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Show Things I Never Knew 'Til Now (Because the teachers were too pretty) That Shakespeare's most loquacious loqua-cious character was Hamlet, to whom he gave 1,569 speaking lines. (Showing off again that he can read!) That in Indianapolis, Ind., it's illegal for a mustached man to kiss anyone. - (Mustache my lawyer about that!) That Oscar Wilde's full name was Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde. (They called him "Whoopsss!" for short.) That according to the department of commerce the American public spends 400 million dollars a year on restaurant tips. ' That the brain isn't mentioned in the Bible. (Now he's trying to tell us he reads the Bible! ) That in West Cork, Ireland, relief clients who are toothless and unable un-able to chew the free beef are given whisky instead. (Mebbe that's why they say Ireland is "a little bit of heaven.") That when someone once asked Heywood Broun what was the most important qualification for a columnist col-umnist he replied: "To own a waste basket." (You're telling me!) That you can forecast the weather yourself by observing the change in the wind's direction. (If the change is in a clockwise direction, the weather will improve. If it's counter-clockwise, carry your umbrella!) That Dante, the Italian poet who wrote "The Divine Comedy," trained his pet cat to sit on a table and hold a burning candle in its paws while he read. (It must have been the cats!) That a woman's brain is 140 grams lighter than a man's, i (So will you kindly keep still and listen?) That the reason "Q" is the only letter omitted from the telephone dial is because it would look so much like "O" that people would be confused and dial wrong numbers. num-bers. (And I do mean Q!) That the Michigan State college curriculum now includes a course for blacksmiths. (Shoe 'nuff!) That you weigh more in an elevator ele-vator when it is going up. (Is there anything that man doesn't know?) That if you have trouble loosening tight screws and bolts, a few drops of peroxide will do the trick. (Ask me anything!) That the color ink you use is supposed sup-posed to be a clue to your character. Black ink shows sound opinions blue ink, a happy balance between intellect and sentimentality violet ink, impulsiveness and choleric temperament tem-perament and red ink reveals obstinacy, ob-stinacy, quarrelsomeness and a tendency tend-ency to dominate others. (It also shows that business isn't so good.) That if prisoners in Mexico City are married, they may receive overnight visits from their wives and are given special quarters away from the cell block. (Latins are so romantic!) That a Hindu trick for wooing slumber is to close the eyes and concentrate on looking inward toward to-ward the nose supposed to put you to sleep in less than two minutes. (Who'll count my sheep for me while I'm fooling around with Hindu tricks?) That when Mrs. Harry S. Truman attended the Barstow School for Girls she excelled in the shotput. (Hmmm, so that's where Margaret inherited her talent!) That almost four times as much aspirin is used today as in 1929 10 million pounds instead in-stead of 1929's 2,500,000. (Some fun, eh, kid?) That more U. S. Presidents have died in July than any other month, and that no President ever died in May. (Seven died in July, includ-' ing John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe.) That a popular misconception is that Big Ben is the name of the clock on the House of Parliament in London. (It's not it's the name of the bell that strikes the hour.) That according to a Smithsonian anthropologist, the cave man's ideal femme measured the same in all three directions. (Every man to his own taste!) ' That geologists predict Niagara Ni-agara falls will cease to exist by 22000 A. D., because they're continually retreating. (Gosh you'd better hurry np and see them!) That giraffes in captivity have an intense dislike for women. (The big dopes!) |
