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Show " -7 a c ) i X' (By the author of ''R(iUyRoinul the Flag, Boys!'' , MONEY : THE STORY OF AN ENGINEER We all know, of course, that in this age of technology every engineering senior is receiving fabulous offers of employment, but do we realize just how fabulous these offers are? Do we comprehend just how keenly industry is competing? To illustrate, let me cite the true and typical typi-cal case of E. Pluribus Ewbank, a true and typical senior. One day last week while strolling across the M.I.T campus, E. Pluribus was hailed by a portly and prosperous prosper-ous man who sat in a yellow convertible studded with precious gem stones. "Hello," said the portly and prosperous pros-perous man, "I am Portly Prosperous, president of American Xerographic Data Processing and Birth Control, Con-trol, Incorporated. Are you a senior?" "Yes, sir," said E. Pluribus. "Do you like this car?" said Portly. "Yes, sir," said E. Pluribus. "It's yours," said Portly. "Thanks, hey," said E. Pluribus. "Do you like Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades?" said Portly. "What clean living, clean shaven American does not?" said E. Pluribus. "Here is a pack," said Portly. "And a new pack will be delivered to you every twelve minutes as long as you live." . "Thanks, hey," said E. Pluribus. "Would your wife like a mink coat?" said Portly. "I feel' sure she would," said E. Pluribus, "but I am not married." "Do you want to be ?" said Portly. "What clean living, clean shaven American does not?" said E. Pluribus. Portly pressed a button on the dashboard of the convertible con-vertible and the trunk opened up and out came a nubile maiden with golden hair, rosy knees, a perfect disposition, disposi-tion, and the appendix already removed. "This is Svet-lana Svet-lana O'Toole," said Portly. "Would you like to marry her?" "Is her appendix out ?" said E. Pluribus. "Yes," said Portly. "Okay, hey," said E. Pluribus. "Congratulations," said Portly. "And for the happy bride, a set of 300 monogrammed prawn forks." "Thanks, hey," said Svetlana. "Now then," said Portly to E. Pluribus, "let us get down to business. My company will start you at $75,000 a year. You will retire at full salary upon reaching the age of 26. We will give you an eleven-story house made of lapis lazuli, each room to be stocked with edible furniture. Your children will receive a pack of Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades every twelve minutes as long as they shall live. We will keep your teeth in good repair and also the teeth of your wife and children unto the third generation. genera-tion. We will send your dentist a pack of Personna Super Stainless Steel Blades every twelve minutes as long as he shall live, and thereafter to his heirs and assigns... Now, son, I want you to think carefully about this offer. Meanwhile here is 50 thousand dollars in small, unmarked un-marked bills which places you under no obligation whatsoever." what-soever." "Well, it certainly seems like a fair offer," said E. Pluribus. "But there is something you should know. I am not an engineer. In fact I don't go to M.I.T at all. I just walked over here to admire the trees. I am at Harvard, majoring in Joyce Kilmer." "Oh," said Portly. "I guess I don't get to keep the money and the convertible con-vertible and the Personnas and the broad, do I?" said E. Pluribus. "Of course you do," said Portly. "And if you'd like the job, my offer still stands." 1968. Mm Shulman Speaking of wealth, if you want a truly rich, truly luxurious shave, try Personna Blades, regular or injector, injec-tor, with Burma-Shave, regular or menthol. There,s a champagne shave on a beer budget! |