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Show AttSU Jest it 1SSI 1111 foes Ghirony bids farewell to- plethora off ffoeiDds, U I have a cousin who lost his arm in the Korean together in Gila River, Ariz, and mash and grind in a week'of forbidden dancing. It is truly an War. He said he had it when he left.his tent, but by the time he got back, it was gone. Later that inspiring sight Speaking of inspiring sight, there was this day, somebody returned They said they found movie on television the other night It had Loni it in the Mess Hall. His sergeant said "Christ, Anderson and another guy nobody could' recog- you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on nize. It wasn't very good, but there was nothing tight He didnt think it was that funny because his name wasn't Christ It was Steve. else on. One night people came from miles around to Once in a while it's good just to sit in a dark room and listen to the Zamfir, master of the pan see the amazing yak that could do ballet That flute, collection. Zamfir is a treasure, a credit to night the guy who had sold all the tickets came the art, and one of the most inspiring talents of out and said that they had been tricked. There was no such thing. In fact he'd never even seen a our time. One time I ate 12 Big Hunks in under an hour. yak do ballet Instead, the yak did tap. Everybody A cat of mine ate a sofa. Actually it was more of a left because nobody likes tap. As people walked futon, but we called it a cat because we wanted a away they were muttering to themselves. Thaf yak served a very important service. He cat and couldn't have pets in our apartment A friend of my aunt's lived in a house that he created discussion. We, at, the Chronicle, hope yaks. thought was haunted. Every night he would hear that we have been this eerie creaking upstairs and all these voices in As Babe Ruth said, "hats are good to wear if the attic. One night he crept upstairs and peeked you don't have time to comb your hair." Babe through the door and the whole place was infest- Ruth wore hats all the time. I wonder if he ever combed his hair. ed with Shriners. it his has been a very eventful year at the Chronicle. We here like to think we've done a pretty fine job. The most significant thing we think we've done is create an open and lively discussion. Discussion is vital to our society. Once I read a book where people couldn't talk to each other. The only form of expression they had was an elaborate form of body language and signs. At the end of the book there was this big fight because people couldn't resolve their differences. It was all a misunderstanding about potatoes or something. It was a pretty good book. Books are really amazing. Not only do they have lots of pages, but almost every single page has words all over it. Whoever came up with that idea deserves a trophy. I have a trophy. I won in it at the fourth annual "Fat Person Lambada Competition." Every year more than 100 people, all over 350 pounds, get tap-danci- ng The Chronicle is an independent student newspaper. Unsigned editorials reflect the majority view of the Editorial Board. Letters Don't trust straights Editor: L One thing every young gay person should know is that straight people can't be trusted, especially family members. They are duplicitous and treacherous. Their primary and usually their own concern is with social appearances, and they will betray and sacrifice their own gay family members in a heartbeat. Disown your straight families as soon as possible, before they can destroy you. That's not to say that there aren't many pitfalls and dangers within a "gay community" shaped by pervasive straight repression and indoctrination, but gays can still do better on their own. Dept. of Languages LETTER PCLICY Stuart McDonald Literature staff & The Chronicle welcomes reader response. Please bring typed, double-space- d letters, not exceeding two pages, to 240 Union Building. Each letter should include your name, major, year in school and telephone number (for verification purposes only). Unsigned letters will not be considered for publication. The Chronicle reserves the right to edit letters for spelling, grammar and space. DOUG GIBSON Liberals suck, Newt Gingrich rocks, etc., etc., etc., etc. Bill Clinton's crackin'! He's losin'areit! looking down. Poll numbers at 40 percent. His legislative docket's bare, while the Feds' nail Rosty; 2 Bill's only hope for Hillarycare. . Nine straight major election losses. Those Democrats in Congress seem to have lost the number that directs them to of Bill and Hillary are the Oval Office. The. free of appointments come Octoberearly conspicuously November. And the strain is showing on our Chief Executive. That look that old familiar, day-planne- : v wackos. . The real reason Bill and the Democrats are losing support is twofold: First, Bill is judged a liberal and an elitist by 'many moderate and conservative DemocratsIndependents' rs - - our president exhibits under stress counter-clockwis- e. fear." Bill added that "messages of hate and fear" were the . rea-- " "' His legislative docket's bare, while the Feds' nail Rosty; Bill's only hope for ' . ,Hillarycare. like he can't quite is now the norm at decide whether to scream or 'laugh . press conferences. And take a look at Bill's eyes; more and more, they're v spinning more frequently; a sure hair are changing styles Hillary's the lips grow At she's conferences, press uptight. sign's watch cherry and and commodities, tighter; up bring tighter : lipstick turn white. Bill last week CNN a to gathered senior report, According health care meet and "secret to discuss, Democratic politicos Bill the At the legislators to urged meeting strategies." health care. about think Constituents their what ignore of hate and Bill are raved, messages "peddling Republicans, ' ' ' son the GOP had managed to win the most recent national . elections, despite fielding, in Billspeak, "wacko right-win-g candidates." : ? Oh yeah. Kay Bailey Hutchison, Christie Whitman, Paul Covington, George Allen, Rudolph Giulani; all right-win- g CS:rcr.!sb '' Etf:rlsl Cc!ur.r.id who, in 1992, voted for a Bill Clinton they believed was a "new Democrat;" second, in the border and southern states, constituents, who generally are conservative Democrats, seem ready to elect Republicans to Congress. moderate Democratic members of Until 1994, long-tim- e Congress in those states could convince their districts they were safeguards against too much NixonReaganBush. But with Bill's anemic poll numbers (about 30 percent approval in most southernborder states), these candidates like it or not find themselves inextricably linked with Bill in voters' . ; minds- Look for the GOP to gain 25 to 30 seats in the House and about five seats in the Senate.JThis would give conservatives a governing edge in Congress and force Bill, if he wants to retain any credit for future legislation, to a more libertarian philosophy on economic and social issues. There's even a slight chance very slight, mind you that Republicans could pick up 42 seats; and control of the House for the first time in generations. - A GOP-dominat- ed House would make Chronicle Managing Editor, Eleni Vatsis most frightening nightmare a reality: a Speaker of the House named NEWT GINGRICH. In May I had the opportunity to student-teac- h two week-lon- g "short courses" at Woods Cross High. I taught students in two of Ms. Brooke Gregg's speechdebate classes to work as teams to write editorials. z : 1 , Lessons began with a study of the Toulmin method of argumentation. The students used the systems to their I evidences Later in gather pieces. taught the "Stack and Block" method of editorial writing; introduction, paragraphs of evidences, and a kicker to end the piece. Friday, after the editorials were completed, students participated in SCO "Gibson" on page seven CD-RO- . M L ? - |