Show t I 1 f I 1 I 1 I 1 john henry I 1 I 1 on I 1 I 1 christmas I 1 t I 1 presents I 1 I 1 I 1 1 I 1 1 by GEORGE 11 aff t bt byn AY I 1 did you ever I 1 take what little was left and start I 1 out to buy friend wife a christmas token I 1 A quaint pastime IN la is it not well to mako make a I 1 long story loso lose its cunning I 1 clinked a few ow iron men to r gether one morning recently and started out to find I 1 I 1 something now and 14 nifty arty in the gift line tor for peaches I 1 was breezing for a department store when I 1 ran across I 1 hop flop hardy limping in the direction of 0 a taxicab stand I 1 up late arent you iipp hop I 1 inquired glancing at ai the waterbury 1 I sure am running behind my schedule this morning john hep wheezed I 1 accident the matter fuse blow out and leave you and your favorite b bartender ar in darkness I 1 ventured nix ho he answered 1 I interpolated a now stop in the tango about five this a m and my partner an impulsive little thing from spokane Bp I 1 get my signal with the result that sho she stopped stell pea on me and lost one of her french heels somewhere between my ankle and my instep I 1 had to watt wait I 1 s till a doctor I 1 shop was open so he I 1 could probe for it the medicine ped adlor found it all right and my left 1 1 wheel Is a bit wobbly but ill be in fix the roped arena tonight when the boll bell rings clamoring for my favorite rag 9 I 1 you can bet on that john old pal the h dance bug has as you for fair 1 it hep I 1 laughed not at all hep flop came back but like a lot of other binks who have been I 1 going through life with stoop shoulders and plantation feet ive suddenly I 1 discovered how to bo be graceful and I 1 have to stay up alt all night to see if I 1 I 1 other people noti colt it whore where are you going im going down to see ono one of those stores and make abool a fool out of fifty dollars little christmas present for peaches Pea chos I 1 answered I 1 fifty dol dollars laral hop flop sneered say 1 john it if I 1 had a wife and we were I 1 speaking to each other fifty dollars 1 buy the ribbon around the bundle fifty dol dollars laral you make a ligeia like a pike I 1 surel sure 1 I snapped back it if you had a wife take her down to I 1 your favorite jewelry store and let the I 1 dorks clerks throw diamonds at her till they I 1 loll foil exhausted bunim just a regular I 1 I 1 1 I 1 0 O I 1 I 1 4 N I 1 I 1 I 1 L I 1 40 I 1 11 I 1 I 1 t 0 0 I 1 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 I 1 9 1 I 1 I 1 0 I 1 16 I 1 11 1 I 1 0 I 1 j A lot of eager dames were pawing A 1 over some soma chinchilla ribbon I 1 human being working wording for a living and add every time I 1 see sea a hundred dollar bill I 1 get red in the face and want a drink I 1 of 0 water you know hep my father spend his flis life wrapping it up in bundles and throwing it into an iron woodshed shed against the time I 1 became old enough to use it as a torch 1 sayi chirped hep who paid the slightest attention to what I 1 was saying why dont you get tier her an emerald amerald necklace some idea bhatt I 1 I 1 saw BOW ono one the other day tor for walt wait 1 a mini minute itel 1 ill give you a card to the manager give it to the chauffeur I 1 said as I 1 pushed hop hep into the taxi by the time he ibets you homo home owe him tobay to buy emeralds then i left him flat and moneyed moseyed rift off for a department store to got a present for friend wife J jugal IV I 1 did you ever get ting tingled tangled led up in I 1 I 1 I 1 4 7 I 1 1 14 one of those department store mobs caoba and havo have a crowd of perfect ladles ladies use you for a doormat doorman door mat I 1 got mine they certainly taught roo me tho the huerta glide all right I 1 at the door a nice young roan man with a pink necktie and a quick forehead bowed to mo me whet what do you wish ho he asked well I 1 said im down hero here to lo got a christmas present for friend wife I 1 would like something which would afford her groat great pleasure plea suro when I 1 give it to her and which I 1 could use afterward as a or a fishing rod second floor to the right tako tho the elevator said eald the man did you over try to tako take an elevator in a department store and find that other american citizens and citizen ettes were also trying to t 0 take the same elevator ilow how sweet it Is to mingle in tho the arms of utter strangers and to fool feel the pressure of a foot we never hope to meet again 1 I 1 was standing by ono one of the counters on the second floor when a shrill voice crept up over a few bales of dry I 1 13 