Show JONES PUT UP A SUB substitute STATUTE anca deli G on ad affif aln net ap akee if there Is ono one thing I 1 liate hate remarked mr jones it Is after dinner detiner speeches well once I 1 fall found n d in ya I 1 elf at a big banquet where I 1 gnew very few i ew of those present to my iny amazement and horror toward the end of tho the festivities the toa st master fixed als eyes upon me we have with us tonight to nf night ht I 1 heard tile the old listed habeil formula roll out unctuously from his lips and then my own namo wr mr jones tho the well known etc I 1 the toastmaster concluded but 1 I 1 made no move to get on my feel felt paralyzed my tongue was s e ss to climb through the root roofs of kiy m y and then the guests from all alj began yelling yes jones A onea jonas which Is jones where Is jones A brilliant idea came camb to me sitting close beside me was waa a little roan man who dearly loved speechifying speechify ing like a flash I 1 jumped to my feet jones why heres jones I 1 cried and clapped the little demosthenes Demosthene on the shoulder then I 1 yanked him to his feet jurmu murmuring ring in an ominous voce dont give me away speak I 1 now ho spoke and in the guise of myself lie he made a most success successful fitl little oration there was waa loud BP ap slid and much Bh shouting outing of he matter with jonest lies hes all right As for me I 1 sipped wine and gradually recovered from froin the nervous shock occasioned by my narrow escape from i being eloquent |