Show jokes A reinvestment A missouri man tells of an irishman named coughlan ln who lived in a shanty standing in a field near the main highway from kansas city the toun dallons of the shanty were lower than the road through which ran a big water main As the living floor ot the place was raised on posts to make it level with the highway it lett a large cellar underneath where coughlan ln kept a dozen hens one day the water main bunt flood ing the cellar and drowning the bens whereupon coughlan ln took steps to en ter a claim for damages against the city after much delay influential friends succeeded in securing the sum ot 25 in settlement ot B claim ive got me money shouted the irishman to a neighbor sitting on the steps of the next shanty its glad I 1 am to hear was the reply and how much was it dollars and chwat are ye coln to do with the twenty dolve coughlan ln im going to buy twenty tolve dol lars worth 0 ducks said coughlan ln harpers weekly not unnecessary and the name Is to be asked the suave minister as be approached the font with the precious armful of fat and flounces augustus philip ferdinand ton chesterfield smith dear dear turning to the sex ton A letle more water mr ns it you please royal magazine philanthropy UP TO DATE the man when mr carey died he left all be bad to the orphan asylum the clergyman indeed that was nice ot him what did he leave the man ills 12 children hardened did you feel at all nervous when you got up before that crowd to make your speech 9 no I 1 had just interviewed the father of the girl I 1 intend to marry and felt after having dealt with him that I 1 could face anything chicago record herald extended hours you used to hold me on your lap every day when we were first mar aled complained mrs broggs yes asserted mr broggs you used to sit on my lap tor an hour at a stretch now sou sit on me most of the time cleveland leader RUBBING IT IN bronson easy seems rather vexed because mrs fasy bought a spring bonnet that a pretty way tor bridegroom of a few months to act woodson yes dut she insisted on having the hat trimmed with mistletoe dronson what woodson nothing only easy says it he haan hadn t kissed her under th mis toetoe last december he be paying for that hat now unconscious truth don t you ever go to madame chit ton for your gowns inquired one society girl of another no indeed emphatically replied the other if I 1 went to that woman and she made a gown to suit my figure I 1 d have a fit baltimore american the universal feminine law that clever miss penne confided to me such high journalistic ideals and here she has gone to work on the most sensational dally in town yes I 1 know her ideals were all right but you see yellow Is so becom ine to her baltimore american guile they dont worry me with their lavage dogs how do you get round cm Veary 9 when I 1 hear a dog bark I 1 gits out ne memory ander book an pretends 0 be looking round an taken notes lyer seea yes an they takes me for the man ome for the dog license magazine THE coquettish HABIT mr acker I 1 dont like your new hat my dear airs acker I 1 m not surprised ame mme de swell said it was the sort of hat that husbands wouldn t like an epicure customer what Is this tough tasteless substance in this custard pie walter cocoanut coco anut sah cus y tard topped with cocoanut coco anut customer hum well take it out and bring me custard topped with rich juicy white pine sawdust N Y weekly frenzied finance fedderly Wed derly I 1 made the mistake of my life when I 1 gave my wife a 20 gold piece on the first anniversary of our marriage singleton how s that fedderly Wed derly ive had to give her 20 a week ever since to keep her from spending it chicago dally news no divided allegiance for her so ou rejected that young fireman did you aln I 1 surely did do you suppose I 1 d marry a man who might leave meat any hour of the 24 to dance attend ance on some other flame chicago tribune HE IS THE VICTIM your wife pays for dress ing old man gee I 1 wish she did chicago journal arboreal so your son in law has a family tree yes answered mr cumrow but I 1 m kind of suspicious that some of i american citizens aren t going about the work of preserving the forests the right way washington star wrong selections why doean doesn t that man get on in politics he seems capable and ln yes answered senator sorghum he Is all that but he showed bad judgment in selecting his opinions washington star IN LEAP YEAR she win you be alno he well I 1 have an appointment with miss jones tomorrow to morrow night and I 1 have halt promised her |