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Show have to sleep alone, such as policemen, doctors, and newspaper reporters?" "They would have a special sticker put on their beds exempting them from the bundling laws. This sticker would be given only to people who could prove their work is so essential they cannot bundle up with anyone. "How do you think the American people will take to forced bundling?" "I think the American people will be willing to share their beds with others once Ford explains it to them. Body heat is still the greatest resource this country has, and we can get through the winter providing everyone co-operates with each other." "Suppose you have a large empty bed and no one to bundle with? What do you do then?" "We hope to set up bed-pooling bed-pooling information centers all over the country. All you would have to do is call a number and we'd tell you who is looking for someone to share a bed. These centers would be open 24 hours a day." "It sounds complicated," I said. "But I guess it's worth it." Applebaum said, "It will work. To get the people to co-operate, we will have an advertising campaign on television." "What will be your slogan?" "Every time you share your bed this winter, something some-thing in an Arab sheik dies." Applebaum Too AN ENERGY SAYING PROGRAM Everyone is coming up with new methods of helping during the energy crisis. Some ideas are nutty, but others are very practical and should be called to the attention of the government. Professor Heinrich Applebaum Ap-plebaum has been studying new methods of sharing heat, and has just written a paper titled "Bundling and the Energy Crisis" which he presented to the Society of Thermostat Inspectors. Applebaum told me after giving his report, "The place where we waste the most heat in our homes is in bed. America can no longer afford the luxury of having one person sleep in bed all by himself. If we can persuade people to voluntarily share their beds, we could turn down the thermostats In our homes seven degrees." "Would these people have to be married?" I asked. "In normal times I would say yes. But this is the biggest emergency our country has ever faced and I think people should be given waivers if they aren't mar ried, at least until the crisis is over." "Then you consider bed-pooling bed-pooling as a major solution to the heating shortage?" "Absolutely. We must make Americans feel unpatriotic un-patriotic if they go to bed alone. We must Instill a new spirit of bundling in this country." "It sounds great on paper," I said, "but suppose people refuse to share their bed with others?" Applebaum pursed his Hps. "Then the government will have to step in and take forceful measures. These could include putting a surtax on citizens who insist on sleeping alone. This tax would be so high that it would be very unprofitable to refuse to bundle with some -body else. We could also give tax deductions to those who are willing to pool their beds. For example, if Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice were willing to bundle to together they would get 10 percent off on their Income taxes." "What about people who |