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Show V Existential Miner Throw things out By r. n. Goldberger Homer Turtle, ancient Greek philosopher, proclaimed on th the New Year "off with the old-on with the new." This el ' phrase is all that remains of this erudite scholar and even this hasT"' prostituted to the point that no one knows the meaning of this except the Romans, who in their own way cradle things as no on ?S can; civilizations no exceptions. e To help clarify the semantical gratification of a New Year th exists an American ditty that goes something like this. IncidenSf the author is presently unknown: m1 Twas the night before New Years and all through the house Mother was cleaning as fast as a Grouse. Then a knock! on the door, j Still dirt on the floor. A bell hawks the guests Tis only six and the house is a mess. Two sweeps of the broom And it's under the rug, No one will know but next years bug. This bit of proliferated verse and others entitled America Sweeps 01 Memoirs of a Mother were found to be the cause of a mild concussion ' attributed to the American Ambassador to Italy, Edward Life m I Ambassador Life was strolling down the Via Lombardo enroute to a New Years party at Count Dino Martainizi's villa when struck by i ' book. Dazed but otherwise injured Ambassador Life continue to the ' party after being x-rayed for possible brain damage. j Chucking Away Had the Ambassador given thought to the issue at hand he would have realized that what accidentally struck him was part of the ancient Roman rite of 'chucking' away unwanted items New Years ' Eve by the quickest means available. Usually, that being through an f open window yet there are some who do not even bother to open thi i window. j Readers of the New York Times scratched their heads, wonderm what incurs a person to do something like that; especially on New i Years Eve as reading the seriousness the Times took to reporting this ' event. ', Cousin Claudia , A typical of thergiodern Roman, Marchello Adello retired planned ; a quiet New Years eve in his apartment overlooking The Via Lombardo. His wife, Sylvia Adello, had gone shopping, for a couple oi hours to prepare for the next days feast in honor of the New Year when unexpectedly drops in Cousin Claudia from Sicily. "Ah Claudia," sighs Marchello as he makes her quickly feel at home. . For just that very moment of comfort enters Marchello's wile accompanied by her Grandfather Frabrazio, a grower fromPalerrm i Marchello, seized by the gravity of the moment, feigns a faint lest Sylvia finds out just how comfortable Cousin Claudia has been, j Claudia screams, drops a book on the floor, and in general runs -around creating truthful credibility. Marchello's wife Sylvh rushed to his side while in the milieu Grandfather Frabrazio picks up the book, shakes his head, and tosses it out the window. Sylvia Marchello sends Claudia down to the 'drugstore' for salts who in turn cleverly gels picked up by Valentino; to be whished away on a Vespa to herald the new year. So what does this have to do with why The Romans toss things on! 3f windows New Years Eve? Famous Italian director, Fredericko Fedora plans to do a film on the essence of a garbage man since even lay is a new one to him. Incidentally whats under your rug in 69 |