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Show Speaking of Sports- - Yesterday's Heroe DURING the ;past few weeks Yanks? rjjeck football Pr"Rately ers have been turned loose upon tr'e nation by Americas y and universities. This is an ave'iaw of six men per ir.A-tionsquad at all of more than preparatory school rating. m Must feacrue gold Players Uy football holds no interest other that of an enthusiastic spectatorthan lew will remain as coaches. However, those that do are exceptional! alented. Coaching ,,o the appeal for graduates.longer has Colleges are looking more and more season to professional football each and high schools for staff replacements. Most embryo coaches find their only openings in high school jobs, and prep assignments lack the inducement the.v hoped to find. Contrary to general belief, which holds that practically all good football players join professional ranks the National Football league will provide playing jobs for approximately 250 graduates one out of every 24 college players meet major league football requirements. The great majority of these men will go to work in the more prosaic fields. In their ranks are lawyers, doctors, engineers in fact, any and all branches of business and the pro- experts, officials and unanimous in almosi J&ns aft' something must be jlief that '!( New York Yankees gyuuv 5 the.v eliminate all thought of .4SEBA1-- " - - c ' netiuun West yanks won the 1936 Ameri-akagu- e pennant by 19 games. by 13 games, and i7 to. The belief ;1338 bv y'a games. ; ttheir superiority was growing " a belief fostered nronoui:ced Uty Hr diminishing margin of craved untrue. "L the American league circuit it said that the Yanks will be s leinf from 8 to 12 games ahead by July 4. ""Posed This means they might as well call cm. off the rest of the race, that Joe Mcthev won vic-Sl'ih- . -- trt! ella Carthy's aggrega- tion is too good for the rest of the teams in baseball. Whether or not you L 1 subscribe to the the f N ory and we do not WAi that the Yankees Joe should be broken up 1 BcCarthy of base- for the II1 iaD, you will agree thatgood some steps 3ust be taken to revive an interest do not 'ng an have ut Mr. :er en- - r ndent 'ella is is to ed out i from is an a can at a e r. rer if cover nto a a w or as ella'i vhich and when it puta- i, but 'this i for .rid. ited ince sat-- If f Humorous This banjo-eyefellow might be Moon Mullins in the flesh, but it's really a u n comedian. Easy one, isn't he? d A37 1 JV Such Injustice in- "Have you anv references? quired the lady of the house. "Yes, mum, lots of 'm," answered the prospective maid. "Then why did you not bring them with you?" "Well, mum, to tell the truth, they're just like my photographs. None of them don't do me justice." 2 71 mm in ij O This is the head of a nation. Might be President Cardenas of Mex- ico, Spain's Francisco Franco or Neville Chamberlain of Great Britain. Only it isn't any of those. Awfully easy! Great Finisher Hedging The soldier was explaining the theory of shooting to his sweetheart. Soldier You see, we have to calculate the distance of the object we want to hit, and then allow for the power of attraction of the earth. Sweetheart But suppose you are shooting over water? Soldier Oh, that is more than you would understand besides, I am not in the navy. The brother replied: "Father prepared. Prepare your self." THE LAST LAUGH This fellow isn't very old as his eyes indicate. We won't tell you anything about him except that he's a juvenile film player. Let's see . . . could that be Freddy Bartholomew or Jackie Cooper? 3 1 Richardson and Catcher Hershberger to the Reds and Shortstop Eddie Miller to the Bees. The last named is being hailed as to enter ope of the best infielders the National league in years. Almost any club in the Yanks' home circuit would have been glad to get - Us Wil-lar- d l-- t ... vv ... , Zriibs. v - All-Aroun- Man Was d Worth the Money! The customer was being shaved in a country town to which he wa a visitor, when the barber cut him. The man was all apologies, and placed a piece of tissue paper over the gash. When the shave was finished the customer to the great surprise of the barber handed over a substantial tip. "That's all right," said the victim, with a smile of forgiveness; "I dbn't often get shaved by a man who deals in three trades." "Three trades?" queried the puzzled barber. "Yes," came the sarcastic butcher, and paper-hanger- ." ' the coming year officials of the league are certain to discuss methods of equalizing the strength of its teams. They cannot, of course, take forcible measures and distrib ute the Yanks' star performers among the weaker clubs. Nor is it likely the team will be voluntarily broken up by player sales. One course is open to American league officials. They can do all in their power to urge the Yanks to keep all excess material in their home circuit. This would be in direct contrast to the Yanks' present Policy of selling