a A I 1 I 1 ill i P nl f I 1 I 1 I 1 R a a 0 the pale young woman fainted goods and said aro are you a buyer or a handler 1 I ata am looking for a christmas pr present a TI tor for friend wife I 1 answered 1 I want to get something somo thing that will look swell on the parlor table and may be used later on as a tobacco jar or a trouser stretcher I 1 fourth floor to the lett left tako take the cleva elevator torl said tho the shrill voice but shrilled shriller sh ah riller with bowed head I 1 walked away I 1 began to feel sorry for friend wife nobody seemed to be very much interested te whether she got a christmas present or not on the fourth floor I 1 stopped at a counter where a lot of eager dames wore nvere pawing over some chinchilla ribbon and chiffon over overskirts skirts it reminded me of the way an emotional hen digs up a grub in tho the garden den I 1 enjoyed the excitement of tho the game for about ten minutes and then I 1 said to tho the clerk behind the counter who was refereeing tho the match can you tell me where I 1 can buy a sterling silver christmas present tor for friend wife which I 1 could use afterward as a night key or a gath sponge sp ongo fifth floor to the rear take taka tho the clova eleva torl said the clerk on the fifth floor I 1 went over to a table where a young lady was selling tho the lito life and libraries of andrew Carne carnegie gio at four dollars a month and fifty cents a week and in three years it Is yours it you dont lose tho the receipts she gave me a glad smile and J felt a thrill of encouragement excuse me I 1 said but I 1 am looking tor for a christmas present tor for friend wife which will make all tho the neighbors jealous and which I 1 can use aft berward as an ash receiver or a pocket flask ahe the young lady cut out the giggles and pointed to the northwest 1 I went over there to my surprise I 1 found another counter A pale young woman was behind it I 1 was just about to ask her the fatal ques question tiou when a young man wearing a ragtime expression on his face rushed up and said to the pale young lady behind the counter 1 I am looking for a suitable present tor for a young lady friend of mine with golden brown hair could you please suggest something the pale young woman showed her teeth and answered him in a low rumbling voice and the man went away then came anold an old lady who said 1 I 1 bought some or gandie dress goods for a shirt waist last Tuc tuesday iday and I 1 would like to exchange them fora music box tor for my daughters little boy freddie it you pl please easel I 1 the palo pale young woman again showed her teeth and the old lady ducked tor for cover after about fifty people had rushed vp up to the rale young woman and then rushed away again I 1 went over and spoke to her 1 I am looking I 1 said for a christmas present for friend wife I 1 want to get something that will give wr hr t great amount of pleasure pl casura and which I 1 can use later on as a pipe cleaner or a pair ot of suspenders I 1 the pale young woman fainted so I 1 moved over at another counter another youna lady said to me have dave you beau waited on no I 1 replied 1 I have been stopped stepped on sat on and walked on but I 1 have not yet boon been waited on what do you wish inquired tho th young woman 1 I am looking for a christmas pros ont for friend wife ho he said 1 I want to buy her something that will bring beat joy to her heart and which I 1 might uso use afterward as a pair of slippers or a shaving mug tho the young lady caught ma with her dreamy eyes eye sand and hold held me up against the wall you she screamed you complete completa a total of people who have beet in this department store today walthou knowing what they are doing here and I 1 refuse to be a human oncy lope dla dia for tho the sako sake of eight dollars a week go on now throw yourself in irr to second speed and climb the will I 1 I 1 began to apo apologize loglio but reached down under tinder tho the cou counter anter and pulled out a club I 1 this she said with a wild 1001 t in her side lamps this la Is happy yule tide but nevertheless the next guy guyl that leaves his bis brains at homo home and i tries to make mo me tell him what it is n good christmas present for his wit wife ef will get a bitter wallop across t th 1 0 i for forehead cheadl 1 the girl was right so I 1 went hora home without a present I 1 suppose ill havo have to take ta ko hops ailep I 1 13 til and get those emeralds after all dut but first ill go down to the dell ca storo store and see if theres there s any thing ahing thoro there |