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Show THE SIGNPOST Opinion Environmentalist whiners need to save their wails Wednesday, May 1, 1991 By Paul B. Johnson Managing editor of The Sgnpost Think back to the days when we could lay in the sun for hours on end, douse our underarms with aerosol in blessed ignorance, drive our gas-guzzling,pollution-spewing automobiles guilt-free. Now, however, our innocence is defiled. We know too much, thanks to the constant proddings of those whining environmentalists. If it's not one thing, it's another: global warming, rain forest destruction, industrial waste in the rivers; all thoms in the sides of our good, honest American corporations that environmentalists insist on pushing even deeper. Given, the world may have a few problems, but there are several advantages to society's general disregard and lack of respect for our natural resources. Consider the "Greenhouse effect," or global warming, which asserts that due to the increasing levels of pollution in the atmosphere, the Earth's temperature will continue to rise. Despite the predictions of doom, this isn't necessarily such a bad thing. For instance, think back to the dead of winter when we were all freezing our collective tootsies off if it were one degree, five degrees, heck, 20 degrees warmer, would it really matter? Probably not. Sure, it would be warmer in the summer, too, but since it's already too hot to go outside much anyway, a few more degrees isn't really going to matter as long as we've got plenty of freon in the air conditioner. If it were to get significantly warmer, scientists tell us, the global ice caps would melt like ice cream on a sidewalk and raise the level of the ocean, potentially turning California into a modern-day Atlantis. It seems to me like this would actually please environmentalists, being that they're continually griping about all the West Coast smog, acid rain, etc. Besides, with California under water, the beach would be a lot closer. We could all pack into our cars and roar down the interstate where vacation and fun would await no more than a few hours away. Once there, though we couldn't expose any flesh to the non-ozone-blocked, radiation-rich rays of the sun, we could lounge in comfort in our air-conditioned hotel rooms as we gaze out over the r sir it' wflSRAfmA Urn muiMm There's an IBM PS2 made for every student body. 1 Creen grass and blazing sun. Term papers and lab reports. The IBM PS2 has what you need to get you through your work and into spring. It has preloaded software that'll let you create impressive papers, graphjes and spreadsheets in no lime. A mouse to malce il easy to use. Great tools like a notepad, calendar and cardfile. Plus, its expandable, so it can grow along with you. The IBM Personal Syslem2" has all this at a super student price and alFnrdahle loan payments with the IBM PS2 Loan for Learning And on a different note, you can transform your IBM PS2 with Micro Channel into an exciting music maker with the Koland Desktop Music System. So get something that will help you get through your work and into (he sun. After all, spring, like the IBM PS2, was made for every ( student body. Weber State University MoenchMall Tuesday, April 30, 1991 NmamTif"'! miasm - 1 BOOKSTORE Jay R- Cummings WSU Colegiate Rep. 7 Home: 399-5234 A IBM: 328-6196 . Gerald Adams WSU Collegiate Rep. Home: 825-9799 ernnttn to nnwM 8M BM tmZ and M-cro Own ar ragiatarM AM Corporation 1WI of Imarnailorm Buwm Mcnr Corporation. Roland la a raojuarad Iraoamark of Rotand Corporation. US. serene beauty of the Carson City bcachside. Scientists also say that rising temperatures could mean major shifts in agricultural production, meaning in essence that we'll soon be "suffering" from shortages of vegetables. This may raise a few eyebrows of concern, but if you're like most college students, think about how often you actually eat vegetables. You'll no longer feel obligated to purchase produce only to have it rot into brownish lumps of decayed organic material. As long as the pepperoni market isn't affected, we probably have little to worry about as far as substantial sustenance. Environmentalist arguments often fail to mention such fringe benefits. For example, fishermen probably find it much easier just to gather deceased carcasses from the surface of polluted water rather than having to spend tedious hours dangling worms. Diminishirgrain forests, full of all sorts of weird plants and strange bugs, are being replaced by lovely, safe condominiums, some of which even have cable television. The biggest benefits of all, however, are found in the combined effects of all our environmental problems as a whole. By ignoring our future, we're indirectly solving other pesky problems like the rising world population dilemma, giving rise to what could be called the "pollution solution."Let's just hope the environmentalists don't mess it all up. M 1 Tie lei Tlitx RESTAURANTS Thank you WaiHotty magazine readers fornamingTheTraining Table Restaurants, "The Best Of The Best," in the recent readers' Restaurant Poll.t Now grab your friends and come enjoy what many have said are the "best hamburgers in Utah." Imagine your choice of seventeen delicious, flame-broiled varieties.. .from the hearty Ail-American to our new Green Chili Burger to the one that made us famous... The Bleu Bacon Burger. Experience The Training Table's fresh, crisp salads, creamy hoi soups and tasty sandwiches. . . including three great tasting versions of our special grilled chicken breast fillet. 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