players only to those teams which can't possibly threaten their supremacy. Over a long period the Yanks' actpresent ions will build up the National league at the expense of the American, a costly process in the end. Cards Build Own 1 ' "Ho! Ho! Bill, jes think of them poor boobs what's jes had vacation at sea shores and such places." $1w. "Where does the laugh come in? "Well now,, they gotta go back to work." "Mill No Hypocrite revival service was being held and one of the partners in a coal He concern had joined tried to get his partner to do likeA I This felloiv has a lot of children, which isn't much of a help. He's a member of Uncle Sam's diplomatic corps, wears glasses (how did you guess it?) and is a very successful business man. 4 wise. "I can't do it, John," replied the partner, when his insistence became do the weighln Who irksome. if I join?" Proposal? "Ma, do you think Pa is goin' to let that little shrimp of a Sidney Brown marry Sis?" "Why, I don't know, son. What makes you think he might?" "Well, Dad is playing cards in the front room with 'em and I just heard him say, 'I'll raise you, Sid.' " mmmm t.l CLINT BROWN No Recommendations "Could you let me have verv famous 'oune. lady and we don't mean one of the Dionne quintuplets. She sets a lot of fashions for the younger crowd. Just took a trip to Hawaii. Lives in California. You've already guessed! J A Yawkey of Boston is one man to fight the Yanks on their home grounds, and even for that moneyed gentleman it's going t be a tough, uphill struggle. To date the American league is not the drawing power it was in the past. Weather conditions have been blamed by Edward G. Barrow, present of the Yankees, for unfilled grandstands. However, one writer Pointed out that Jersey City, near New York and having the same leather conditions, has drawn larger crowds to minor league games the world's champions have attracted in their mutilation of Amer-'caleague competition. It can't be blamed on the weath-frAt least not altogether. Fans have grown tired of the Yan seeing kees win with such little effort. attempting . n - and as dangerous as ever. Brown has proved that sometimes a great finishing pitcher is just as valuable as a great starting pitcher. Sport Shorts er a banker's reference, sir?" said the house agent, negotiating a sale. "Just a formality, you know." "I could," replied the client, "but it would only distress you." Shrieking Tax Victim Fifteen dollars? You usually charge me $3. Dentist Yes, but you shrieked so loud that you frightened three patients away. 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Y. 160 lie Kalb A vejj-klynj.I.IL-iVH-sVI'.IIWT- Right Reading: It is not wide reading but useful Aristippus. i:..::vL::::: :.: :;;.:.(:;: ..:;: ; ,: ;.y :yrw: :.:S:.:ii:3i This lady also lives in California when not back home in a northern European country. Don't see why anyone would want to be alone f when she has big eyes like these. Ur is that a dead A U give-awa- y gY'"TT IMhK f 1. Eddie Cantor 2. President Roosevelt 3. Mickey Rooney fir iwrinlarity Doan't Pills, after of world years many wide use, surely mast be accepted as evidence) of satisfactory use. And favorable pub Ho opinion supports that of the able physicians) who test the value of Doan's under exacting; laboratory conditions. T h physicians, too, approve every word of advertising you read, the objective of which Is only t recommend Doan's Pills as a good diuretie treatment for functional kidney disorder and for relief of the pain and worry it Of 4. 5. 6. Joseph P. Kennedy Shirley Temple Greta Gar bo Optician These glasses are only Let me put them on. Do they improve your vision? Customer Wonderfully ; I can see plainly the price is altogether too large. $10. Fine Distinction The judge was reproving a colored man for deserting his wife. "Wife desertion is something we must deal with severely," the court admonished. "But judge," protested the black man, "youall don't know dat woman. I isn't a deserter, I'se a refugee." ... . d reading that tends to excellence. says the four TOMMY HARMON in golf today are Horton Smith, Paul Runyan, Johnny In Revolta and Ralph Guldahl the 43 years of the National Open been golf championship there have Bobby Jones 13 ties for the title. was in four of them, winning two of . the playoffs and losing two Lacrosse was introduced this spring as part of the intramural program at Michigan . . . Jim Fitzsimmons. the horse trainer, has one superstitionif he wins a stake race, he wears the same tie until he loses. It is with narrow-soulepeople bottles as with narrow-necke- d the less they have in them the more noise they make in pouring it out. Pope. f Life in the Right al players. Narrow Souled the-chur- ch. 11 is still saving ball games for Louis League Comiskey. He is Clint Brown, one The St. Louis of inthe most spectacular rescue artCardinals, for stance, dispose of their excess playists of the diamond. ers to clubs with- Brown