Show II 9 St c z Good Go J self self-corce self concept self self-co t very verv important By Dr Robert ft 0 G. G Vincent ThU INI column appear appears on a bi bimonthly hi bt ns monthly buss basis in the Vernal Express for fot the purpose el of hel helping answer anwer concerns and problems problem of an in emotional nature which the residents resident elthe of el the basin areas may be experiencing IF YOU the readers of cI the column have any concerns concern regarding the psychological health of el yourself or someone eJ else e methods and techniques elthe of el the mental health profession or or other Issues relating to mental health work I would appreciate I a a card or letter detailing your concerns one and ideas I will attempt to answer them in future articles No names will willbe be given n. n Your Inquiries can can be besent besent sent lent to me In care of or the Vernal Clinic 75 North 2 West Wes Vernal Utah Recently a concerned mother In Vernal wrote me the following letter leter My eleven eleven- year old son n seems t to lack self sell confidence He continually makes statements which indicate Indicate in In- he feels feels' Inferior to his friends He doesn't seem to have a pod good self Could you yo perhaps offer some suggestions suggestion to help i J iTHE THE CONCEPT CONCEPT usually refers to a term the feeling an Ian individual Individual In in In- has ha about himself and whether that is positive or negative It Is' Is isa a product ct of life experiences and how they have been perceived an and Interpreted as u reflecting a positive or negative view of himself This generally occurs as the individual in In- mea measures ru hiss his capabilities talents and performance per per- m against t th that tot of others odIen i i- iSome Some re research indicates that l early adole adolescents centa tend to have a better self image image if th they y mature malUre earlier helps them cam compete socially and achieve a higher degree 0 of acceptance j jamona among amona their peen Chronically ill in children also tend to have a lower laver self image than their their healthier peers peen While there is some same bl biological contribution c. c to o self image environmental influences bilu ce are are by far mOre mace more all significant Ibis meana man that adults in a childs child's life m must moat lt take responsibility to assist the child in developing op ng a a sere sense of COD COD- fIden e. e w Some general suggestions may be helpful THE mE CHILD should be be given lv n opportunity to I develop I this talents arid and given encouragement en- en en ment caura-ment DV when when he fa es aDV a poten potential failure It is important that as the child risks risk himself In new experiences that he is given encouragement and support so the experience becomes a success to him Nothing Is more damaging to a positive self concept than failure I was discussing a fathers father's relationship with his young six six- year old recently He said You know I expect miracles from my my kid He cant can't make any kind of el mistake without me Jumping all over him I think hes he's become afraid of 01 me me High expectations are important but bur we cant can't when the child doesn't meet our expectations expectation Rather we should hould offer support and ten len In this regard it is helpful to differentiate between the child and his behavior It is II the behavior that is its sometimes unacceptable but never the child When disciplining therefore avoid avold the use of 01 words which give the child a sense sane of inadequacy and attack his his' self Such words include stupid dumb bad etc Children also have a ahard ahard ahard hard time tolerating negative emotion especially intense anger One should avoid saying things in anger which might serve to give the child a sense of f inadequacy Children sometimes feel down and will verbalize some negative fe feelings feelings' about themselves H It is Is' Import Important nt i to challenge these statements and offer support and encouragement en en- DISCUSSING A childs child's con concerns concern erns and problems problems' with him provides l an an opportunity to to Offer offer help Children generally ev events In In their lives much more much more ser seriously than Jis is necessary necessary It is helpful to offer elfer adult perspectives to children so they don't dont continue an end of 01 the Of-the the world attitude Helping children deve develop op a positive self-concept self means helping them deal deil with I problems problem This means being able to talk with them I would like to discuss 81 that tha i in my next neXt column I I |