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Show DAILY THE CHRONICLE UTAH "r Trlu r-J- With Brand New Games and a $100,000 Annual Intake, the Union Arcade Offers a Great Way to... C SHANE MCcmMON Chronicle Feature Editor ast week, there was a void at the A. Ray Olpin University Union. No, Pizza Hut didn't suddeniy close up shop, nor did the bowling alley shut its doors, but e instead of a hall full of machines, only dust bunnies and Coke stains remained. Reviewing the arcade was hard work, but a special research unit made up of employees of The Daily Utah Chronicle took time out of their busy schedules to blow a few quarters- OK, 100 quarters, if you want to be exact. It was hard work, but hey, somebody had to do it - WEAPONS: video-arcad- Many University of Utah students worried that the games would never return, that those wonderful, albeit expensive, relievers of stress had been removed forever. I know since was one of those. Hut thankfully, the machines were only missing for about one week. The break was not only good on the pocket book and the retinas, but also good in the entertainment long run. All of those games that had been played endlessly were finally replaced by some new arcades instead of playing Gauntlet for the hundredth time, suddenly there was Hydro. And that stupid soccer pir.ball game? Gonc.replaccd 1 by South Park. The machines were replaced not because of any juicy controversy or backroom dealings, says J. Ryck Luthi, the interim union director, but because the contract with the old vendor had expired. When that happens, Luthi explained, the bureaucracy begins. "The university requires us to put in a 'funding for project' request," he said. "We put together our needs and it's put up for bids. People bid and...a committee reviews the bids and then awards the contract to the bid that best meets our needs." Long story short, Plaza Entertainment barely beat out the old vendor and the rest is obvious: In came all the new machines. Video games are big business at the U. While video arcades across the country have experienced a decline in profits due to systems and person.il computers, Luthi says the video machines in the union still bring in around $100,000 of which the U gets half. nt "It's amazing," Luthi said as lie shook his head. "To put a dollar in those machines would irritate me to death...! but it's a major income for the recreation piogram." Luthi explained that the contract with Plaza Fnteitainmcnt stipulates that a certain amount of games must cost only 25 cents, to appeal more to students on a budget. Still, Luthi doesn't think students really think about how much the game costs since they usually don't plan on spending a good 15 minutes killing digitized evil clowns or playing tennis with British tennis hunk Tim Henman. "I don't think anyone comes to the union to play them," Luthi says, "but they do play when they pass through." So if you happen to be passing through the union and have a bunch of quarters burning through the pockets of the jeans you intend on washing with those very quarters, here is a review of which games you should definitely check out and which machines you should skip. CHRONICLE j THE f57 SHOOT-'EM-UP- S The first game (or last game) you notice when walking into the union is Carnevil. Clever pun p aside, Carnevil is your typical game that lacks any real excitement. Armed with a sawed-of- f shotgun, you must defend yourself from various scary looking carnie grubs, washed-u- p and very dead clowns and weird flyWhile some of the action takes place in ing bugs. ncato settings, such as on a roller coaster, Carnevil is pretty dull and not worth the two quarters it costs to play. To the right of Carnevil is Time Crisis II, which is known throughout the industry as the game Carnevil ripped off. Like Carnevil, Time p and reload-quic- k Crisis II is your typical kind of game, replete with the obligatory "don't shoot the hostages" bullcrap. Also annoying about Time Crisis II, which has been out for a number of years, is the moronic time limit you're given. If you don't hurry' and race through the level, some asinine bomb will explode or some stupid ambassador will get assassinated. If you've got a lot of spare change and you want to have some momentary glee, play Time Crisis II but kill the hostages instead of the bad guys. Area 5s Site 4 is the arcade's other shoot-'eup. It is as equally stupid at the others and hey, haven't we seen this killing aliens thing