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Show Cedar great town for rumors Cedar City is a great town ior rumors. The old rumor mill in . this area operates round-the-clock and if people could be employed therein, it would solve the City's job shortage problem and eliminate the need lor an industrial park. fMike Cannon source ol the many tantalizing tidbits of tasty truth I loating around ; or so rumor around the office has it. Hoportedly, or so I've heard from Aunt Bernice's parakeet's original owner's third-nephew's paper boy's best customer (who happens to be totally infallible, according to the parakeet) there is just such a factory around here somewhere. If it can only Ix.' discovered, wow, what a story. Supposedly, now this is second hand but I'm sure correct, people work for hours on end in this place, devising tasty tales alwut anyone and anything. During their breaks and lunch hours, and again don't quote me on this, workers hang huge weights from their chins and talk speedily, waggling their tongues mightily to properly excercise their vocal paraphernalia. They have strong jaws that can crush walnuts and chomp the toughest jerky with ease and they talk 26.2 hour marathons on weekends. This factory could be around anyplace. It's been said, offhand and off the record, that it is housed in the hills around Cedar City or that it lies underneath un-derneath a building in town. People in this place, or so I've been told, daily sharpen their tongues on grindstones to make their jabs a bit more pointed. They don't french kiss lor fear of having their tongues severed. Finally, these workers are always nice when you're in their presence. They smile, giggle and pat you on the back. Once your back's turned however, watch out. That finely honed tongue will jab and poke you. 1 guess maybe this stuff shouldn't be printed without further varifying its authenticity. What if it isn't true? Oh, that's silly. After all, 1 heard it from Bob's orthopedic eyedoctor's tongue depressor salesman's great grand-lather's grand-lather's Little League coach's batboy. And batboys never lie! The size of such a place would rival any factory in the U.S. and would make Geneva Steel look like Hank's Sheet Metal. In fact, I have a hunch there is just such a factory somewhere around Cedar City and have been assigned to do some hard hitting, investigative reporting on the subject and find the |