's frequent inclusion now sees dead people, in addithe hardest instrument to play,' blindness, to observe. I choose to do, professionally, on lists such as People's "50 "I met this great girl, Jessica, tion to the living ones. She had and they were right. Everyit'll have to be something I'm Most Beautiful" and Playboy, a blind student at Boston Unito be convincingly musical. She thing was a challenge, from had to be convincingly blind. the positioning of the violin on versity, followed her for a long Maxim, E! and Stuff's "world's so passionate about that I can't not do it." sexiest" and her determina time. Blindness is not a limita "I've never done anything my neck to bowing. And I'm Roger Moore THE ORLANDO SENTINEL J "Three-hour-lon- v having to learn to do this with my eyes dosed!" For the fourth Alba movie to come out in the last 12 months, she had to find a little prep time. And not just to watch the film 2002 Japanese she was remaking, either. "The directors David Moreau and Xavier Palud are huge classical music fans. First off, they gave me all these Mozart and Beethoven CDs to listen to. ... Then, I took six months of violin lessons. That was the killer. Vibrato just, oh, it gave me the hardest time. tion to her, not that I could telL She was focused, meticulous, wants to be face to face with you when you talk. If she's wearing sunglasses, you can't even tell she's blind. She speaks three languages and has a level of determination about her that just inspired me." All of that because Alba wanted to follow her three most |