OCR Text |
Show CQMtJiT ni'x Thtouw locyncs 1 fcc ??cIn3 Pages E5, Bo j) """""J J jf I I i ' y M ( f f r0! 1 r" y ! H H ( - ' April 19, 1991 Surviving adolescence is difficult under the best of circumstances. Youth from all backgrounds face some similar problems, but there are also special challenges that lie in wait for... A r Ojw ir by Dave Lars en Hill AFB Family Ik, Support Center pril is the month of the military child. Most years the emphasis during this period is on young children, and appropriately so, since the earliest months and years are of such crucial importance in a child's process of development. In response to parental suggestions, however, the Hill AFB Family Support Center this year is focusing more on the second most important period in the life of a child and his or her parents adolescence. The teenage years are normally trying times for children as well as their parents. Furthermore, it may be an especially difficult time for military families. During puberty, children go through a variety of profound physical, mental, emotional and social changes. Amazing new hormones begin to flow. Teens' views of the world expand. Their view of self undergoes a radical reconstruction. Impatient idealism increases, along with their sensitivity to the opinions of peers. As a result they may become more critical of themselves, their parents and parental values. A natural desire for greater control of their lives and freedom from parental restraints combines with impulsiveness and a new sense of sexuality to create exciting challenges for both parent and teens. A moving experience - Typically during this identity crisis, friendships and social acceptance by peers of both sexes become increasingly important. Parental opinions become less important. An adolescent "crush" may seem like inconsequential "puppy love" to a parent, but to a teenager it feels like the real thing. It's no wonder that teenagers in military families are often deeply upset by military moves. Their range of emotion is illustrated often at the Family Support Center, "It was the first time we had lived in one place long enough to have good friends, and I was sad to leave them," said one. !iiJ cZ) LEh Lei teenager. Another noted, "I was mad at my parents taking me away from my friends just because of my dad's job." A third, "I was afraid. What if nobody in the new place liked me?" A struggle for control with Another area of natural conflict military families involves the issue of control. This issue is likely to arise with families in any segment of our society. However, in the military the problem may be accentuated. Officers and senior noncommissioned officers carry a mantle of authority that is well recognized by those junior in rank. Because of this mutual understanding, they become accustomed to being treated with a certain amount of respect and to have even implied orders or directives carried out, often without question, or at least without audible whining. However, teenagers, with their new world views, are sometimes not impressed by military rank. Furthermore, their desire for respect often rivals that of their parents. Meanwhile, Mother Nature is urging them on toward greater independence. As a result, they don't take orders well. At times they don't even listen well. They often have the audacity to argue a point. Some may even go A.W.O.L (absent without leave) for extended periods of time. The typical military response to this perceived loss of control is to clamp down, tighten up, issue orders and increase restrictions. The typical teenage response to that is to feel throttled, like their growth is being stunted. Unfortunately, this often leads to further frustration re- bellion. Considering these changes and challenges, it's no wonder the years are often marked by a decline in for both teenagers and their parents. Neither may feel as in control, competent, loved and appreciated during this period of time as before and after this period. Thank God it doesn't last forever. 13-1- 7 self-estee- m Helpful hints So what's a parent to do? How can you make this period easier on both you and your teenage son or daughter? You may want to consider the following four suggestions to help you and your teen through these trying times. Show them some respect. Think of your teenager as a young Rodney Dangerfield. Make the effort to really communicate. Make time to talk with your teenager, sincerely try to listen to what he or she is saying and understand what's really important to him or her. Help provide your teen positive opportunities for achievement, involvement and peer recognition. When your teen acts crazy, recognize that he or she is going through hard times. But again, it is important to keep in mind that it won't last forever, so enjoy it. There are not many experts on adolescents. However, if you would like to discuss your observations and concerns with other parents in similar circumstances call the Family Support Center today or stop by and check out a variety at of related books, articles, tapes, tips and ideas. You may be needing them sooner than you think. self-expressio- 777-5855488- 1, n, |