Show ELIXIR OF LIFE JEFFS DISCOVERY According to information sent hero from rom New Nit York James J 3 Jeffries has JIa made mado ji It wonderful discovery and whether er he Ime Is to be known Crom roan now on as tin Dr Jefries or 01 champion Jeffries or 01 both remains to bo be seen sen The Tho anxious annious public will still 1 havo to walt wait until Jeff Jerr and a certain settle their dir dif difficulty culty undo and also alo until Jeffs now new dis discovery dl covery overy has hr been thoroughly tried out According to reports he lie has dug up an ale oily solution luton called cul and It is to cure anything front from In tui growing toenails to a fractured bank account R U L Goldberg seems scents to have hae Inside Information on the tho subject as follows Collos Yes Yc we w eat up the tho present agents junk Any time line he lie comes cOle through with witha wih witha a batch of 01 real live lve stuff stun he cam eun go the tIme limit on oum space and nd can come conic back for ur or another pull pul on the tho pipe We Ve of or the time theatrical numerous guf gur guffaws Laws and several subsequent sobs of muffled mufed laughter recognize the lie Indis Indispensable qualities of 01 the lie press agents lingo InS nail and naturally flop fop every evely time a areal a areal real dream is f ie shoved hoed Into the lamp THE NEW N W OIL is the newest package g Ac According According cording to Dan Smith Walter Kings loy Icy Co the new fluid Is the result of ofa ofa a I series comics of or scientifically conducted ex cx experiments pulled hulled off of by old Doctor Jet Jel fries luice In his spacious laboratory Just off the of Fearing that thal there might be ho some sonic truth In the lie statement that age uge has hai stiffened his muscles muscle and cud retarded his physical ph speed sP Jeff has prepared a concoction that that will wi make his muscles J as l loose Jooe and as a sack of or eels WONDERFUL QUALITIES The first time the rubbed the lie balm halm on his hl hi arms arx s 5 ho he knock knocked knok ed eel over ocr eight waiters walter and thi threw ev Dergel Bergem down the lie elevator shaft Ho felt Celt to so s young ho lie went out and anti played marbles murble with wih a crowd of 01 small smal schoolboys A bunch of or business busine men happened to get wind of ot the great discovery and they tit Immediately Immediate made Jeff Jef a proposition proposition tion ton to put iut on the market to sue suc succeed everything overy thing that Doctor Bunyon ever oer manufactured Tho The authorities are a a proposition to introduce the use of or Jeff Jerr oil 01 into the Homes Home for tho ho Aged Ag d all allover al allover over oel the tho country They figure fire that In Indue duo due time old ago age will 11 bo be a thing of o the past pt and the lie money mone now spent in tak ing lag care of 01 the old people can be used for Improving the streets and building arches for north polo pole discoverers I Dont mention menton It Mr Press Agent |