| OCR Text |
Show THE WEDDING DUES. He said: "Squire, how much will it cost a durned old fool like me to get hitched?" She said: "Judge, we are not young critters. He is sixty and I'm turned forty, and I reckon you would do this ‘ere job sorter kinder cheap." He said: "Can't you cut ‘er down just a little, for a durned old couple that's beginning rather late?" The Philadelphia Judge said: "The price is five dollars and I won't shave a hair." She said "There she are" (producing the money). "and for goodness sake jine us, for there's many a slip twixt the cup and the lip, as the monkey said when he pulled the chestnuts out of the fire." He said: (the knot being tied):"Wat a durned old fool I am! Well, Jane, I s'pose I can put up with you for a year, anyway!" So out of the magistrate's office they went, arm in arm, the little old wrinkled man and the middle-aged widow, across the street together, in that new world which is the old, never once suspecting that their hymeneal dicker would be duly reported in the next day's Record. |
