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Show 1m HILL TOP TIMES Friday, July 6, 1984 family focus 71 AffJofudle swings, definoereafic' The history of the United States is a history of constant social change. These social changes are most dramatic in certain groups formerly considered to be inferior who grew tired of their position. These groups include people who formed unions to protect workers' rights, minorities demanding equal treatment and women challenging the principle of male supremacy. These social challenges have produced a society vastly different from the autocratic society of the past. This change has even had an effect upon children and their perceptions of their position in . By Larry Dawson Family Support hm uferafk Center Consider the following scene: Mrs. A: It's good that you could come over, Jean. We haven't had a chance to talk for a long time. Mrs. B: I know, Sue, it seems that things just keep piling up. Girl: Mom, can I go to Barbara's house? Mrs. A: No, Kay, you know you've been sick. The doctor told you to stay in bed and rest. Girl: Aww, Mom, I feel better, and I'm getting bored. Can't I go over for just a little while? the relationship. This struggle for equality for individual rights has Mrs. A: No. Now you get back in bed! Girl: (Crying) I don't want to go to bed. I'm QK. influenced children to believe that their rights are I want to go to Barbara's! equal to that of their parent. While this "equal" Mrs. A: (Angry) Kay! You heard me! Get back perception is basically true, many children think to bed this instant! that this equality means' they should have the rights Girl: (Stomps off, crying) You never let me do and their parents should have the responsibility. With this perception, children are not willing to anything! submit to the arbitrary rule of adults; thus, the Mrs. A: (Embarrassed) I'm sorry, Jean. Mrs. B: (Laughs) No need to apologize. The same traditional techniques for winning obedience and thing happens at my house. cooperation from children are no longer as effective Mrs. A: Children act so differently today. When as they once were.' Parents know this. I was a child, I never questioned my mother. To adapt, parents sometimes choose the course Mrs. B: Neither did I. I don't understand why, of "reward" for acceptable behavior. Problems arise but there seems to be no respect for authority these when children perform only when they are rewarded. Children then seem to be able to dictate the days. The above situation seems to be more common worth of any particular reward and decide if their today, and parents do not seem to understand why compliant behavior is worth the reward. Hence a children's behavior has differed from their own at- "candy bar for a can become a car for titudes. The reason for the change in society is a a shift from an autocratic attitude to a democratic atAnother response to this problem is to return to titude on issues of social equality. the old ways of autocratic parenting styles.' child-pare- child-trainin- nt five-year-o- ld ; earenfs face child core dilemma It's 4 a.m. and the phone rings. "Base recall. Report to your duty section," you hear. You stumble to the closet and pull out your fatigues. Then your three year old walks in, clutching a teddy bear, and asks, "Where are we going?" Without careful a military parent could be caught in just such a perplexing dilemma. pre-planni- In some families both parents are in the Air Force and are therefore subject to recall at the same time. Other families are headed by a single military . parent. And in still other families the spouse may also have pressing job responsibilities. In all these cases the parents could, on occasion, ' face some unusual child care problems. The increasing emphasis on readiness often seems to collide head-owith the responsibilities of members as parents. "It shouldn't be that military .way," says Ruby Lusk, director of the child care center at Lackland AFB, Texas. She feels parents are now more aware of their dual responsibilities and she emphasized there are ways to handle both. "First of all, parents must have reliable backup systems," she said. "They can't just assume the child care center can handle everything. If a child gets ill, or if the child is at the center longer than allowed, someone must be ready to step in if you can t. The child care center at Lackland and at most other centers around the Air Force have changed their policy to be more helpful during a base recall. "For instance," Mrs. Lusk explained, "when there is a base-wid- e recall, the child care center is now required to be open within one hour of notification. And during the first day of