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Show Parents' Problems By DONALD M. MAYNARD "Bossy" Youngsters i "What is the best approach to a 5-year-old who is inclined to (boss her younger playmates?" Inasmuch as you imply your daughter's "bossiness" is not I I extreme, there is no cause for alarm on your part. Five-year-fjs olds frequently tend to boss younger children, although it also should be noted that many t". at this age become a bit less "bossyy" than formerly, f.' As you supervise the play of f these children, suggest to your 3v daughter that "It's fun to take turns doing what each one &v wants to do," and then quietly s ; guide their activities so that the li;: younger children have some of their wishes granted. ?v In doing this you may need to guard against the tendency to pay more attention to the 1 young children's wishes than to your own child's desires. In pi' other words, try to see that there is fair play on the part d5 of all. 'ie If your child should become extremely demanding in her .'J; play with younger children, it it . may reflect a resentment " against older children who boss i her, or even against you and y- your husband. I don't believe u this is the cause of your child's ;;" behavior, however. Therefore, let me recommend ; quiet suggestions rather than ; scolding or any form of extran-C extran-C eous punishment. Sometimes parents tell their children that they can't play with younger jjj children until they are willing SI to do so without bossing them. It At times this may be effective, effec-tive, although there is a danger that it may stifle qualities of leadership that temporarily are 3 expressing themselves in this unfortunate manner. t . If you have a question about your child from infancy in-fancy through the teens send it lo Donald M. Mayn-ard. Mayn-ard. 810 Broadway, Nashville 2, Tennessee, to be answered through a future column. no reason why they should not be paid for doing them. But these will be exceptional cases and I would guard at all times against letting children think of work at home primarily in terms of monetary award. The Family Circle "We hear much about how important it is for families to be together. Our children are reaching the age when they want to be with the gang most of the time. They don't like to hang around home, play games with the family, etc. Frankly, we like for them to be with their friends and we like to be with ours. Should we try harder to keep the family together," to-gether," I'm not sure that you should. When children are young, many happy hours may be spenl1 playing games and having other interesting family experiences. There comes a time, as it has come for your children, when youngsters want to be out with members of the gang most of the time. You are quite right in feeling that they should have the privilege of being with their friends and you with yours. Certainly you should not chide them because they are not spending more time with you. Nevertheless it is unfortunate if, as children grow older, families fam-ilies never have any time together to-gether for fun and fellowship. Perhaps members of the family can make definite plans to stay at home and enjoy each other one night a week, or if that is too often, one night a month. Some families may enjoy making popcorn and candy and playing games together; others may enjoy listening to records; still others may want to work on individual hobbies, or just to talk. Occasional trips together to-gether as a family may be enjoyed. en-joyed. Some families enjoy going go-ing to a ball game together. In other words, it is wise to plan for occasional family "get-togethers." It should not be forgotten , that gangs usually must have some place to- go! Encourage your children to bring their gangs to your house, and then be sure to remain discreetly in the background while they are there. Let them use the living room and the kitchen for their activities. Your house may not remain as spic and span as it would otherwise, but after all, youngsters young-sters are more important than having a house in perfect order! (Dr. Maynard's new booklet, book-let, "Your Child Today," discusses dis-cusses 20 of the most common problems of parents. It's Free. Mail a postcard to Donald Don-ald M. Maynard, 810 Broadway, Broad-way, Nashville 2, Tennessee, and ask for a copy.) SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST Sabbath School, 10 a. m. Supts., Lillian Mayer and Lee Schiedeman. Church Service, 11 a. m. Pastor, Burton J. Boundey. Services are held Saturday In the Community Hall in South Milford. All are welcome. Paying for Home Work "Should children be paid for doing work at home washing dishes, mowing the lawn, and so forth?" This problem of whether or not one should pay children for work cfone at home cannot be separated from that of an allowance. al-lowance. As a member of -. the -family each child should have some of the privileges that go with fam-5 fam-5 ily membership. One of these !j is a share of the family income, j Th.'s will take the form of an allowance, the amount to be de-1 de-1 teimined by the age and needs of the child and the status of the family bank account. Generally speaking, the allowance al-lowance should be large enough to meet the basic needs of the child and to provide a few luxuries, lux-uries, but should not be so large that he feels no need for saving or wise spending. Just as the child should have some of the privileges that go along with family membership, so should he assume some of the responsibilities that inhere in this relationship. These involve in-volve work around the home and yard. Let children and parents decide together what are to be the responsibilties of the children. If, for example, washing dishes and mowing lawns are to be included, as well they may be, certainly children should not be paid for them. There will be emergencies, also, when it is necessary for the entire family to pitch in and help, without any thought of monetary mone-tary award. I On the other hand, if, over I and above the duties regularly assigned to children, they are asked to do specific tasks for which the family ordinarily Pays someone else, then I see |
