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Show J L FAMILIES EDITOR: TAWNY ARCHIBALD P. '.'JUST ASK THE DAILY HERALD (www.HarkTheHerald.com) 344-254- 3 THURSDAY. MAY 4. 2000 ! "I remember going in the morning (to the hospital). By KAREN HOAG The Daily Herald PROVO Everybody seemed so WlEDERHOLD Allowances teach kids resnonsihilitv x J transplant. Why so young? At birth she weighed 10 pounds, 6 ounces and was delivered with forceps, which affects the facial area. This may have damaged her eye. Or another possible reason is at age 3 12 she had chicken pox; maybe one pox was too near her eye and caused problems. Dear Drs. Mom and Dad: I have a question about giving my children an allowance. When I was growing up, my parents never gave me an allowance, but they always gave me small amounts of money when I asked for it. 7 During high school, I had a part-timjob and so didn't ask my parents for money. Of course, they always paid for the big things like clothes, shoes and stuff like that. I have neighbors who give their children a weekly allowance. Some of the neighbors make their children work for the allowance, while others just give money without demands. I was wondering what you think about . allowances and whether you think they should be earned or just given freely? As game with all that was going on." Heather says she was conscious when she went into the operating room at LDS Hospital, Salt Lake City, with all the bright lights; then she was told, "Count to 10." "I remember waking up and not being able to see," she says. "Patches were over my eyes for a week so my eye could heal. After that "they patched my good eye " so I'd have to use my right. Sometimes it (new cornea) may not work because of all the trauma." She still has the stuffed animal her mom gave her during Heather's hospital stay; it's a cat, her favorite animal. well-bab- y Dear Pare'nt: We give our children a weekly allowance. We do this so they will understand money and finances. We want our children to understand they can save money to get things they want. We also want them to realize the importance of handling money appropriately. tell them the allowance they get is not their pay for the work they; do around the house, but for them to have for items they may need or want, We explain to them they have chores around the house because everyone needs to have responsibility to do things to help in our home. However, we also have a rule that if a child does not do a chore heshe is responsible for, shehe will forfeit part of their allowance as a consequence. This has helped us in getting things done around the house and AMW - Lr. J f " 'V: JASON OLSON The metal patch with holes was for her right eye to keep the dirt out; the patch on her left eye helped her use her right one. Tiny 100 in all stitches By KAREN HOAG for in a year. stayed The Daily Herald folScrapes and bruises lowed Heather for many PROVO She still does years because "I thought I see n't Heather perfectly. was indestructible." An athWard had a corneal translete before her surgery, plant at age 4. It was perHeather and brother Jeff fect as transplants go. continued playing spftball, "Sometimes it doesn't go kickball and football as a natural eye," gays the together and with friends. 'This one had But reading was another in it "It to bumps hard astigmatism. was read, thing. My eyes weren't working hard to concentrate and I 'together. had headaches because I '' "The doctors did was concentrating so patching on me for three years; norrememHeather much," bers. "I'd do everything posmally it's done in three months." ' sible to avoid reading So she had lasik surgery because I was really slow." in her right eye two years Her mom helped her read Weekly Reader books. ago. Then the surgery was They'd buy supplemental experimental, especially on a transplant patient. See TRANSPLANT, C2 "I still don't see perfect : , , nr Uuu WW ly," Heather says. "Before it ' was fuzzy, a white haze. Now I can see if someone's walking in front of me." She remembers taking . medication for. years. Infections like pink eye would be devastating," she notes. "So if pink eye was going around the elementary school, I'd just stay home." She tried contact lenses before the lasik surgery and she may go back to hard contacts. "It's just something you think will improve," she says. Heather doesn't have a driver's license. "I took drivers ed. in high school but I had trouble focusing. Now it's better, I used to have blackouts for about five seconds," llaald anti-rejectio- n it's That warned her time to do something else. She was concentrating too much on one thing, so she needed to change the activity. "My brain was telling me " 'enough,' she says. She hasn't had blackouts in four years. body just adjusts. I'm ready to try again for a driver's license," she says and adds, "One of the hardest things is to go someplace new and they don't know your circumstances. "When you .tell people you don't have a driver's license they wonder about you. They think if you physically can't do something, something's wrong mentally." Heather has seen (() doctors in her' short lifetime; See RECOVERY, ( 2 (yU!IJl& It's all in your mind: Mental illness is a difficult battle. The three , most common diagnoses for mental illness include depression, " schizophrenia and bi polar illnesses. Utah State Hospital cared for 343 patients in 1999, including some children. ous ways to teach children responsibility around the house and good money management skills, we have chosen chores and