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Show B4-T- Daily Utah Chronicle he Tuesday, February 23, 1999 a s Shawn Parker Bailey Chronicle Senior Editor Utahns think the way the culture around Many pring is almost here and you know what that means. Love is in the air, lots of it. Be careful, it's contagious. I should know. Last year I came down with a lingering case myself. Metaphorically speaking, mine was terminal, and I've got the ring to prove it. Now, don't mean to put marriage or love for that matter in a bad light. On the contrary, since I got married, my GPA has made a bigger comeback than bell bottoms I and platform shoes. However, traveling the road from first date to wedding day may sometimes seem filled with more detours and road blocks than our favorite interstate freeway. So for those of you who arc already infected by the "love bug" (i.e. more than happy to spend 45 minutes smelling the scent of your boyfriendgirlfriend's colognelotion on your palms after holding hands), I have included three prescriptions to help with common love bug complications; the first of which I have appropriately entitled: Suicide (asking her dad) Men, if you find yourself in a situation where you must ask your girlfriend's parents for permission to marry her, remember, present yourself with as much confidence as death. possible. Or at least resign yourself to an over-hast- y The only time I ever felt nervous, from the day I met my future wife to the day we were married, was the afternoon I found myself in her living room, miserably failing at mak ing small talk with her parents while frantically trying to think of an intel- ligent way to ask if everything but the actual marriage could marry their daughter. My first mistake was that I had failed to prepare myself for the experience. My second, and more basic error, was that I had decided only two hours earlier that I had better get on the ball and ask her or forever hold your car," the man I wanted to make my From somewhere out back I heard barking. Figuring too late to change my mind, I told him I was ready. father-in-la- my peace. However, rather than wisely thinking things through, I hurried over to her parents' house so I could ask them I wanted to sur- said. it was "Are you a BYU fan?" "No?" "Good," he smiled. "Welcome to the family." And that was it. No dogs, no doors slammed in my face, nothing. I didn't even get a second question until my future nudged him. mother-in-la- This is not true. I'm a guy. And surprising her in this way would have involved a genetic trait that scientists have time and time again failed to prove exists in a normal, human: the romantic gene. It's all genetic. Really. The truth is, I decided my chances of winning my future bride over would have ended up in critical condition had she been there to sec mc lose all voluntary muscle control the moment her father walked into the room. So there I was, crouched nervously on the edge of the love scat. I didn't sit too far back on the cushion because I wanted a head start when her dad let the Rottweilers out. The brilliant, cohesive, carefully phrased question I finally came up with was something like, "Can I marry your daughter?" I was definitely winning points by this time. "You've got to answer two questions or you're out on "Oh. Right. Do you love her?" Apparently, in my new family, that isn't as important as being a Utah man. Many Utahns just don't understand that whole "wedding rehearsal," deal they saw on "The Father of the Bride." They certainly don't get the big party, like on "My Best Friend's Wedding," with the live (however awful) band, dancing and alcohol consumption. They have been steeped in another, distinctly Utahn way of nuptial commemoration. After the engagement comes a series of "showers." These seem to be something of a shameless ploy to receive gifts before the marriage commitment is made. The gift yield in these can be plentiful, but it is important to watch out for welcome signs, paper towel holders, pot holders and the like. Occasionally there is an interesting theme shower (i.e. lingerie), but these are rare. After months of planning, sending out invitations and paying out a fortune, the actual day arrives. Perhaps only in Utah do people pack two or three days of wedding events into one very long day. It can start as early as 6:30 a.m. for the actual ceremony. a photographer and cinematographer usually fight to pose four extended families while the toll-paint- The Proposal Okay, what I said before about men being unromantic wasn't totally true. We can be romantic. But it's usually an accident. Most guys know that the proposal is usually the time to really turn it on. I mean, I knew it, so I figure that most guys do. So I took her to The Roof Restaurant. Pretty good, huh? Actually, my whole family was going because it was my dad's 50th birthday, so I just invited her to come with us. Like I said, when guys arc romantic it's usually an acci- dent. My plan was to finish dinner and, before we ate dessert, take her out to the windows overlooking the city to provide a picturesque backdrop for the proposal. Problem: every- body and their proverbial dog which incidentally aren't allowed in the building because of the tough, new proverbial pets rule wants to get a view of the city. And I'm chicken. So I had to find a different place. But once I had found it, I didn't hesitate for more than 45 or 50 minutes. Now, I like to think I have some notion of how your basic romantic-typ- e thing should go, so I had brought a pocketful of tissues. You know, for when she started crying. I wasn't prepared for the idea that a marriage proposal could be so funny. She laughed for almost five minutes. Of SCC TROUBLESHOOTING (801)466-951- cere- mony. I before she got home from work. To this day she thinks it was because prise her. does weddings is the way weddings are done. I'm talking about ed Post-ceremon- y, struck bride and groom smile although they are not completely present. The photographer passes on to fight with the cinematographer while shots like the infamous "hand picture" are posed. The luncheon follows, which is often done at a nicer place or an LDS see utah page page B7 0 2690 South Highland Drive Salt Lake City, Utah 84106 The Most Elegant Weddings in Utah: One of the most important decisions you will mm about your wedding day will be choosing right photographer. After all, you will spend more time on your wedding day with your photographer than any of the other professionals you hire. 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