OCR Text |
Show 4 Vernal Express Friday, jonuory 6, W84 Fsffir iir-. im . g'lbaDiffldlain)s if D By Janeen Cook Express Society Editor Love and the willingness to share that love with children that come into their home seems to be common among Uintah Basin foster parents. This is especially evident in Deon and Thebe Moon, who had foster children in their home since before they had children of their own. And after their three children were born, they were asked if they would take foster children. They have been foster parents now for 28 years. In addition to their three children, they adopted three of their foster children. Why did they become foster parents? They did it because of the love they have for the children. Thebe says that the most important thing in foster parenting is to love the children. "You have to love them in order to take care of them." Thebe said that it is just like raising your own children, no two are alike, and you have to talk with the children to solve their problems. Deon and Thebe feel that it is important impor-tant to give the child a chance. The Social Services staff try to place them in homes that will be good for them. "We have very good case workers. They are very willing to help," Thebe said. Most of the children go back to their own homes with their natural parents, but some stay and are adopted by families. Moons want to give the children a feeling that they are someone, that they are an important person. This gives them a start. Deon and Thebe have had 150 children stay with them sometimes only on-ly a month or more and many others that stayed a shorter time. One girl lived with them 10 years and some until they were 18. Some of the children still live close; many keep in touch with the Moons all the time. They come back and thank them for what they have done for them. One girl thanked them for teaching her that her parents really were wonderful. How do their children feel about having hav-ing foster children in the home? Larry, one of the children they adopted, says that he remembers that there were always plenty of children around to play with; there was always something to do. Deon and Thebe say that the children that have lived with them are beautiful, and they have loved them all. Austin and Bonnie Kendall have been foster parents since September, 1980 and have had 30 foster children in their home. They have three of their own children and Charles, one of their foster children, whom they adopted. Bonnie said they have foster children because "we enjoy it. "Our goal is to make sure that every child that comes into our home has a positive experience so something good has happened in their lives." She says, "The easiest part is loving them and the hardest part is letting them go." She feels that it is very difficult for iel 4 y v it V BONNIE KENDALL says the easiest part of foster care is loving the children. Austin and Bonnie have had 30 foster children. these children to leave their parents and they need a stabilizing force in their lives. She said the foster program "is great. It gives the parents a chance and some initiative to work harder to solve problems so they can get their children back." And it gives the children a place where they are loved and cared for until that time. Usually children are placed in foster homes when the court determines that the parents are not able to provide the basic needs for a child. Sometimes parents will voluntarily place their children with Social Services, otherwise other-wise they are taken by court order. When children are placed in foster care, the court requires that the natural parents plan for what needs to happen in order to get their children back. They work with the Social Services case worker to decide what to do to get their lives in order so they will be able to take care of their children. This may include counseling, parenting classes, parent support groups and visits with the children. Carolyn Henry, Social Services child welfare supervisor, said, "Our goal is to improve the family function enough that the children can be returned to their families and they are no longer at risk for being abused or neglected. Also, they try to have the children in foster care as short a time as possible. When placing a child, they look at the needs of the family and the child. They try not to move the children from the area to a new school. They try not to change their circumstances any more than necessary. A family with which the child will be most comfortable is the goal, but sometimes there are not a lot of options. op-tions. The children have to be placed with a family that can and will take them. Once the children are returned to their family, the Social Services continues con-tinues to provide services to that family fami-ly for a period of time. The Social Services are looking for people willing to be foster parents. Some of the things they look for in foster parents are couples that have been married for at least one year, although they will consider single parents for school aged children; caring car-ing people who can be responsive to and accepting of an individual's needs; and people who enjoy being parents and are able to give without expectation of immediate returns. They look for people who have the ability to help a child grow and change in behavior. One of the hardest things for the foster parents is that they must be willing will-ing to terminate the relationship when a child is returned to parents or placed plac-ed elsewhere. Carolyn Henry says that the foster parents get the children going, go-ing, and get emotionally involved in them, then often have to let them go to return to their natural parents. Some form significant ties that last the rest of their lives and it is difficult to give those children up. Mrs. Henry says that the foster parents feel they have enough love and emotional support to give. They want to help the children out so they won't have to struggle. Although some parents adopt some of their foster tr-m r - , MM ' mSf?M l b ! SHERRY AND Steve Wells are in the process of adopting one of their foster children. Giving