Show rr a POLITELY MANAGED I met et a footpad the e other night Did he ho demand your our money or your life He wasn't that crude He said he regretted that it would be necessary Inconvenience to pecuniary to put me and possibly subject me to physical peril perli and that tho the exigencies of or the moment were such that the tho laws customarily customarily cus cUed elied on for protection So I would have to be bo suspended handed him my watch and pocketbook pocket- pocket book Accounted For What Is your opinion or of Daudet asked the bookish person l I My friend answered the practical I 1 form an affairs how can Aran man o of opinion of at a person perso 1 I had never heard about until his namo nama fell teU so glibly from your our tongue But you have his works In your library I saw the books there thero Hum I dare say that Is true T The e fellow I hired to put In a library for forme forme forme me Is an expert In his line r f Compelled to Be Genuine Remember the eyes of or the nation constituent the are are on on you exclaimed ent enL I know it replied Senator Sor Sor- glum And the nations nation's getting more acutely discerning every day The time is gone when a man can assume an Impressive pose and get by as an optical illusion Sailing Orders that sheet there asked the sick soldier That explained the nurse nurse Is your chart So Well Wen what's the next port 1 I make after quinine I dont don't like that stop NO WONDER i i r I j m i jj j v H They say she attracted no end of attention at the beach She did Her bathing suit came almost down to her ankles and everybody every everybody body wondered what for I t It Dancing Possibilities f The tittle little centipede c so neat neatI I Can tan tango with the best For he can keep on changing feet teet And nd let the others re rest t. t I I A Permanent Occupation Theres always something to do in inthis inthis inthis this world Yes When I have nothing else Ito to do I can always sit down and envy the rich awhile A Difference Would you say that a speech that runs nuns an hour is a long one That depends For a man it would Ibe be but for the missus I should consider consider con con- sider Bider it reasonably short Obeying Orders Wh Whenever never I see a man playing golf goU during business hours I naturally conclude con con- elude clude that he ne has more time on his hands than he knows what to do with I beg to differ with you Well VeIl Sometimes he has merely been frightened into taking a little exercise exercise exer exer- cise rise by a fashionable doctor H His Is Experience Yeast Yeast Yeast-I'm Im I'm told the human race is subject to about 1200 kinds of diseases dis dig eases and ailments C Oh beak Oh Oh I 1 know my wife wIre pas had a good many more than that She Was Relieved Hows that bad boy you had to shake every day asked one teacher of or another 1 Oh Oh hes he's got chills and fever and be he shakes himself now was the reply His Explanation Mrs Yeast YOU Yeast You seem Beem to like that echo Mr Yeast Yes Yeast Yea 1 I do But ut dont don't misUnderstand mis mis- Understand me dear an echo is the only thing I like to talk backA back A Marrying Hero Jones Jones l I see that a man somewhere In tn Missouri tried to support two wives on 8 a week Some bigamist eh Smith Smith No He was a hero Al Altany Al- Al bang tany Argus Regular Contributor Are you acquainted with Drivel Drivell 1 the poet 1 asked tho the caller Sure thing replied d the magazine editor There Isn't a a. week passes that he doesn't contribute something to our waste b basket 1 1 HIS CAR n J ter r l Clutch Clutch Ive Ive I've got a n rattling good car Grippe Grippe I I see sec But I always patronize patron patron- ize tho the troll trolley e line They run good rattling cars The Literary Farmer Tho bulletins keep coming out Their teachings oft amaze For crops arc are fine tine to talk about But mighty hard to raise Where the Fun Comes In Said Sal tl Its It's Its It's Its It's lots of or fun to flirt With Witha with witha a i leap year girl until you get her to propose propose and then say No Said She Yes She Yes Its It's fun for the girl all right but she runs an awful risk Said He In He-In In what way Said She The She The poor boob might say Yes The Only Way Were Redd-Were Redd Redd- Redd Were you ever tempted to go gonto into nto a gambling Joint and and play roul roulette rou rou- l lette etto tte Greene Greene- Greene Yes But you couldn't beat it Well Wen I did beat it it How I 1 beat It for Cor home You Know Him Now old feU fellow ow I want to tell toll you youny my ny side of ot the whole case But I th thought you had already old told me By Bt Jove So I did Well it wont won't to do o any harm to go all aU over it again Judge Discovered What are you wrinkling your nose about Are you sniffing at this assemblage as as- of ot la ladies les' les Not at all I was merely trying to determine if fr I could locate the particular par par- par par- ocular perfume that my wife affects Ah here she Is INo I- I No Improvement Does your mother make you wash your your our face every day asked the older boy oy ley Sure replied the younger one And do you like to do It Not much Well Nell mothers haven't improved elit a e aIt abit lit bit It have they Little Pitchers Etc Blank to caller caller It If Id I'd only known hat that this pleasure was In store for meI me mo I should certainly have arranged my justness business so as to be home earlier Bobbie Why Bobble Why pa dont don't you remember ber ler ma told you they were coming and tad you said Oh the deuce An Easy Way Pa Maude says she wants to see th he seamy seam side of or life Then tell tel Maude to set Bet right to work pork and help her ma with the famIly fam fam- ly Ily sewing HE HAD A REASON y l lG G a f 0 Oe I Good gracious why do you engage en on- gage gago that girl to sing at your picture show owr It makes the pictures seem better dont don't you know Ugly What an n ugly disposition he past has Yes You remember how cross crOSB your husband is the first week every year when he gives up smoking Yes Well hes he's that way all ail ll the time timo Between Girls My dear I 1 never nevor saw you looking BO so well That is a very unkind remark to tomake tomake tomake make Vanessa when I am am lm on my w way y to the doctors doctor's to get him to prescribe a winter trip |