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Show PAGE SEVEN THE TIMES- - NEWS. NEPIII, UTAII Thursday, November 27, 1947 NEEDLECRAFT Expensive Remedy woman who feared she A YOUNG was losing her husband's affec- By Roland Cod Practical Votholders in J iffy Crochet tion consulted a fortune teller. After going through her usual mum bo jumbo, the seer advised: "Get a raw piece of beef, cut flat,, about an inch thick. Slice an onion in two, and rub the meat on both sides with it. Put on pepper and salt, and roast it on each side ovei a red coal fire. Drop on it three lumps of butter and two sprigs of parsley, and get him to eat it." The young wife did as she was told, and the little trick seemed to exert such an admirable effect upon her husband that she decided to repeat the practice at regular inter-cal- s. And the man loved her ever after. BOBBY SOX CROSS TOWN Marty Unks PATTERNS Our Improved pattern visual with charts and photos, and com- meie airecuons manei needlework easy. Price 20 cents; Due to an unusually large demand and current conditions, slightly more time is required In filling orders lor a few of the most popular patterns. Send your order to: easy-to-se- e Sewing Circle Needleeraft Neglected Cut Brings On Murder Conviction HIGH RESIST ANCE Ji By Ernie Bushmiller NANCY IV AUNT FRITZ'S BEEN MAD AT ( AUNT FRITZI WM WILL YOU COME IN AND SCRUB ME ALL DAY -P )- W NO "I'M STILL MAD i g& WMM WM&& I W&m ' AACKp LITTLE - REGGIE sWELL ; DONT START flMGOINGX 1 OH uiwinv rui n;uiwr, ' Turer nuou nnomni IV MAI I uraiui to J s ..I SOME jT$l I WONT. SAVED FROM LAST WORMS SAVED THEM WHAT DO YOU ) ? J The criminal was an old "toughy." The law had shot him numerous times without serious injury. He'd been captured, had escaped, and been recaptured. Finally, with obvious bravado, he walked to the electric chair. He didn't flinch, but after he'd been strapped into the chair by a bunch of huskies, he seemed to sag and grow a little pale. Suddenly he barked, "Well, turn on the juice." "Turn on the juice?" the electrician blurted. "Why, it's been on for five minutes." By Margarita yTHEY KEPT SWELL...) - 'fVSiuS IN YOUR ' , DID j! f fmakiN' MA!ii(VJHPrrTriE MATTER? J WT MUTXHOLDWE BACK OR I MIGHT J SOWE'jSUYSs Wu.WrtYWCT LOVETO VoU OOSOMETHIN' MY GIRL IN THE GARDEN1 VTTNCViWAIT?RV J WHAT ) T)V P A trh VxVIi 1 LL TILL 1 V K.s I CATCH AlUEfV - 1) - (? 7 w - Wolf Easy to Fool Do you know the differ- ence between taxis and trolleys? Bait No. Wolf Good, then we'll take a trolley. ' ' JITTER F I NOTE TO MR (cleaver at the butcher, (SHOP AND BRING BACK WHAT HE GIVES WU. f HW: felf., rfrtfvW ) hnflOQ I feVX" EFpftV LQ53t lHfc" iTTTTTrfflSRHOLM7ME Wmm JICKET if h( N ' No Taxes Either No one in the courtroom seemed' By Arthur Pointer I fr vtt i U ''TtV,r vrVM. 71 L A ' I y to know just what the case was about. The lawyers themselves were mixed up. Then an important witness was presently asked to tell the court the total of his gross income. He refused; the counsel appealed to the judge. "You must answer the question," said the judge sternly. The witness fidgeted about, and, then burst out; "But . . . but, your. honor, I have no gross income! I'm a fisherman, and it's all net!" 1 EARLY REG'LAR FELLERS J00 YOU l'fV J VVAlTlN" 1 AVTHIS START By Gene Byrnes TELL' WHAT TWGljiI AfiGiE. YOU'D TJr I CARRY HER. COOKS AFTeHNOON'po, f1 TO J 6JTCH 1 ITS TOC WELL LATt TO REN6J6E NOW, GOT BOTCHA V ,4 ' READY., " ClASS LIBRARIAN gj-?- y ' THOUGHT I'D TAKe BOOKS HOME ,,jTtV T4e AWO Schoolboy Howlers These little gems of information were taken from examination papers: Prevailing winds are winds that always blow when other winds stop blowing. In some rocks we find the footprints of fishes. False doctrine means giving people the wrong medicine. A cipher is a bottle that squirts. Antidote vis a funny story that you have heard before. A refugee is a man who blows the whistle at a football game. Asked to paraphrase the sentence, "The epistle was written in jocular vein," one boy wrote: "The letter was written in blood." Mr Mail Pilots and asked the reason. "Never mind that," replied the dog owner, "just cut his tail off, all of it." "But," remonstrated the vet, "That is a bit unusual. We crop puppies' tails, but it would be cruel to cut this dog's tail, he's too old. We just don't do things like that unless you have sufficient cause." "And do I have cause!" excitedly shouted the customer, "My mother-in-lais coming to visit us next week and I don't want anything around the house to indicate a welcome!" ASpyTY you ever see such gay TKauVa n.nolmnl .Pigeons Were World's First full-grow- n By Bud Fisher 7466 Make these pretty flower potholders. Protective as well as gayi Pattern 7466 has directions for both. Censorship MUTT AND JEFF OJ too. Good and thick, and sturdy. Made of rug cotton or candlewick. A veterinary was surprised to have a customer ask him to cut off the tail of his dog, IranaT. t A short time ago, a victim of a holdup found that, in the scuffle, he had received a cut on his thumb says Collier's. The next day, the thumb was so sore that the man consulted his physician who told him it was badly infected and should be amputated at once. But he ignored the doctors's advice and warning and died two weeks later of blood poisoning. Although the physician testified at the trial of the robber that the death of the victim was due to neglect of his condition, the defendant was found guilty of murder because the wound had resulted from the holdup. 