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Show D2 D D'Arcy Doran d I Judith Martin Missanners We intend to have a minister preside and to be as lawfully joined as possible, but I do not feel as if this is something I should have to justify to others; nor do I feel my wedding must be some sort of political statement. I've contemplated appropriate responses, such as, "Oh, of course not," but I worry that will only lead to further questions. What is a proper, polite and effective response to a question about my pending marriage that I do not wish to answer? Prec-- . GENTLE READER edent here is that most people love to talk about their wedding plans and take the slightest show of interest as license to go on and on until others are weak with boredom. There is no reason that you cannot achieve this effect. Just follow Miss Manners' rule of answering the question you want to deal with rather than the one that was asked. It got her through school. "Right now, we're talking about the cake," you might say. "He likes chocolate, but one of my aunts is allergic to chocolate, so I'm thinking that maybe we should have cake that she can eat, but chocolate pastries on the side for those I am a gay man planning to become engaged in the near future.jjhile I'm looking forward to getting married, I am dreading the questions from friends and family about the legality of the wedding, such as "Are you going to go to Massachusetts?" or "Is that legal in Maryland yet?" At best, the questions throw cold water on what should otherwise be a joyful and congratulatory moment. At worst, it puts our attention on the rather painful subject of marriage Equality. I do not wish to sound angry or confrontational in my reply by saying something like, "No, did you travel to a strange state to get married?" or "Well, I'm not waiting around for Maryland to get its act together!" who want them." Readers may write to Miss Manners at MissManners unitedmedia.com, or via postal mail at United Media, 200 Madison Ave., 4th Floor, New York, NY 10016. Miss Manners's newest book is "No Vulgar Hotel: TheJDesire and Pursuit of Venice." - reveals through is , """-""- , free new hoce for t .' 1 1 disc pain suffer- ers. Research has proven that FDA fm ,m.. fcT Friday. January 18, s one-albu- he can't hog the outlet to charge his Lodging 2008 lion a year. "Shine a Light" was filmed during a Rolling Stones performance at New York's Beacon Theatre in autumn 2006. It includes appearances by Buddy Guy, the White Stripes' Jack White and Christina Agu-ilerIt will also include rarely seen archival footage of the a. band. The film, which is distributed by Paramount in the U.S. and ' 20th Century Fox in Britain, will open the Berlin International Film Festival on Feb. 7. It is expected to be released in theaters in April. the Net: The Rolling Stones: On http:www.rollingstones. com That may have been the same year that someone broke the bed. "I don't think we got our deposit back that year." But it's not all horror stories. The forced democracy and domesticity has a sweet, folksy upside too. Usually, the first coworkers to arrive hit the local supermarket to stock the fridge and pantry in the company condo. "Last year, we found Warner Independent's grocery list in the produce section when we were doing our shopping," says Michael Lawson, senior vice president of independent film publicity firm, mPRm. "It was so Sundance to read 'Get health bars for me' and T want root beer.' " Of course, you won't find Harvey Weinstein sharing Hot Pockets with his work brethren. Like most CEOs and power players, he stays in a suite at the posh Stein Ericksen lodge. Cassian Elwes, a William Morris agent who heads up the agency's independent film division, opts for a hotel room on Main Street. "I don't want to tell you which one because I want to be able to get a room next year," he says. In coming years, the great divide among power brokers and struggling directors will widen when the St. Regis opens in 2008 and Montage resort follows in 2010. Between the two new properties, there will be at least an additional 500 rooms available in Park City, and they will book up faster than the Hotel du Cap during Cannes. Will this sliver of democratization imposed on Hollywood melt away soon? Stay tuned. In the meantime, it's survival of the smoothest "I just had a friend who's a ask if he can crash with me next week," says Sharon Swart, a senior editor who covers the indie film scene for Variety. "He said, 'I will stay on the floor and give you foot massages.' " Black-Berr- Sometimes, however, a rogue organism who disrupts the flow. "I had a vate bedroom. Ideally. at Our condo wanted to throw "We're going to see movies from 8 in the every night," says one film publicity tive, who asked to remain nameless. "I was morning until midnight every day for six like, 'It's almost 4 a.m. Are you making days," says Guy Stodel, senior vice president of acquisitions and for breakfast for people?' " New Line. "People get cranky. People start Like contestants on "Survivor," the colleagues glowered behind her back and crying. We don't share bathrooms." For those with less equitable accomarranged for a tribal meeting.r"Frat girl" as she was secretly called by her roommodations, nabbing the primo room in a mates was told to stop playing hostess company condo is tantamount to bringing to the hangers-on- . enough business cards. The general rule dictates that the highest-leve- l Other domestic disputes haven't ended employee commandeers the master bedroom with with such civility. One publicist recalls suitcases being thrown out in the snow. An private bath. Rooms with fireplaces and king-siz- e beds go to the next level. You says he heard about an agent can trade your hot tub privileges for an who stoked a fire