alert, a child can be in the center for 18 hours.After that, the rule : does apply. "That's when it becomes so important to have an alternate plan," she exmphasized. "Many people work 12 hour shifts during exercises. So they, or their alternate, must pick up that child at the end PI CHILD ')SlmXwli 1 CARE " non-militar- y n .vW However, once invididuals have gained rights, they are usually not willing to give them up. The American family relationship has become more and more democratic in nature. But children and parents must behave responsibly if the stability of the family is to be maintained. Permissiveness among its members only produces more chaos. Hence the American family must have elements of both democratic ideals and responsible behavior . among its members. g Parents must then retool themselves to procedures that are based upon the princiof ple equality and mutual respect. These values determine equality of human worth and dignity. They do not dictate equality in knowledge, experience and eonomic privileges. The parents who maintain these values will provide their children choices that develop accountability and responsible behavior. Hence parenting techniques in this age differ greatly from the methods of control and domination that were successful in previous generations, x Democratic parents rely on such things as natural and logical consequences to help their children understand that all behavior has both positive and, negative consequences. Parents act responsibly when they allow their children to be accountable for their own behavior. These children soon realize that consequences of their behavior is inherent in that behavior rather than the perceived arbitrary rules set by the parents. When children learn this, they will act in their own best interest. These methods and techniques do not come naturally for parents schooled in the old techniques. Many parents find that attending parenting classes help them develop these methods. The Family Support Center offers a series of classes that teach these democratic methods and techniques. People who have attended them find that they don't have to be the "heavies" with their children, but learn that being a parent can be extremely fun and rewarding. If you are interested in any of these classes, call the Family Support Center for information and registration, Ext. 74681. Family Support Center Activities The Family Support Center will celebrate its first year anniversary July 16-1- 9 with the following special programs and activities. p.m., Communication and the FamiJuly 16, to enjoy your family through better how Learn ly. communication. Jay Clegg, a popular lecturer for Federal Women's Week, will present this seminar. July 17, 4:30-- p.m., Stress and the Family. A program to recognize stress and use of skills for stress reduction, Art Enderle. July 18, 9 a.m.: Utah State University Extension Service will have a fun series on Summertime Cool Cooking. Judy Starkey will share ideas for salads, snacks, and picnics. of 10 hours." (Family News) July 18, 10 a.m., Summertime Fun For Kids. Lois Pangman will teach this class on ideas for the harried parent to keep children busy and amused during the summer. Indoor and outdoor activities as well.as activities to use in the car while traveling. Concurrent program for your children while you at- -' for youth ages Fun and . tend. Also at 10 a.m Ted and Geri Tsakalos . .'. . ... . . . .June 18 Crafts for Children with Judy Starkey, USU. Class John and Mary Torgensen . . .... .June 19' is limited to 25 participants. . t..u. 11 n Tin f WUIIIIIIlUt UUA Patrick and Heather Burgin .June 22 V Uljr io BiW, VWWIUIU Wl f Holbrook will teach the latest canning information Alan S. and Kenna Jean Choroszy .June 24 pressure canner, steam canner and water bath .June 26 Doug and Becky Bickett canner. Don't miss this informative update. Leonard and Cynthia Masengale . . .June 27 p.m., Money and You. Art Enderle July 19, William and Cindy Roberts . . . ... .June 27 - will present this informative class to help you be Charles and Celende Black . . . .June 28 aware of techniques to improve your saving and and Rick . . .June 28 Kathy Angel spending ability. Call Ext. 74681 for registration and information. 10-ho- 7-- 9 7 ur . Heirforce Three boys and 10 girls were recruited into the Heirforce during the past few weeks at USAF Hospital, Hill. Parents who sponsored the new recruits were: BOYS ........ ....... GIRLS Mark and Suzanne Rogers ....... f June 17 David and Shirley Miller . .June 23 Russ and Wendy Bonham ........ . . June 24 Glenn and Linda Wilkinson .June 26 . l&S&agg 4-1- '. M. 1-- 4 . ki:;t:i:;::i:;:iHi:;uji;:;;:::ta::i:i; 0, |