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Show Hawkeye Glances. It takes a brass band to fill the air with broken silence. More men are made, or saved, by their wives than by themselves. The man who has gathered a big ice crop wants to keep it shady. - (New Orleans Picaynue. Wheat is "thrashed" for the purpose of getting out the grain; a boy is "thrashed" to get out the chaff.- (New Haven Register. A Chicago paper says the best scheme for improving the Mississippi river would be something to prevent St. Louis people from bathing in it. It takes no ? to contradict flatly, to sneer openly, to put down an inter?, as a fool may or may not know his own folly.-(London Queen. After the sunshine the snow, after the snow the rain, after the rain the slush, and after the slush any amount of untheological remarks.-(Yonkers Gazette. A London cabman called out after a smart, dapper little gentleman, who affects particularly large hats. "Come out of that ‘at, will yer? I knows yer in it, "cos I see yer foot." The text was, "What doest thou here, Elijah?" He divided it into two leads. "First my bretheren," said he, "let us consider what Elijah did hear: and secondly, what he didn't hear. An exchange says, "A man died in Kentucky last week, aged ninety, who never saw a locomotive or entered a steamboat. This may, in a measure, account for his long life.-(New Orleans Picayune. Marie Rose has been photographed in one hundred and fifty different positions. The only person who can beat her for variety of ? is a boy told to sit still on a chair at a funeral.- (Boston Post. Mrs. Jenkins is a clever old lady, and means well, but sometimes gets the wrong word. She hit it pretty close though, yesterday, when she said the storm looked omnibus for the horse railroad.-(Lowell Citizen. Jeff Davis' "Rise and Fall of the Confederate Government" is no relation to Burdette's "Rise and Fall of the Mustache"-(Burlington Hawkeye. No; the confederacy, unlike a mustache is down forever.-(Philadelphia News. The great demand of the day is legislation that will prevent the adulteration of food, medicine and whisky. With people whose whisky is both food and medicine it will be suff? to stop the adulteration of that.-(? Saturday Night. A Galveston man recently had a pair of pants built for him. When he tried them on he found them very tight, and he complained to the tailor. "Can't help it. That's the fashion now. You must keep up with the times." "How the mischief can I keep up with anything to pants that are so tight I can't walk a step?" - (Galveston News. A tramp was being escorted down Galveston avenue by one of the most stylish policemen on the force. "I hate to walk along arm in arm with a policeman," said the tramp. "You ought to be used to by this time, replied the policeman. "I can't get used to hearing people on the streets say. ‘Just look at that vagabond when I know they must mean one of us."-(Galveston News. |