OCR Text |
Show AJ on... Relationships and the pictures in our minds by AJ Pease Last week's article closed asking how we fix our own relationships. Can we and will we, are questions we could add. This article will explore ex-plore one approach to the "how." Some say the "will" is questionable. However, Winston Churchill supposedly sup-posedly said, "You can always count on the American people to do the right thing, but only after they have tried damn near every other solution." I suspect this could apply to us humans working out solutions to relationships. Human beings are subjective creatures. crea-tures. We don't take in data like a computer or a camera or a tape recorder. As newborn infants, we take in data through our senses, and then immediately make judgments about it based on whether it makes us feel good. If a sensation makes us feel good, we will usually try to repeat it If something makes us feel bad, we will try to avoid it in the future. As we have more and more sensations and experiences, we begin to build perceptions about the world around us that are totally unique to us. We decide we like some things and hate others. As each new experience happens, it filters fil-ters through the sum of all our experiences ex-periences up to that point, and is "perceived" based not only on sensation, sen-sation, but on our judgments. When we are very young, often our judgments our based on very limited experience, knowledge and a sensory system that is still developing. devel-oping. But the judgments made will be permanent unless they are brought to light, reevaluated, and then either changed, saved, or discarded. dis-carded. This filtering and judging process, occurring in a healthy family, accompanied ac-companied by constructive feedback feed-back and dialogue with a skilled adult, will be growth producing and a vital maturation process for a developing de-veloping child. But, if the process occurs in a dysfunctional family, accompanied ac-companied by feedback from a needy parent, the chances are that many inaccurate and debilitating perceptions will be formed that will make a child unable to mature in a fully functional way. As adults, we need a way to pull these buried judgments and perceptions out into the light of day and examine their validity. We need a method of looking at our behavior (which is driven by our beliefs and perceptions) percep-tions) and making judgments about whether or not what we are doing is getting us what we want Through this process, we become healthy and then are able to develop nurtur ing relationships with others to assist as-sist ourselves and those around us grow in a healthy way. Try this to help develop a better relationship with yourself. Make as many pictures in your mind as you can of what you want in life. Make sure the pictures are as clear as possible. pos-sible. When each picture is clear, write it down as if you were describing de-scribing it to a young person. Next list the pictures of what you have. List them the same way you listed those of what you want. The trick now is to see how many pictures from each list are the same or similar. simi-lar. The more matches you have usually indicates that you have a pretty good relationship with your self. The fewer you have usually indicates in-dicates a greater level of frustration between yourself and the world around you. The same process may help develop devel-op or salvage a relationship with another an-other person. In this case each person per-son builds the pictures that are important im-portant in their lives. Rate each one as "slightly important," "very important," im-portant," "non negotiable." The more pictures that match, the better odds of a successful next step; a step that requires a lot of questioning. question-ing. So what questions help the mental picture overlay process? Crop report Soil moisture was reported 100 percent short at all locations in Utah, according to the Utah Agricultural Statistics Service. Irrigation water supply was reported 41 percent very short, 57 percent short and 2 percent adequate. Stock water supply was reported 15 percent per-cent very short, 76 percent short and 9 percent adequate. Hay and roughage supplies were reported 3 percent very short, 26 Temperatures DalS High Low Aug 9 71 59 Aug 10 84 50 Aug 11 92 56 Aug 12 87 57 Aug 13 89 60 Aug 14 93 51 Aug 15 92 50 Courtesy of Sky West Airlines Shop from your home first! Check the ads in the mam VbKHHL Express and WINDOW FASHIONS & m. m m Soft Shades Window V Verticals "Crystal iicAt 1 DreSS I "Ktl Buy Express" hy Grabf r FOF y Graber V Olf yfefoteiHMSBHk Off ii: uCarmrr jSjJgcsf "Artistry" by Uuvrr t)rapjj by Umstr Drape 0 Mini mfc v mimu 7(rfQff tlrtifiml Oal Trim rltiortKrnfN 11. "" 'Mi . in!! inn!! All Othnr Mini Blind 50 0ff f Retried (la Ceiling MtmnP rUtb lUth Car ft Beveled Mirrored " 31" IG" U2 2- 39T UmJ f 5 t Jt e H al o pit a n e A inn ith inM iu ai ii .13 29T 43 69T AMetnUlath BntC liw in nri 12- 15- 22- 32- Tiear Halnphatie (la L- . 2Llic ii! 2 Lliz A: 2tL' :M2? Dili. ()iJlf)(i.iiiou VVSiiiilliKv (t fdlmiiu Vernal Express Wednesday, August 17, 1994 17 percent short, 69 percent adequate and 2 percent surplus. Pasture and range conditions were poor to fair. Spring wheat was reported 92 percent per-cent ripe compared with 61 percent in 1993. Seventy-five percent of spring wheat was harvested compared com-pared with 13 percent last year and 44 percent average. Barley was reported re-ported 87 percent ripe compared with 64 percent in 1993. Eighty percent per-cent of the barley was harvested compared with 22 percent last year and 50 percent average. Oats were reported 53 percent ripe compared with 47 percent in 1993 and 56 percent average. Oats harvested as hay or silage were reported re-ported 90 percent complete compared com-pared with 83 percent last year and 71 percent average. Thirty-five percent per-cent of oats to be harvested as grain were harvested compared with 4 percent in 1993 and 20 percent average. av-erage. Winter wheat was reported 94 percent harvested BASIN SPORTS s 511 West Main in Vernal 789-2409 Use Yourr(e(IEg It Happens ONLY ONCE A Year And It's Just In Time For Back To School! r hue, Fri. f s DAYS ONi: Sat., Mon., and Tues. Every Regular riced Athletic Shoe fi Off CQnVERSE QeGbo'kgi SELECT GROUP ATHLETIC SHOES l-JGGDOKstei I group i nsrrouroi i groups gQ99 g99 M99 Up tO rp ?M and More! Plus FREE Pair Of Athletic Socks With Purchase! Super Deals On Hikers! imwwamiimi lUWHEilHiwn l:.KMIkil:llk7T1 rnr -Caldera" UlUnr Re?. 59-SAVEiq2 I MS. fNbrllibk: 5.. Cfk River 1 AAca HOT DEAL A super sharp hiker- comp.vp to G9-prs G9-prs FRlg Soclksl" Timberianti PEuro-Hlkor E.N.U.F. Sportswear Off I O Our Ui Entlro Stock Soort&wnnr pi i V-'6 t- ' 5 r ntei v OD99 miTrcvl il iji 501 J U 25s9 -gtmwfi and I j H .11 't si DrEAHWaY fWVOMlNQ Day Packs ftj 12 0 39 O " , ii o I. . o |