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Show r THE DAI L CHRONICLE UTAH Y THE CHRONICLE'S VIEW Ideally, T iey Aren t That Horn iogenoiis they certainly don't alike that's something. One of them is African Ameri- Well, can, One wore a tie that displayed sli the colors of the rainbow. Another is bald. That's about it. Although if one looks deeply into the words and ideas the presidentialvice-presidentla- l candidates for ASUU expressed during the second debate Thurs- ' day, one could distinguish soir.3 very telling distinctions between the candidates. The fact that two or was it three of the parties didn't know on what board the Trustees or the Regents the student president sits was very disconcerting. Many consider the' president's position and presence at Board .' of Trustees meetings to be the ' most important- facet, of the president's job. Since whoever gets elected will be the only student representative to sit on 'the most powerful, governing board of the university, it would be nice to know that person kner the system of higher education well enough to accurately distinguish between the Trustees, the Regents, the administration, the faculty, the students and the , ranchers who hang out on the " - " Sut tcaybe that was too much first week of to expect for the campaigning. Even the most prominent of differences between the candidates were Uill minuscule &nd virtually uanoticeable. Because the diversity of thought and of cthnicUy is one cf this cairpus' most exciting attributes, it would be tatber depressing if ell the candidates were as homogenous in their intellects as it has so far appeared. ' looking - deeply into the actions and words of ASUU isn't something roost students on this campus are very accustomed to doing. Most of the urns their statistics homework promises a much more enlightening adventure. Therefore, each candidate should lake it upon him or herself to distinguish his or bet qualities and originality ciuick- " I xjv IS " 'jfco ciulien:n or znuzz uveriv their ideas. SHANE -- CCAMMON Chronicle Editor in Thief .... few weeks ago, Bill Cosby came to town. He was doing what he seems to be resigned to do now sell JL jLjell-- products and, in this case, he was selling it to the Utah State Legislature. While it's depressing enough to see a truly funny man be reduced to such an unworthy purpose, what is even more disturbing about his visit is the coverage he got in the local press. Judging from the huge color photos, fat headline fonts and front-pag- e play in both The Salt Lake Tribune and the Deseret News, you would have thought it was 1985 and Cosby had just sold out Abravanel Hall. If you were an visitor, you might have thought Cosby had just been elected governor, which is good news if you're not an M, O out-of-sta- Unsigned editorials reflect the majority opinion of The Dally Utah Chronicle Editorial Baard. Editorial columns and letters to the editor are strictly the opinions of the author, The forum created on the Opinion Page is one based on vigorous debate, while at the same time demanding tolerance and respect. Material defamatory to an individual or group because of race, ethnic background, gender, appearance er sexual orientation will be edited or will not be published r TH& I The Media Is Choosing to Disappoin - ambitious itudt'ut leaders is tt? take thtlt inter 'candidate discussions to a new level to distance themselves from each other and, with ooiy a suikty.en ot' huriility. actively display the pride that, i.deaiiy. accompanies r 1 Jy. Next week tbii c.mpus viii look as if th giant sign&aker in ;bii ,lcy ihtcw up all over our green space aad' pretty", (ugly) buildings. Homogeneity will haunt even the racst ozipa&i ht propaganda placed bv the cands- - J d&fe.. te out-of-sta- te visitor. Around the same time, that intrepid news outlet 5 you know, the organization that erroneously KSL-Chann- calls itself "Eyewitness News" did some groundbreaking work on the stories that surely affect us all: pet eating disorders and the dangers of scented candles. I don't know about you, but I was terribly horrified when my kitty stopped eating her Meow Mix for a good two weeks. And then I lost sleep when she went on a big binge and purge. Throw that in with the stress I've been experiencing because those 30 scented candles I burn 24-- 7 are home in the suburbs, leaving fclacJc marks on my ranch-styl- e and I've been a total wreck. Open up your downtown paper or flip on the news on any given day and you'll be sure to find a tidal wave of tidbits on celebrity waistlines, Puff Daddy's trial, entire sections devoted to movie reviews and cooking, and the duo (which was the lead story in ThursElton day's Tribune). So what's the big deal? The big deal is that the downtown papers and television stations aren't giving us news. They're placating us with trivia, with nonsensical gossip, with wastes