the children up is the hardest part of the foster care program for them. children, the foster parents don't do it for this reason. Before becoming foster parents, the couple must complete six hours of training on foster care which usually consists of readings, discussions and speakers. The Social Services staff members help the foster parents with this training. The foster parents are then required to have six hours of training each year. Foster parents may take specialized specializ-ed behavioral, therapeutic and emergency care training. They can then take children with special problems. Mrs; Henry feels that the foster care -program in Vernal has some advantages advan-tages over similar programs in larger cities. "The whole community is more invested in the children." The foster family usually has a good support group that accepts the child as a member of that family. Also, the schools are usually supportive. suppor-tive. Each of the schools in the Uintah School District have a representative that works in the Youth in Custody program. pro-gram. These representatives work with children who have come under the protection of the state. Since each child is different and their problems are different, the representatives work with each child individually. They try to help the children achieve academically. They may meet with the parents, the counselors in the schools, and the teachers. They might arrange tutoring or classes for these children. They have found that the counselors are often called on to help the children and that most of the teachers are willing will-ing to help and put in extra time and effort to help these children. One thing they work with is to help raise the student's self image. Children often blame themselves when there are problems at home, so they need help to understand and ap .. J, , urn NILA BOWLER is president of the Foster Parent Association. She and her husband, John, have been foster parents for six years. preciate their self-worth. These representatives are seen by most of the children they work with as someone who cares, as a friend. Steve and Sherry Wells, being aware that they were not able to have children, applied for foster care and adoption. Their first foster child they had for 30 days and when that child was taken away, Sherry swore she would never have another foster child becuase it was so hard to part with that child. But later Social Services brought them another child and they have continued con-tinued to be foster parents since. Sherry said that the first two or three were very hard for her to give up, but she has learned to deal with it better, They adopted a girl and about a year later had a child, a son, of their own. They are in the process of adopting another boy that is presently a foster child in their home. They feel very good to be able to help the children when no one else will. They learn to love the children, and found that they just don't think about the time when they, will leave. Sherry feels the reward is the feeling feel-ing that they are helping someone, if it is just for a while. She feels they are helping them improve themselves so they will live a little better than when they came. The children, especially the older ones, remember the Wells and come back to visit. Nile Bowler is the president of the Foster Parent Association, an organization that gives support and training to the foster parents. It is important im-portant to each of the foster parents to know that the experiences they are having are probably not unique to them; that many of the other foster parents have similar experiences. The Foster Parent Association has been meeting quarterly, but will be meeting monthly, beginning with their January meeting. On Saturday, Jan. 21, they are having a dinner with guest 1 ; ... . ... i s Ff- I . jmtailMmmmmmmmm:(lmmmm ammmmmmmmmmmimmmmmmmmmmmmlmmmmmmmmmmmmmmi t lj CAROLYN HENRY, child welfare says that they need more foster with a lot of love to give. DEON AND THEBE Moon have a been foster parents to over 150 speakers. They have been in the foster parent program for more than 20 years and have had over 500 foster children in their home. They are involved in-volved in the state and national Foster Parent Association. Nila said the Foster Parent Association Associa-tion is planning to start a training program pro-gram on fostering discipline, which will help foster parents work with children who are adjusting to new rules and forms of discipline. John and Nila Bowler saw the enjoyment enjoy-ment their son, who is an only child, had when they had another child staying stay-ing with them, so they became involved involv-ed with the foster care program. They enjoy having children in their Submitted by the fell1 Vl-,;,iv Wi . V 11 IMP 1 A SWEETER WARMTH I snuggled by the fire to warm a chill that made my teeth quick castanets. To melt my thoughts, I dreamed and lingered there until my sweater sleeve became so hot I felt and smelled the clean mesh of the yarn and knelt to let the warmth caress my face and weave reflection of my mother in that sleeve. Each winter night she carried me to bed. I hid my eyes, all snug in her embrace. I knew the cold sheets waited and that dread made her warmth sweeter. My cold resting place was quickly kindled by my hug-warmed face. ' Now by this fire, my daughter shares my view. Mom's sweater sleeves are warm enough for two. supervisor for Social Services, parents. They look for people lot of love to give. They have children. home and knowing that they need a home and have a right to be where they can be loved and cared for. They feel that maybe they can help by letting let-ting children stay with them as long as necessary until they go back to their natural parents or to a permanent home. John and Nila have had quite a few teenagers live with them and have seen the change in their lives. Nila feels it is rewarding to know that she may have had a part in that change. She says it is very much like raising your own children; you enjoy their success and you laugh with them and you cry with them. Uintah Poetry Society By Bonnie H. Behunin |