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Show The Daily Utah Chronicle ...OK... OK... ( SHASTA Thursday, February 11, 1993 Page Eight CRM X WAN' A I2.-POf 50tVy A COUPLA DONUT5 An' A Boa jn&T? I ... MENTHOw AC ssod-ha- m 0 ' J A J OR Rt&OLAR? 7 X mam not the same New Rapture r I"- - NEtD S0M I '' Editor When I was first approached by this guy Chris Ryan (via our minister of propaganda, Mr. Sharkey) about his (Chris Ryan's) interest in running for office as the Rapture candidate, my first question was, of course, why? Why in the hell would you want to run as Rapture? Why would you want to be Rapture? Didn't he know that the first rule of Rapture is that anyone who would want to be Rapture, can't? It's like that old Groucho Marx joke revived by Woody Allen, "I wouldn't want to join any club that would have someone like me as a member." Didn't this guy Chris Ryan realize this? Didn't he know that the only thing Rapture ever wanted was not to be Rapture? Of course he didn't know. This Chris Ryan guy doesn't know diddly about Rapture. Chris Ryan, he's firat Chris Ryan, he's popular. Chris Ryan, he knows how to talk to girls. He's He has no the knowledge of Rapture, its purposes or goals (not that it ever had any). All this Chris Ryan guy wanted was to -ride Rapture's inventiveness, humor 'anti-Raptur- Stop the violence. Stop the hate. A public service message from The Daily Utah Chronicle. doesn't have the capacity. Then I thought, oh, cool! Chris Ryan, he's frat Chris Ryan, he's popular. Chris Ryan, he has absolutely no idea what is going on. He's everything Rapture ever wanted to be but never could. Rapture is everything we never wanted to be but had no choice and now this Chris Ryan guy wants to be us. Chris Ryan, he's part of the institution. Rapture sells out! Finally, someone bought us. All I can say is that this Chris Ryan guy has paid good money (actually very little (actually very nothing (we got screwed (it's my fault (a very Rapture thing to do)))) Cor the use of the Rapture name and he ran with it So if you were once a Rapture fan ' and realize that it is just not the same, not the fire, not the flame, you know why. If Rapture seems like the same old stupid thing as it always did, you weren't paying attention anyway (probably a good thing). As Rapture always says, "an e. and growing underground con-stituen- informed voter is a voter who would never ever ever vote for Rapture." I've said my piece. Thank you. ' Travis'M. Porter The other Dwayne Johnson" Not currently a student - cy into the ASUU presidency. This guy just doesn't get it. He MM tfftilttililitllmi NATIONAL I U MICROCOMPUTERS J I UJ J W N J I V U J J, MINI I I I I I toft ijTl!lil'j lilililMWj Hill. Ifi'i'l. WlllpJilllllJiMH HilllVHIi mm 'llllMilC li I enhanced keyboard 2 serial, 1 parallel port FEATURES: 33 Mhz speed 2Mb RAM 40 Mb hard drive 1.4 3.5" floppy Available to current students, staff & 101 SVGA color monitor VGA card with 51 2K MS DOS 5.0 in ill mil .li mi'1 imiu faculty with valid UofU I.D., Bookstore employees not eligible. UNOVERSDTV UNIVERSITY in OF MMi.-ijh-i, iiiiiimiii Im-- " tliHt BOOKSTORE UTAH flfi 'H-Hj-- V CAMPUS 'Ulttlfi O Hi:;!.' ! III! li t;iri WW,, |
