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Show 8 - SUNNY TIMES - MARCH 1994 Feedback Not retorted to the alter-self, who had been Failure conspicuously absent the last few months. Just when she most needed her friendly little elf, too. “Why do I feel abandoned and unwanted?” she asked aloud to no one in particular. Some deep part of her answered: “Well, you're the one who left, who moved away, who chose this sWWWW fenced-out corner of the world.” “I didn’t willingly choose it,” she It was the eve of her 70th birthday, and she had never before felt so deserted, alone, and unloved. She remembered her 50th when she had invited 60 people of all ages to help her celebrate. What a party! The memories CASTLE VALLEY SERVICES DIRECTORY Dennis D’Agnese, 259-6382. Welding steel 8r aluminum. Active listening, free advice, problem solving for trade. Call 9111. M. Dezelsky Owner Builders! Contractors! We have temporary labor for the construction trades. Long or Short Term. Site clean-up 8r hauling also available. DESERT MOON SERVICES (801) 259-6589 John 8: Sandy Flahie CVSR 2904, Moab, UT 84532 came galloping back. Soon the nostalgia only made a mockery of her present self-pity. She tried sleep. But sleep seemed more elusive than usual. Her visualization and meditation techniques, helped along by 3 Bernie Siegel tape, was her next subterfuge. As she drifted away, his voice mesmerizing and comforting, she heard him say again as he had so many times before, “F is for feedback, not failure.” Now she was awake, the words suddenly full of new meaning. “Is that what I am missing,” she asked herself, “My supportive friends? My family who think I am a fun grandmother? My children who always send love and thoughts of companionship?” Ultimately she slept. Too early the Carpentry. Fine craftsmanship. Valley references. Call Bruce Aldrich 259-4838. greeted her, along with a big birthday card—brought by her only friends in this new place, her school-teacher niece and fifth-grade grandniece. They had to hurry off to work and school. What sweet thoughtfulness to remember a little old troll like me, when their lives are so full of busy, important things to do. A few hours later the mail brought many birthday cards with personal notes, one with a check. Several long—time friends called from the West Coast, each with lengthy catching-up conversations. The day was looking brighter and she felt an old fool for delving so deeply into the barrel of despair. “How could I have been so self-centered,” she hollered at the dog and cat, each opening one eye and returning to their snoozing. That same evening her niece and grandniece returned to take her into town, where they were fitted with cross-country skis, poles, and boots. Tomorrow they planned a day of cross— country skiing in the nearby mountains. She had never been on skis! She remembered her uncle laughing as he told how he learned to ski at the ripe old age of 65, and he lived to be 97. The evening was not yet over; the niece had arranged for dinner at a local favorite restaurant with her husband and older daughter joining them. It was a perfect birthday feast, which included her favorite dark beer! Life seemed very livable, and she knew the reason: FEEDBACK. "That’s a strange word to use for love and caring, for approval and support, for response,” said the longquiet other voice. “Yes. It may be a New Age phrase for something ancient something used without naming, something our ancestors invented.” In the sunshine-bright of the morning, the day of her first ski ride, next morning, there she was flying down the hill on skis, came a tapping on her bedroom window and a simultaneous knocking on her front door. As she stumbled from bed she wondered who in the world . . . A handwoven willow basket full of flowers in her favorite colors poles flailing on the snow. She heard her alter-voice muse, “OK, OK, OK, but I still miss those friends in the canyon country. Just maybe . . . I guess, perhaps. . . I c0uld put up with a few fences now and then. If Uncle Irwin could learn to ski at 65, I can begin at 70. TPHS IS FUN!” She was soon realizing that her optimism and sense of survival had much to do with the friends she’d left behind, and that their attitude of nurturing and non—judgment was |