'Kenny and Bruce were going to match to see which one leaves but neither of 'em have a coin!" "Mom said I should tell you about the trouble I got into today but you know bow I exaggerate everything." Dept. 564 W. Randolph St. Chicago 80, El. Enclose 20 cents for pattern. No Pigeons carried messages in ancient times, beginning in the days of Cyrus, the Persian king (about 550 B. C). But it is not generally known that they pioneered the world's first regular air mail services. It began in November, 1897, when the Great Barrier Pigeongram Service established a regular air mail route between Auckland, New Zealand, and Great Barrier Island, 65 miles to the north-wes- t across a tempestuous strait. A year later the New Zea land Government authorized the issue of special postage stamps for use on this pigeon mail. In September, 1899, the service was extended to Marotiri and Hen and Chicken Islands. A rival service, known as the Great Barrier Pigeongram Agency, began operations in the latter year. Both companies continued to carry mail by pigeon post over these routes until the opening of the New Zealand cable in 1908. ' Letters flown on this pioneer air service were written on sheets of tissue-thipaper, folded in such a manner that they could be sealed with the postage stamp itself. Bridal Wreaths The wreath of flowers worn in the bride's hair is a relic of the "corona nuptualis" used by the Greeks and Romans to indicate triumph. In other words, the bride who wears a wreath on her head is telling the world she "got her man." Beware Coughs frcra common colds That Hang On n Creomulsion relieves promptly because It goes right to the seat of the trouble to help loosen and expel germ laden phlegm, and aid nature to soothe and heal raw, tender, inflamed bronchial mucous membranes. Tell your druggist to sell yoa a bottle of Creomulsion with the understanding you must like the way it the cough or you are Quickly to have allays your money back. Illiterate Financial 'Wiz' Set Out to Corner Gold Wall Street's most spectacular character in the 19th century was James Fisk who got his start selling blankets to the Army during the Civil War. By 1869, he had become so wealthy and bold that, with several, associates, he tried to corner the nation's gold, an unsuccessful move that swept hundreds of firms and individuals into bankruptcy. Fisk, one of the greatest financial wizards of his time, was uneducated and virtually il-, " ' literate. CREOMULSION for Coughs. Chest Colds, Bronchitis Jtr FASTER - SMOOTHER U vSINGtf OR DOtBtf IPOt ) J RE COVER TH r'J VIRGIL VIR6IL.VOU SPILLED THIS BOX OF TACKS IN HEBE -- NOW JP PICK THEM up;l. i ! J I . I r I I I El 1111 LMU l i V . f7 J M ' I know a fellow who's an artist. and he's always drawing and paint- ing pictures of people with no clothes on. One day I asked him: "Why do you always paint and draw ueorjle in the nude?" "Oh," he said, "I suppose. it's because I was born that way." By Len K,lei VI I is "rVf .u ir . .M I ' ( t ANYTHING ELSE WAMT i I .3 r picked up T' .1 r pop? f eH VOU 1 Better Than Silence The deep south stock company was giving its utmost in the presentation of "Hamlet." There was no spontaneous outburst of appreciation from the townfolk who packed the tent, but there was great deal of handclapping. The show's proprietor was elated. Expanding his chest, he said to the villager who had been hired to raise and lower the curtain, "This town appreciates a cultured production; listen to that applause!" "Mister," the villager drawled, "they're not applaudin' they're kil-limosquitoes." n' By J eft Hayes ,ENT SAM Tfefl Snf gLl i T A, vN u, J UM -- v Placing the Itlame For years, old Josh had been making a living of sorts with his But now, at the late summer revival, he announced to the preacher that he was through with it. "That's wonderful news. Josh," the preacher suid. "Cumu on up and tell . one and all what Vhc Lord' dna for you." The old man rose front the bench. "Well, folks." he said, "it do took like tha Lord's mint me." moon-shinin- g. Rub in Ben-Gaquick! Gently warming Ben-Ga- y discombrings speedy, welcome relief from chest-col- d contains up to 2 Vz times mora fort You see, Ben-Gamethyl salicylate and menthol two agents known to all doctors than five other widely offered rub-in- s. Insist on genuine Ben-Gathe original Baume Annlgesique. y, y pain-relievi- y, Also far Pain dnt to RHEUMATISM, MUSCLE ACHE, and STRAINS. Ask m for Mild Ben-Ca- .. for Children y , y,., m.i, ixim, .u man u. mu mri |