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Show FEB25 - 1999 - REDHERRING - R3 RED i. '! id II the body, such as Dr. Pepper and virgin (another word I hesitate to use when speaking to you) mar-gari- ta mix. HERRING You RED Drink of the Week is from the DEVIL!!! should be wearing crimson! Never mind that crimson is one of the colors of your school! You should be red in the face! How appropriately named your magazine is! I propose that we eliminate the filth represented by the RED CMC? fctrD)' fSDs i " Drink of the Week because it actually gives people a choice (to do evil) and that is just something we cannot let the youth of our state and the students of our proud, always moral, state university have. Providian v nance uorporaiion This letter was kindly delivered by Shane McCammon, Postal Worker in Training. u t FEBRUARY 26TH 10:45 AM INSTITUTE CHAPEL by THERA LOU JORGESSON Grandma and Moral Crusader Dear Editor: I am writing to you, young man, because I am very, very upset about RED Magazine's recent decision to encourage our young people to consume alcoholic beverages. Even though I have countless hours to and pet my kitty, I feel is it my duty as a citizen of this pioneer state to castigate you for leading our future to the devil himself. It all started a few weeks ago...I flipped open your publication (which I assumed to be morally upstanding since it is run by the University of Utah) to see the review of "An American Daughter," which was a horrible display of public affection between married people and featured vile language that is spoken by all those city folk, but I already wrote a letter about that. Anyhow, I flipped open your paper and what did I find? What did I find?! I found filth. I found recipes for destruction. I found the RED Drink of the Week. Young man, do you realize how easily manipulated our youth are? Do you realize what power you hold over their minds? How easily they are persuaded to do things they don't want to do, just with a little nudge here and a little bump there? Never mind that they can't obtain your disgusting ingredients because they don't make enough money at their telemarketing jobs or that they have to go to a state-ru- n liquor store in order to continue along the long and windy path thai leads to Pioneer Park (and by the way, they should change the name of this historical place since it dishonors our ancestors), the 500 East Viaduct, and Hell Almighty. None of this matters because if it wasn't for your subliminal messages poured into the ears of my grandchildren, they wouldn't be driving to Wyoming every weekend for heaven knows what. Yes, I know what you're thinking to yourself, "It's OK because everyone is doing it. It's OK because other newspapers at other campuses do the same thing. It's OK because other newspapers at other campuses even advertise for local dens of spiritual destruction." Well young man, I say it is not OK. Your newspaper should be an example of morality. Your newspaper should represent the students of the University of Utah all the students, not just the ones who are intent on divorcing (a word I use hesitantly) themselves from all things good. Your newspaper should be more like that lovely publication down in Provo I think it's called Our Daily Universe because at least it is representative of their student body, except for that decrepit cross-stitc- h think-ing...you'- Paul Cardall As one of the largest issuers of VISA Gold credit cards in the nation, we have plenty of openings where your talent won't be wasted. At Providian Financial, you can make money while you're still in college, and maybe even get a head start on your career. and FULL-TIM- E We have immediate PART-TIM- E Service Representatives which offer excellent pay easy to fit it into your busy college schedule. I MUSICAL PERFORMER Service our customers' accounts and sell Providian products (NO Competitive pay based on experience ($8.50 - $12 per hour) Variable pay based on sales Business casual dress Paid vacations and holiday Paid training provided Flexible pay is available to those fluent in Spanish OUTBOUND CALLING) MedicalDentalAfision 401(k) and Retirement Tuition ReimburseBonus ment Contribution Employee Stock Purchase Plan Sign-O- n Referral LifeDisabilityAD&D Employee Full House Please submit your resume to: Providian Financial, Attn: Human 5215 Wiley Post Way, Suite 200, Resources, Job Code We value diversity of Salt Lake City, UT 84116. FAX: (801) 594-858culture, professions and experience and are an Equal Opportunity 7, 8. Employer. lr-irvl V I ItfyrKUVIlJIMN v A Financial Fullback nWlMWWlffilWf.H.?J14.l.lJ.W.l,ll Ns.Wf I Ron-ne- y Young man, you think that you can escape moral responsibility by on simply printing instructions drinks. make how to I would like to remind you, however, that some of these recipes are also immoral since they include certain soft drinks that are bad for up for a Maximizer Account Today. Sign r-- tZMtf Hrf J Earn Bonus OoAars Free Email! Free E Newsletter Personalized Shopping list Build vow awn Website at Sh0ppin9.com! Backcountry Snowboarding van ntxjrg Uinstopher Amazon.com $15.16 Barrasandnoble.com . . . .$15.16 $13.32 Shopping.com The Ultimate 1 re Jenkins fellow. openings for Customer hours, so it's and flexible I'iEQitf'ijGnis Full Load Workout Log duzanne ocniosoerg, (nazon.com BarwsarKJnoble.com . . . $9.60 $9.60 y. 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