a million shoot-'em-u- shoot-em-u- m times already? SUCK ON MY DUST: THE RACING GAMES After wasting money on the now it's time to waste money on the racing games. One of the best games in the arcade is Read Burners, a motorcycle game that comes with plastic bikes and handle bars that really move. motorcycle games are hardly new, but Road Burners is more than just your wannabe game. typical speed-bik- e Instead of having a lame list of bullet bikes with Japanese and Italian names to choose from, scooters. you can race Harleys and Also, forget about being a faceless character: Road Burners allows you to be d everything from a girl to a skeleton shoot-'em-up- s, Sit-do- high-powere- d helmet-wearin- g pony-taile- to a flying monkey. Dave Hancock, editor in chief of The Chronicle whose greatest video-gamin- g experience is piaying music CDs on his Sony PlayStation, says, "Dude, 1 love the motorcycle game." Hancock says one of the reasons for that definitive statement is the d action. head-to-hca- the motorcycle game," Hancock repeated unnecessarily, "especially when you're racing against each other. Brian Watts and I had three epic races that were separated by less than a tenth of a second each time." Watts, who doubles as RED Magazine editor when he's not leading the San Diego Chargers to "I like FEATURE EDITOR . MP - -- l'l : ' & 3 v s & 5? nil. niimmi""', '? .. w. 5?- ..d? I -,. Jy .5.. wifti 111 JOYSTICKS: An integral part of most games is the joystick. Unfortunately, some of the joysticks belonging to the new machines are either too complicated to figure out or are broken. the Super Bowl in Madden 2000, says Road Burners is "very "It's not very realistic though," he said. "You can mow down sidewalk cafe patrons in Paris and it doesn't even slow you down." Even though Road Burners is a costly 50 cents per game, Watts says it's worth it but only if you race head-t- o head. And of those epic battles with Hancock, Watts said, "Mountain people are singing folk songs about it and innocent women and children began to weep. Some pretty old dirty men did too." Next to Road Burners is Cruis'n the World. Poor grammar doesn't stop this spinoff of the popular and equally grammatically repugnant Cruis'n USA. Cruis'n the World is basically the same thing as the USA version, except the tracks arc, well, from around the world. Again, this game shouldn't even be bothered with unless you have somebody you can race against. The handling of the vehicles (you can choose from a wide array of sports cars and gimmicky rides like Hummers) is decent with a little bit of forced feedback included to make you feel each jolt and jostle. Hancock points out he currently holds the record time for the tracks in Africa and Japan. He's lying. If you're looking for a game that handles more realistically, then try San Francisco Rush. With plenty of forced feedback, San Francisco Rush tries to simulate driving. Unfortunately, the game is so boring you'll feel like you're driving between Tooele and Wcndovcr. Hydro is the arcade's alternative racing game instead of "cruis'n" the asphalt, Hydro SHANE McCAMMON fast-paced- ." SHANECHRONICLE.UTAH.EDU throws you inside a wave runner and suped-u- p lets you speed through the canyons of places like d Lake Powell. Hydro is and features plenty of graphics, but at 50 cents, it's pretty pricey and should only be played action-packe- head-to-hea- d. t LOVE 'TOMMY': THE PINBALL MACHINES The arcade features several pinball machines, the highlight of which is South Park. Whether you're a fan of the show or not, you have to admit that any pinball game which includes toilets and phrases like, "We've gotta save the children!" deserves your quarter. The game dees, however, slow down a certain points, making you think your ball has permanently disappeared. Just be patient and maybe you too can kill Kenny. One sidenote: if the Cartman doll sitting on top of the machine isn't stolen by the end of the semester, it will be a miracle of Biblical proportions. The other pinball machines are fairly typical fare. Wait a second, no they're not they're worse than typical. Anyone caught playing Space Jam should be sent back to junior high where the rest of the Looney Toons are popular and Independence Day hasn't been working. If you're a pinball wizard, listen to The Who while you play South Park. KUNG FU NOTHING: THE FIGHTING GAMES Next on our list are fighting games. Fighting games are stupid. Don't even bother. 531-704- 1 |