of breath and newsprint that should take a backseat to real news instead of showing up above the fold. I love the news. That's why I'm in this business. I'm defi- ge John-Emine- m el see HEWS, page 6 Yaks Provide a Good Example for Everyone CHRIS YEATES Chronicle Opinion Columnist the hall from The Daily Utah Office is the headquarters for Students of the University of Utah. I haven't a clue what goes on in there. Having asked around, I have encountered many people who, like myself, lapse into a catatonic state of drooling unawareness when someone even mentions ASUU. r- 1 don t know what it is, but, damn it, I want to. For three weeks now I've been reading about candidates, the upcoming elections, some sort of proposal and debates, and I want to care. I really do. But not knowing exactly what function ASUU performs, it makes being interested difficult First things first I thought perhaps the name of the entity itself might explain what it does. So I sat down and tried to figure out a few synonymous phrases that Across cJSpi!led might shed some light on this mysterious association. Perhaps Confederation of Scholars, Alliance of Future Alumni, or Big Room Representing Tuition Renderers. None of this experimentation helped, however, because, in my experience the majority of students have no idea what ASUU even is, let alone if it is a willing participant in this hodgepodge of people whose very name implies that every student is a compulsory member. But I have not digressed. Opening a newspaper, and reading at least a few lines from every article, the foremost concern that should be immediately apprehended is that the writers seem to relish quoting anyone less intelligent than a yak. That said, I shan't be quoting any yaks. Aside from pontificating profusely and placing a profound emphasis on alliterations, it is not my intention to be some sort of ridiculous t. but rather some sort of ridiculous person-pessimis- &Yaks have never, to my knowledge, performed a parade against pornography, They live their which is peaceful lives in peace well, if and when nothing is trying to eat them and yak-peac- e, are not concerned with clothing their private parts. However, before I begin to sound like an exhi CHRONICLE OPINION EDITOR SCOTT LEWIS bitionist, my feelings about nudity are not merely reduced to die naturalistic theories of man being an animal. It just seems to me that there could be more important things worth parading about. Drugs, abortion, education, rough toilet paper. Why is it that again this week I must find myself defending the institute of pornography? Is it because of the fallacious reasoning put forth by H.O.M.E. (Homes Offering Moral Empowerment)? Last fall they created a Pledge Against Pornography, and earlier this week they paraded about presenting their arguments in e nursery-lik- e rhymes and style sentiments. You will never hear a yak say, "We, the moral youth of Utah, pledge to scorn porn" or "Heck no porno." Nor will you ever hear a yak attempt to frighten you with a wayward, yet entirely erroneous, argument such as, "What would your mom say if she knew you were looking at porn?" What would your mom say if she knew you fondled your girlfriend in the back of her car? I mean, for goodness' sake, men are measured by the things their mothers don't know: Perhaps the most embarrassing statement made was by some Woods Cross kids who claimed that pornography is "anything people look at for sexual pleasure." Don. No more checking out boys, girls. No more ogling girls, boys. And while we're at it, short fifth-grad- LETTERSCHRONICLE.UTAH.EDU skirts and halter tops are pornographic, and so is any dream that brings about a nocturnal emission. e sentiments are not Unfortunately, stulimited to dents. This week, as the entire Mormon population knows, the Mormon church expressed its wish to be known not as the Mormon church but as the official (take a deep breath) "Church of Saints." Jesus Christ of Latter-da- y "I don't mind being called a Mormon," the article quotes Elder Oaks as saying, "but I don't want it said that I belong to the Mormon Church." Is there any analogous statement that won't sound ridiculous? I don't mind being called a human, but I don't want it said that I belong to the human race. I don't mind being a Nazi, but I don't want it said that I belong to the Nazi party. I don't mind being called a student at the U, but I don't want it said that I belong to ASUU. This new emphasis on "Christ" instead of "Mormon" is not to be misconstrued as an evasive maneuver regarding the theological disputations of the holy trinity. Nor, does it hope to shed a better light on the church during the Olympics. No. 'This decision is not claimed Elder Oaks. "We're only trying to do what the Lord wants us to do." I wonder if yak-lik- high-scho- right-oriente- d, ol result-oriented- ," see YAKS, page 6 581-704- 1 |