ing an allowance as a way to accomplish these goals. We have been able to teach-our children about domestic chores and hopefully this will help them later in life. We didn't always give an allowance because we couldn't always afford it, but when we started giving them money, we explained to our children what we wanted to do and why and asked for their support. Our counsel to any parent wanting to start an allowance is to decide what the benefits and downfalls are for your family. If you implement an allowance, decide what it should pay for before you begin. Paul and Terie 374-8C2- l)ail son Eero at her apartment in Provo, Heather What a sight: Heather Ward holds her had a cornea transplant 18 years ago, but she says there are still lifestyle adjustments. in teaching our children , money management. We have heard both pros and cons about allowances , and about expecting children to do chores. This is a personal choice for each parent to make. While there may be vari- Wiederhold, Ph.D.s, a husband and wife psychologist team, are parents of six children. Send your ques tions or comments to drmomdrdadjuno.com, or write them at 1443 E. 920 South, Provo UT 84606 or call them at Ilk- - Recoverer visited 60 doctors her mom took Heather to yearly clinics, the doctor noticed her right eye was going blurry; the cornea helps you focus. "They monitored it for awhile and tried drops to see if it was an infection," Heather remembers being told. It took awhile to decide her blurry vision wasn't an infection.. Her eye was degenerating. Heather, who is now Heather Ward, wife of Jonathan, mother to Joseph Eero, and an April graduate of BYU, says there was no other course but to have a corne'al transplant at age 4. ' They waited two months for a cornea, which she says isn't that long. "I don't remember much before the transplant '.'"' except having a lot of headaches before and after," she says. e ' rushed. I was almost amused; it was like a fun Heather Anderson just wanted to be like the other kids. But when you walk into kindergarten with a patch over one eye and a metal patch with holes in it over the other eye, it's hard not to be a little different. . "Besides, I'd cut my hair, so I had pretty short hair," Heather says. "I must, have looked pretty ridiculous." You see, Heather had just received a corneal Paul & Terie We C dL -- JASON Ol .SON Ik Daily lUr.ikl Mental illness : Study says many Utahns misunderstand By DIANA STAFFORD Daily Herald Correspondent PROVO Blue eyes set in unflawed porcelain skin, and a face framed with fine, flaxen hair gave her an air of frailty for all intents and purposes, Jill looked completely normal. The room at the Utah State Hospital she was in was devoid of personality, bare, almost cold A tenseness twitched in Jill. When she spoke, she spoke quietly and controlled, except for a tic that flickered under her eye. She wiped it away as one would a tear, gently using the knuckle of her index finger. "I was married for a week," she said. "My husband didn't even wait for the baby to come; he divorced me. I had her alone. She was . adopted. "My two babies were adopted. I've never seen them. I'd like to buy them something but 'they' say I can't; I don't have any money. ... One is almost 20 and I think the other is 21." The human mind is strong yet frail. Turmoil today, grief tomorrow. The one precipitates the other. Jill had been living in a Community Mental Health Program. She said she has occasional suicidal episodes, usually brought about by grief. She doesn't like to be alone. T "My boyfriends always leave me," she said. "I get upset." Jill feels she can deal with that by attempting to end her life. It was impossible to know if she understood the finality of suicide. , She doesn't remember her journey to Utah State Hospital. She only remembers sitting in a cab and t enjoying a smoke with her friends. She knows she tried to kill herself and somehow was rescued. She said it had happened before, . though this was her first stay at the state hospital. In a voice devoid of emotion, she explained how she attempted to commit suicide. "I saved up my medications and took them all at once," she said. She loves country music and dancing, and when you bring up the subject, she smiles. "1 love Garth Brooks and Loretta Lynn," she said. "I love to -- bowl and I love4he swimming pool. Jt's my birthday tomorrow, did you know that? "I have to go now," she said. "I have a class." With that, she was gone. Janina Chilton, the hospital's public information officer, said Jill falls into one of the three common diagnoses of mental illness (schizophrenia, depression and illnesses). Protocol and privacy laws prohibit her from suggesting which one. In the past 10 years, great strides have been made in the treatment of mental illness. Many illnesses that bombard the mind can be treated and controlled without dreadful side effects. Hut the field of mental illness is governed by narrow and sometimes antiquated laws. Treatment is cost ly and there still isoa stigma attached to diagnosis of mental illness. Chilton said in 1988 and 199,5. respectively, the State Division of Mental Health together with the University of Utah did a scientific-studof attitudes in Utah toward mental illness. The study incorporated the attitudes of more than 500 people. In the five years between the studies, attitudes have softened;' somewhat, but 35 percent of people questioned believe that mental illness is a byproduct of sinful behavior. Seventy percent of people ques- Sec ILLNESS. C2 |