left Cleveland for Chicago 'n their own in the winter of 1936. He was largefinleague, which ly responsible for the third-plac- e ish of the White Sox in 1936 and 1937. maintains the strength of the enIn the first season he figured in 38 tire organization. games for the Sox, winning six, losThough they were ing two and working 83 innings. In 1937 he was in a total of 53 games, developed on Cardinal farms, there working 100 innings, winning seven was no and for losing seven. place Bill Lee and JohnThe trouble shooter was canceled ny Rizzo on the out last season following an operaSt. Louis team. That for a chipped bone. tion But they were of course, the only reason wasn't, sold to clubs in the Sox finished in the second divithe same league. Lee Bill sion, but it was a contributing facThe argument tor that cannot be overlooked. that other clubs should build up to The loss of Monte Stratton, ace meet the Yanks is not as logical as a severe blow It sounds. The Yankees have a po- starting pitcher, was Their to the Sox this year. hopes tential audience of 10,000,000 people. Some of the other clubs are located were pinned on Stratton, whose ca" territories where not more than reer was cut short when he lost a in a hunting accident. But 1,000,000 people live. It is only nat-nr- leg plenty bad medthat New York's gate receipts, the Sox are still of the big reasons is one icineand would be greater, allowing more Clint Brown, unparalleled trouble money for organization and investshooter. He's back in form again, ment in Tom 6348. What could be more appropriate for sheet and pillow cases than these decorative angels in simpl stitchery! Just the thing for guest linens. Perhaps you'll prefer the "Good Morning" and! cheery "Good Evening." You can finish off either design with the filet cro Pattern 6348 conchet edging. tains a transfer pattern of seven, motifs ranging from 4s by 16V inches to by 9Vi inches; directions and charts for crochet; materials needed; illustrations of stitches. To obtain this pattern send 15 cents in coins to The Sewing Cir- -. cle, Household Arts Dept., 259 W. 14th St., New York. N. Y. Please write your name, address and pattern number plainly. pare father." shows Nolen Preparation Pattern college student had failed to pass a very important examination and wishing to break the news gently to his parents he sent this telegram to his elder brother: "Have failed to pass exam. PreA league. To bear him out a hasty survey that in the last three years the Yanks have sold Bob Seeds, outfielder, and Johnny McCarthy, first baseman, to the Giants; Outfielder Jim Glecson to the Cubs, Shortstop ' Bit The thrifty Scot was on the train from Edinburgh to London. At each station he hurriedly left his compartment, rushed to the ticket office and rushed back to the train again. After this had been repeated a number of times, a fellow passenger asked the reason. "It's because of my heart," the Scotsman explained. "The doctor says I may drop off at any time and I'm buying my ticket from station to station." uell-kno- io During ;rica I ents cultivated during three years of collegiate competition. The graduates deserve a hand for being intelligent enough to realize II ieady flagging. that their futures depend on their (Then Lou Gehrig benched him- capabilities in the business world. one of the greatest And not on stlf they lost past gridiron performof all time. When Joe ances. flayers an ankle they lost, sprained today's outstanding temporarily, pliyer. But what happened with out of v v HEN speaking of baseball's diose two great performers great relief pitchers, the avThe Yanks, with Babe the lineup? fan thinks of Johnny Murphy 17 erage out won on first base, Dahlgren with the New York Yankees, Dick it their next 20 games. CofTman of the Giants, Jack Russell, keep Talent at Home formerly with the Senators, and now with the Cubs, Sarge Connally of Not long ago Oscar Vitt, Clevelthe old White Sox. Those and a few and manager, hinted that New York more. was ruining the American league by A close checkup on the Chicago all the pennants and by snatching White Sox will reveal that one of shipping talent, fresh from the minors and good enough for other clubs baseball's truly great relief twirlers in the same circuit, to the National him. n Little TAKING NO CHANCES fessions. The National Football league is to be congratulated that it does not hold out false hopes to men who might expect to capitalize on tal- M i 11 m's your memory for eyes? They imprest most people more than do noses or any other feature, yet removed from related parts of the face they sometimes seem singularly lost. Here are six famous pair of eyes. They're identified at the bottom of the column, but don't peek yet! s ROBERT McSHANE i The Eyes Have It ' pia"- 6,0o0 Decorative Angels fori Sheets, Pillow Cases 2x Her Gentle Answer "Can you make a cake like moth ei used to make? 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