with a rival agent's down parka upgrade to a corner room with a balcony. A bedroom with a big plasma TV trumps In short, a house needs to decide unanimost amenities. mously on its status as a work bunker or a "The interns and usually get destination for blowouts. Word of a party of at Sundance spreads quicker than a nasty the sofas," says Jeff Vespa, flu in a sweat lodge. The most exclusive photo agency Wire Image, who booked condos for his staff of 85, making sure his fetes think live music and ruggedly bed count exceeds his head count. "It's not handsome bartenders happen at private chalets leased by talent agencies such as good for morale if people are sleeping on Endeavor or companies such as Ray-Bathe floor." Invitations go out weeks beforehand, but But when no hierarchy prevails, the on that night, anything goes. natives get ruthless. "I once worked at a studio where people were booking earlier Stories abound of inebriated andor amorous revelers overtaking couches, bearskin flights to arrive first and get the master bedroom," says Arianna Bocco, vice presirugs and bathtubs as impromptu sleeping dent of acquisitions and production for IFC quarters. Rumor has it that Paris Hilton Entertainment. "You get there and you showed up with a suitcase a few years back and crashed in a different condo stake your claim right away." That totem pole mentality the bigevery night, leaving a trail of forgotten ger the title, the bigger the bed trickles makeup in her wake. Jeff Hill, head of International House down to other household functions. Even in a remote mountain town, Hollywood func- of Publicity and a seasoned Sundance vet, recalls the one year when he hosted a bash tions as predictably as a complex marine in his company condo. "We couldn't get ecosystem. No one wants to be taking a bath when the CEO wakes up and needs the door open to a closet in the morning because a couple was still in there," he says. a shower. The less powerful agent knows Continued from Dl er after-parti- first-time- . cau(i 186 South 1100 East American Fork, UT 84003 DENTAL Townhomes In Salem IT Starting At $179,000 entitled, "New Breakthrough in v I t. Medical tech L r call nology" ? and listen to the e 24 hr ' toll-fre- approved recorded spinal has a high decompression for success rate treating de- in medical mes- sage for all the details or go to bilitating back pain including sciatica and multiple herniated discs. It looks like this breakthrough D your free report medi- cal technology I al break how. A ment. In a deal, Universal Music's labels around the world will release the "Shine a Light" soundtrack in March. The album will be released in Britain by Polydor Records. ASSOCIATED PRESS Family Dentistry technology, has lead to the most promising disc treatment today. For A new free report has recently been released that R Dr. Nick Groneman DMD "Slipped, Hernidfted, Or Bulging Disc Pain?" UTAH- E d many women, both middle age and younger, as they walk about on the streets, I find myself torn between : shock and dismay. I am very much for women's rights, but am conflicted when I see my""sisters" exercising their rights in such an outgoing way. I find myself wondering whether, in exercising their right to dress as they please, they have gone a little tod far. Have I gotten too conserva- tive in my middle age? GENTLE READER You have gotten confused. Dressing lewdly is not an expression of women's rights. Miss Manners commends you for dressing in good taste. But she assures you that the bad taste you observe has nothing whatsoever to do with claiming an equal right to run around with no underwear. DEAR MISS MANNERS H is a broader suggesting-thithing, but it's about one film, one soundtrack and had nothThe Rolling LONDON ing to do with their relationStones announced Thursday ship with the label," he said. they have signed a deal to "They're an EMI band." EMI has lost McCartney and release the soundtrack to "We are really proud to their Martin Scorsese-directeRadiohead, two of its biggest concert film through Universal be working with the Rolling acts, in the past year, while Music Group. others Stones, and so is everybody including Coldplay The move does not bode well in Universal Music globally," have expressed unhappiness Universal Music Group Interfor EMI Group, the label that with the label. has been the Stones' home for national chairman and chief EMI was bought by Terra 16 years, raising the possibility executive Lucian Grainge said. Firma Capital Partners last Universal Music Group is a that the band might follow year, and on Tuesday, the and Paul McCartney subsidiary of the French teleprivate equity firm announced and leave the embattled record communications giant Vivendi plans to cut as many as 2,000 SA. jobs, about a third of the company. EMI said its relationship "The band are looking company's work force, in a with the Stones was unaffected restructuring plan aimed at forward to working with Universal Music and are excited by the announcement, said reassuring its restless artists, about this new venture," the spokesman Andrew Dowler. countering plummeting CD "It's good spin: Universal are revenue and saving $400 mil Rolling Stones said in a state THE MISS MANNERS tend to be conservative in what I wear, but remember fondly dressing a little less conservatively in my younger, slimmer days, I wonder whether I have gotten too conservative in my fashion tastes when I see women my own age dressed in the revealing styles that younger women have adopted. Indeed, sometimes when it is very obvious that there are no undergarments hindering Y Rolling Stones sign deal for soundtrack to Scorsese concert film Women's lib is fully dressed DEAR am a middle-age- AIL www.911backpaininfo.com. 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